Catching The Bouquet Is Ridiculous

bridal bouquet
INCOMING!!!!!

Towards the end of a wedding, the bride usually turns around and tosses her bouquet at all the single gals attending her wedding, whoever catches it is supposedly the next to get married. They do this at most weddings. It’s always ridiculous.

First of all, all the single girls get, for lack of a better word, “singled” out and are asked to gather their single selves in some location where everyone else at the wedding can gawk at them and remark under their breathes about how unfortunate it is that these girls are single. It’s mortifying, even if you’re happily single, it’s mortifying. Since it’s release Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” has become the siren call to single girls at weddings that it’s time for them to gather and be gawked at. And I like that song, but weddings have ruined it a bit for me.

Once the gals are gathered the bride turns her back to them (effectively shunning her single friends by literally turning her back on them- they’re on their own now…) and then launches her bridal bouquet in the air. At this point, the bridal bouquet is the last chance any of these single girls has for romantic happiness. Naturally, since their entire romantic future rests on the trajectory of that bouquet, ladies get a little vicious. I’m talking shoving, pushing, pinching, tackling, wrestling, and scratching. It happens. These lovely ladies are willing to suffer all kinds of wardrobe malfunctions and physical injury in order to get that bouquet. Finally, after much tussling and general ridiculousness, one woman emerges victorious and the smile on her face let’s you know how overjoyed she is that shortly, she too, will be able to turn her back on her single friends and throw a bunch of flowers in their faces. Basically, it’s The Hunger Games of weddings, except no one dies (unless you count their souls because plenty of those die).

I hate the bouquet toss. Hate. It. Usually, I don’t even participate because I sure as hell didn’t get all dressed up and prettified just so some single bridesmaid could scratch my arm and mess up my hair in an effort to end her single woes. Occasionally, I am forced into it and in those cases, I don’t even look. I keep my eyes firmly on the ground, that way, the bouquet will literally have to hit me in the head to get my attention. I refuse to even look at it. Why? Because that bunch of tightly wrapped flowers doesn’t own me or my romantic future. It’s my way of silently saying “This is some bullshit y’all”.

If you’re not convinced that the bouquet toss is ridiculous, then allow me explain further how awkward this is by talking about every scenario possible.

1. You’re single and you catch the bouquet. So what? You’re supposed to meet someone now? It’s going to magically happen because the bundle of roses and lilies declared it so? Nope. But even the most logical amongst you are going to give someย credenceย to these thoughts. Every guy you meet for the next few months might be the man the bouquet fortold of! And maybe he is, I can’t tell the future, but probably he isn’t. And then you’re disappointed and the bridal bouquet has won.

2. You’re in a relationship and you catch the bouquet. Wowza. Talk about pressure. All of the sudden, everything is going to get real serious yo. Instead of enjoying the relationship, you’re going to start focusing on the future and wondering when he’s finally going to pop the question. You’re going to expect him to. And maybe he should, maybe it’s time for that, maybe you’ve already discussed it with him, but probably not. And then you’re disappointed and the bridal bouquet has won.

3. You’re single and you don’t catch the bouquet. I hope those panty-hose have plenty of room because you are about to hit that wedding cake pretty hard. Again, the bridal bouquet has won.

4. You’re in a relationship and you don’t catch the bouquet. Is he the wrong guy!? Why didn’t the bouquet choose you!? What does it all mean??!! You’re about to take a trip down worry road which leads all the way to over-analyzation-ville. Also, the road is not paved and has lots of potholes. Enjoy. The bridal bouquet wins again!

I mean, I feel like I shouldn’t even have to say it again but, catching the bouquet is ridiculous. Ya with me?

588 thoughts on “Catching The Bouquet Is Ridiculous

  1. I am so glad I am not the only one who hates this tradition. I don’t think it’s just the single women who get humiliated, too. I was literally dragged into the bouquet toss crowd at my Matron of Honour’s wedding simply because she knew me and my now-fiance had started talking about marriage (even though we’d already decided it was too soon). It was embarrassing, and worthy of me mouthing “I’m sorry” at my SO the entire time. I reverse-pushed myself to the back of the group and just watched.
    In the end, we turned it into something silly, with the two single besties of my friend catching the bouquet together and pretending to propose to each other, but it could have been a whole lot worse for all of us.
    Granted, I won’t completely disregard it for my own wedding, but I’ll definitely also be looking at alternatives. This post, in fact, further cements the idea that we need to celebrate the single ladies at weddings not humiliate them.
    After all, some people choose to be single and they know when the time is right. Not some bloomin’ bouquet.

  2. When I got married, I did a bouquet toss. However, the friends I had were not one who fought over it. To us, it’s not a symbolization of who’s getting married next. It’s a wedding keepsake. I tossed the practice bouquet from the rehearsal and they still have it. My husbands best friend caught the garter and he kept it as a keepsake of the wedding. You got to imagine the effect on guys who are in a relationship who catch the garter. Girlfriends be gettin’ giddy and excited over a scrap of cloth!

  3. anonymous says:

    I’ve only read some of the comments on here. But in Hawai’i, I don’t know if it’s a local thing or a filipino tradition. But when it comes to the bouquet toss or garter toss, there usually is money hiding inside of it. That is my only incentive when it comes to that and that’s why i enjoy participating.

  4. Alli says:

    Of the three weddings I’ve been to I’ve always gotten injured in the bouquet toss. When I was 13 I was mauled and knocked to the floor. At 16 I made sure to sit off the dance floor. That didn’t work because I was hit with the accursed thing, mauled by two bridesmaids and knocked into a table. The third time I was just by the bouquet and it bounced off my head! Shake weights really do work!
    So anyways, if the day comes that some guy convinces me to sacrifice my freedom, no bouquet toss. But most people are convinced I’m cursed and doomed to be single for all my years. A fate apparently worse than leukemia and being haunted by my mother.

  5. K says:

    I was at a wedding where the bridal bouquette came right at me. Part of me thought: is it really coming towards me? The other part thought: so what if it is?
    I too think that no bouquette is going to magically bring me Mr. Right, especially since he doesn’t exist. So I didn’t catch it, and it fell to the ground. The bride had to toss it again.

  6. Alyssa says:

    My youngest brother caught the garter at a wedding we went to a few years back… he was 7 or 8 at the time. He’s 12 now and still not hitched.
    But thank you for this. I’m going to my cousin’s wedding this summer and I’m already dreading “so when are you gonna find a nice guy and settle down?” questions, and I just know they’ll be pushing me to try to catch the bouquet.
    But hey, I’ll be 21 by the wedding, so that’s a definite plus!

  7. Lisa says:

    I caught the bouqet, and I am actually the next girl to marry. I loved it and it was so much fun. I’m a swede and we don’t throw bouquets in Sweden. ( if a bride does, she have seen too many Hollywood clips)… I will not throw my bouqet though, but that’s because it’s not a Swedish tradition to do.

  8. Ronnie says:

    Its not so serious and only a tradition. I never been to a wedding where the single ladies were remarked/gawked. If someone has a negative thought about catching a bouquet than why go up there if you do not plan on catching it/going to look away. As far as a bride meaning ya’ll are on your own, than maybe its time for new friends. My happily married friends still hang out.

  9. Angel Kazzala says:

    Bah humbug. It’s just a laugh. It’s the bride’s big day; just join in the fun and stop taking it so seriously!!

  10. RGon says:

    It is silly and somewhat pointless. However, I wouldldn’t go as far as saying they bride is “turning her back” on her single friends. Or people are judging the single gals. I just think some traditions are necessarily worth keep, so maybe we will see this as a thing of the past. But it’s not that trumatizing. We all know its coming. So thats the best time to hit the bar bc its normally a little less crowded ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Tabby says:

    Oh, yes, the bouquet toss. I wet to a wedding once where we had to do it. One woman and I decided to stand back. Way back. And do the rockaway JUST IN CASE. If I remember it correctly, we actually made a pact of it. We were only going up there because people pushed it. But we weren’t touching that bouquet. Neither of us made any attempt to catch it, and were amused at the woman who did. Like really?

  12. cookiemomma says:

    I guess I have the opposite opinion. I am a married mother of 3 and absolutely love my little family, but while at weddings and I see the boquet toss, I can’t help but be envious of the freedom and independance that those “single ladies” have. So not everyone is looking at them and thinking poorly, a lot of us are wishing we were still in those shoes at some point.

  13. Love this. It’s so true. All the bride know which way she is going to toss it because she has seen where everyone is standing. I don’t normally do it either. One time I did it came to me and I pushed it away. If it’s going to me really chance then the bride should turn around before “All the Single Ladies” gather behind there. That way she has no clue, where her best friend is or even who has decided to take part,

  14. Hello,

    I agree with you. I am engaged but i never liked catching the bouquet, is completely ridiculous, and i will not do that on my wedding.

    I liked your post, congratulations.

    Kisses,
    Lucila (From Brazil)

  15. I’ve been to three weddings when the bouquet has been thrown … at the first I was one of four, the second one of three, and the third … let’s just say it’s even worse if you’re the only person up there and you still miss the damn thing. After the second wedding I refused to get up at the third but an actual spotlight was put on me. Nice one, right? I don’t go to weddings anymore.

  16. amandabrooke says:

    LOVE this, it’s so true! It was such an awkward moment at the last wedding I was at and my then-boyfriend said “you’re not going to try to catch it, are you?” Should have been a sign of things to come!

  17. Hate hate hate this tradition but love love love your post. I am not a big fan of weddings full-stop. It’s not an anti-marriage thing I just hate the time money and stress involved only to have to go through this kind of ritual humiliation just because it’s somebody else’s ‘big day’. And you’re supposed to feel honoured to have been invited/involved so cannot ever say anything other than ‘Oh, how wonderful, I’ll be there will bells on’ even if you’re thinking ‘Nah, don’t fancy that much, would much rather spend my weekend on other pursuits’

    I am such a wedding bah humbug. Anyway, great post, wonderfully written.

    1. Thank you! I love weddings in general but there are definitely parts I could do without- especially the parts that involve me having to do something other than stuff my face with cake. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  18. No bouquet toss at my wedding. It’s a nasty ritual and people actually get hurt doing it. As a wedding photographer I’ve seen more than my fair share of horrible tosses and it was not about to be repeated at my wedding. Great post!

  19. Also for the record, my garter toss was rigged–had a “No Trespassing” Sign under my dress that got pulled out first, then of the two single men that actually got up, one of them was actually planning to propose to his girlfriend within the week. So we had one token attempt to catch it (read: stick my hand out from 80 feet away) and a default catch. To each his own on the “traditions,” but they can be made fun.

  20. DUDE, YOU GOT PRESSED! AWESOME!!!

    For the record, I KNEW none of my single friends would even get up, and I didn’t want to do it anyway. So I had an anniversary dance (with the expectation that my namesake and her husband would win it); it wound up going to my parents, which was just as touching.

  21. What a great post! I had a smile on my face the entire time whilst reading this. A situation close to every girls hurt, I mean heart…. I’ll be back for more!

  22. the worst: catching it and then having to participate in that stupid garter thing with the guy who catches the garter. Things I will not have at my wedding.

  23. scream911 says:

    Totally freaking cracking me up right now! I HATE THE BOUQUET TOSS!!!!! I would rather fall naked into a large mass of ugly dying rose bushes than have to endure that catty wrestling match just off-centre the dance floor. URGH!

  24. Thanks for this post! Love the way you put it into words! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks this is absolutely ridiculous. I hate it when they force the bridesmaids (me included) who is single to catch it like its some lucky charm that’s going to make me attached to my perfect guy the next moment.

    The worst is when the bridesmaid all argue among themselves that they don’t want the bouquet and jump for it when its thrown. A total awkward moment.

    *facepalm* I wish they abolish this tradition. Might as well spend the precious time enjoying the buffet and great company during the celebrations!

  25. I love how you have put this together. I especially like how you stated; ‘But even the most logical amongst you are going to give some credence to these thoughts’.
    I was a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding recently and so thought it was best to participate, only to have the fiancee of a friend come and take me from the floor, stating that I was not allowed to participate as I have a boyfriend? Wow, serious business. People take it so seriously!
    Are your thoughts similar on the garter toss for the boys! lol

  26. Chronic Cyber Dater says:

    LOL… I happened to be out for a walk at the last wedding where it was thrown … so glad since the only “single ladies” included a bunch of women over 40 (Aunt remarried) – Including my mom, a bunch of underage cousins oh and two the exact same age who both got engaged within a month of each other. I’m the lone single woman … they shoulda just handed the thing to me! lol but seriously, you have a point… we should abolish the bouquet toss!

  27. The entire wedding enterprise sets up single people to fail. It starts even before the wedding – do I ask someone to be my date? I won’t even start getting into the trouble with that answer. If you choose to brave it alone, all of your friends will casually mention other single attendees. “Oh, have you met my friend, Blake? He also likes breathing.” It all comes to a head with the bouquet toss. Sometimes you’re not even allowed to take in the horror from the safety of your seat. Friends, acquaintances and that damn Blake will all point out that you’re single and “belong” up there. Between them and Beyonce urging you to get a ring on it, what choice do you have?!? I mean, it’s BEYONCE! GotC, we might be at the reception, but Amen!

  28. Congrats on being freshly pressed ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love this post, is it really that bad? Our weddings are really different, with most single girls trying to escape the beady eyes of the older women who are constantly trying to match-make.

  29. Mariajose says:

    I caught the bouquet at my cousins wedding and I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to be singled out. But I caught the bouquet and nothing has changed in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and we’ve discussed the matter of “the future” but a bouquet didn’t mean we had to rush. I think that if a relationship focuses on the right things bouquets should never be a strong influence in any decision.

  30. The funny thing is when I was reading the post, I thought to myself, “wow all the weddings I went to, I never actually saw anyone fight for the bouquet.” I saw plenty where it hit the ground because those that were out there for the bouquet toss were dragged out there. This included my wedding. Or there were a lot of little girls that were fighting over the bouquet while the rest of the single ladies looked on in amusement. Weird to know that people actually fight over it. I thought it was something in movies

    1. Yes! I think that’s one of the most insulting insinuations of this traditions- that none of the single girls can possibly be happy until they’re married. Good on you for not tossing the bouquet!

  31. It’s a shame guys don’t throw a cigar but that might well cause a small riot. But then I’ve seen many a single girl elbowing others out of the way just to get their hands on that bunch of flowers. Girls change once they get that sniff of wedding bouquet.

  32. bloggerchicks says:

    Love this post! Although, I did toss a bouquet at my wedding, but it was a small, simple bouquet that was specially made for tossing. I kept my beautiful bouquet ๐Ÿ™‚ I really hope these single girls aren’t buying the “catching the bouquet” jazz though.

    Blogger Chicks
    http://www.bloggerchicks.wordpress.com

  33. So, I have a little story to go with this. After being with my then-boyfriend for about 2 years, we lost our twin daughters to premature birth and the complications that go with that. Well, I’d agreed to be in a wedding that was to occur during what was supposed to still be a pregnancy. A month or so after the trauma I had to get re-fitted, go to rehearsals, and deal with everyone’s pity.
    So, we’re at the wedding and it’s “that time”. To really, really, really add the pressure (he and I weren’t yet married), when the bride was to “toss” the bouquet, she instead stopped, turned and walked over to me, handing me the bouquet in the presence of some 150 guests, all weeping lightly and applauding.
    Now, 4 months later we got engaged and for the strangest reason I really believed that this event is the REASON he proposed (not love, but rather the pressure of “the bouquet”)!!
    Years later, we are separated and stuck living together.
    I am living proof that the entire concept of this stupid bouquet-tossing BS is just that – BS!!!

  34. I HATE that stupid tradition. I go to a ridiculous amount of weddings (I’m at that age where they’re pouring in). And I always sneakily excuse myself from the situation and hit the bathroom to pound a drink and fix my makeup instead.

    And yes. I even did this when i was the maid of honor. Twice.

  35. The bouquet never won with me. I never do the bouquet toss, I sit and look and make fun. And honestly these fights you mention, they play a part in my decision I am a small sized girl, the bouquet stumble makes me fear for my physical health! Not kidding – perhaps a little ๐Ÿ˜€

    Anyway as I said I never took part in the bouquet toss and it never prevented me from meeting the right guy at the right time and ending up happily engaged to him! I win and I am still broken bones free…

    But I suppose the rush to get hitched turned a silly but kinda cute tradition to a battlefield. Sad but true.
    I enjoyed reading, I would have said the same thing if I wrote about bouquet toss ๐Ÿ™‚

  36. I’ve never liked the tradition either. But it’s still kinda fun to see who will catch the bouquet, so we still did it at my wedding. The difference is that ALL ladies were included, married, single or whatever. And the bouquet toss was not predicting marriage, it was just predicting who would have flowers on their kitchen table the following morning. Our approach turned the whole thing into a bit of a laugh instead of a cut-throat competitive event.
    Great post!

  37. hahaha This really opened up my eyes to how crazy this is. I’ve never been to an actual wedding, so I don’t have first-hand experience of this Battle for the Bouquet… but I have watched a ton of lovey-dovey movies… They’re my favorite okay?! Don’t judge me! haha And Yeah, I’ve seen how crazy the single ladies get in those movies.

    I don’t see anything wrong with staying single. Some people are truly better off that way… Like me! haha I’m not the best at going steady, and I’m sure there are women out there that are the same way. haha It’s not that I’m unfaithful… it’s purely that I’m just not happiest in a relationship. I’m too freaking awesome to be tied down! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Don’t think that you’ve got to get hitched!

  38. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m so tired of being pushed out into the middle of the room by people who know that I’m single. So what if I am? The only thing that makes me willingly get out there is my sister who caught three in a row one year and needs someone to put her back in her place.

  39. And what if it’s thrown and ends up stuck in the lights or on the ceiling? Then the bride gets trampled for screwing up someone’s chance at love. Nope. Too much pressure, ha!

    And I’d be throwing at the wrong angle. Bitches would have to dive!

    I’m having a butterfly bouquet (at some point). And I won’t be tossing it.

  40. I have never been to a wedding in my adult life and don’t remember much about the whole bouquet throwing thing from my singular encounter with the ‘Big Day’ from my childhood but crikey people do seem to go hell bent on catching their little piece of destiny don’t they!?
    A friend of mine went a wedding over the weekend and apparently that part of the night went down like an NFL training ground. Poor girl ran from the room with her mom and two other to avoid being trampled by the largely single female attendees. *shudders* no bouquet throwing for me though! I might hold a warhammer and we’ll see who wants to catch that ๐Ÿ˜€

  41. Fabulous blog! I caught the bouquet once, but then the guy who got the garter was already engaged to someone else. Harrumph. Since then, I just get another glass of champagne when it’s time for the bouquet toss! Congrats on being freshly pressed!

  42. Hahah Great post! I live in Spain and they thankfully donยดt have this “tradition” here.. Itยดs silly and, as you say, just causes internal and externail dilemmas ๐Ÿ™‚

  43. Oh, I’m definitely with you on this one! I’ve had two experience in bouquet catching and both were equally stupid.

    In the first experience, I was about 7 and my uncle had just gotten married to someone. At bouquet catching time my cousin, sister, and I (my cousin was also 7, my sister was 5) were standing toward the front simply excited to participate. All three of us caught the boquet and had it snached away from us by a woman in her 20’s (I think, I just remember thinking she looked kind of old. Hey, I was 7.) After the pandamonium died down we approached her and asked if we could each have one flower from the bouquet (‘ya know, since we caught it) and she refused, saying she had caught it fair and square.

    The second time I was 19 and my (male) cousin was getting married. When his new wife threw the bouquet it was only the three of us (oddly, the same three that had been in the crowd 12 years previously) and I caught the boquet. I was then subject to about an hour and a half of family telling me that I had to hurry up and find someone and marry him before my next cousin got married (two weeks from that date.)

    Definitely ridiculous and not worth the hassle.

  44. I love what Ariel of Offbeat bride did with her boquet… handed it to her lesbian Aunts proclaiming, I’m giving it to this couple because they deserve to get married and AREN’T ALLOWED to.

    Made a hellova point. ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. Aachren says:

    Ahahaha! You’re so on the money.

    At the last wedding that I attended that had a bouquet toss, I was dragged on the floor by the bride (one of my younger sisters). The damn thing first got lodged in the rafters and I sighed with relief until some one fetched it down. (Curse on you, helpful tall friend of the groom.) On the second toss, it went like a heat seeking missile for my skirt…sadly, I couldn’t convince anyone to take it.

    Oh, and almost two years later? Still single. I refuse to be mortified!

  46. Wow, never thought of it that way. But I caught the bouquet once as a girl. I recently had a little girl tell me that maybe catching the bouquet as a little girl is bad luck…because I’m not married yet! Thanks kid, thanks. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  47. preciousbydesign says:

    Hilarious! I love this post, and I want to know where you’ve been all my life. I wish I had more girlfriends like you!

  48. I always felt horrible when sent to the “single girl pile,” not because I didn’t want to be single, but because it seemed like people got a little too into the whole thing. If it wasn’t the spectators egging the girls on, it was women taking their shoes off and rolling up their sleeves as if catching the bouquet was some sort of very important achievement. I never caught one (mainly because I didn’t even try…I’d stand there, mortified and motionless) and I don’t regret it at all. When I got married the first time, I threw the thing with such force that I actually beaned a girl on the head and the bouquet broke…THAT I got some pleasure out of… ๐Ÿ™‚

  49. I haven’t read all 12 bajillion comments so maybe someone already said this but – straight people weddings are already hard enough for queer folks, being forced into the ridiculous bouquet-catching ritual is even more painful. “Oh great, I caught the bouquet. I guess I’ll be the next to get married! Oh wait – that’s illegal! I guess no one at this wedding will ever get married until the law changes in the US! Suckers.”

    Yeah, no. Same thing for the weird garter-toss thing grooms do.

  50. I love this! I’ve never really thought about it because the only time I’ve ever participate in the bouquet toss was when I was in elementary school so I wasn’t feeling too much pressure. However, I’m 19 now so I still doubt I’d feel any pressure to get married/fight for a bouquet but it’s so interesting that 20 and 30 somethings can get so crazy over some flowers.

  51. I agree with everything above! I recently went to a wedding about 4 weeks ago, grouped together with some girls… and wouldn’t you have guess… the bouquet had strategically landed in my hands! literally! there was barely any movement from the wedding guests. I looked around, and being the smallest of the group I was easily hid by taller women. Wanting to avoid the awkward moment of “ohhh you are going to be married next” with a boyfriend who can’t even make monthly payments on time and still needed to be in touch with an ex-wife (they have no kids) after a near 2 year divorce… I let that large bouqet slip quietly from my fingers and roll onto the ground, only to be picked up by the little flower girl!
    Oddly enough, that moment was later reflected in a 5-day period where there was a “moment of truth” between the boyfriend and I came. After this 5 day rest I was jarred by the rudeness of his childish behavior. He broke up with me via Facebook! I guess you can say, he let me drop and roll out of his life just as I had let the bouquet of flowers drop and roll out of my hands!
    [irony]

  52. Back in the day, I tried to refuse to get up for this nightmare. I was in a long-term relationship. We were planning (foolishly) to get married. I was not “single” by any real measure of it but I guess I knew on some level it was not a good idea…

    After I was *literally dragged* up on the floor for this, the bouquet was thrown. Right.At.Me. Hit me square in the chest. If I had moved my arms at all, I would have caught it. I let it bounce off me. And stared at it in horror. No other ladies ran for it. It laid there, embarrassed, for a long time, temporarily defeated.

    They threw it again, of course.

  53. This a good post. I think you touched a nerve :). I’ve been married quite awhile now, but back in the day I remember dragging my feet when being asked to line up to catch the bouquet, it felt like a spotlight shining on my desperation. I guess public displays of scrambling have always made me a little nervous.

  54. Kat says:

    I enjoy attending weddings, but the bouquet toss is the one thing I dread! Apart from ignoring this ‘tradition’ altogether, the nicest version of this I’ve witnessed was at a wedding years ago where the bride’s bouquet was a bunch of long stemmed roses. At the end of the night, she undid her bouquet and presented a single rose to each of the single women at the wedding. It was a lovely gesture, involving no embarassment, humiliation, or competitiveness!

  55. OMG…..SO FUNNY! I love this post and so well put. I am married and I think it is silly but hearing it layed out like you did really makes me realize why I think the way I do. You nailed it! Love the site

  56. melissakoski says:

    What a hilarious post. Thankfully my sister refused to throw her bouquet at her wedding and I eloped while planning my own when I realized SO many aspects of a wedding were ridiculous. Buy a house or fancy wedding dress? Reliable car or host party for strangers?

    The obnoxious flower toss is right up there with the over-used phrase, “every little girl dreams of her wedding”.

    Thanks for so many laughs!

  57. It’s strange how rationally minded females can ever justify making a public display over a bunch of flowers. However this is this case!
    Strange how such an activity has not been created for our male counterparts. This only to implicitly gives to the notion that it is fine for a man to enjoy the life of a singleton! A lil’ bit sexist, no?

  58. Absolute love and agreement for this post! I’ve been to a lot of weddings recently (a LOT) and am becoming sort of the token single friend as all of my college buds get hitched. I’m fine with this, but all married couples seem to want to share the bliss, and so I always get pushed and pulled out onto the floor. I like your way of avoiding the thing–I usually stand at the very edge of the circle, because for some reason no one can ever throw that thing more than about a foot and a half away from her, so being anywhere outside that drop zone is usually safe. Glad to see I’m not the only one who is not a fan of this ritual!

  59. the title caught me at first and thought you had a bad experience in a wedding but while reading it, I guess you were right and I totally agree. Keep up the good job! ๐Ÿ˜€

  60. I actually don’t mind this tradition much, even as a single lady. I usually go up and just kind of stand there purposely missing the bouquet. My complaint about it is that so many brides “plan” who is going to catch it. At the last two weddings I was told, “Oh, just so you know, so-and-so is going to catch the bouquet and her boyfriend is going to get the garter.” What’s the point then? The funniest part about this tradition is some guy awkwardly putting the garter on some girl… so if it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend doing it then it’s really not that fun. I will be doing the toss at my wedding, but I won’t be planning who catches it and I won’t be forcing people to the dance floor to participate (that would just be hypocritical of me since I usually stand there and just pretend to try…).

  61. obsidianfactory says:

    Luckily I am from a part of the world that this has no part of though it seems fun it actually is quite silly as in Muriel’s wedding kinda way. A bunch of flowers cannot write your love life Allah Almighty does that (even if you are atheist the flowers don’t do that for you either) It’s all what you said: ridiculous for many.

  62. While I am totally having the bouquet toss at my upcoming wedding, I stil love this post ๐Ÿ™‚

    I happened to catch the bouquet at a best friend’s wedding and now I’m the next one getting married…so my girls are forcing me to keep up the tradition.

    I absolutely hate the garter toss though…I think it’s gross. Love your writing style!

  63. Nordie says:

    I dont know which I hate more: the being pushed *into* the group by people who think I want to take part or knowing that I will be elbowed in the face by my older sister who is desperate for the whole wedding and kids thing (and as she gets further over the 40 yo mark is getting further away from that happening as men can smell this kind of thing – with or without a second hand bunch of flowers)

  64. Andrea says:

    Tyrannous, that bouquet. Interestingly, at the last wedding I was at, the single men also had a reaction to having to catch the garter. They had to be forced up there and were all, like, “This is oppressive, man, aren’t we over this yet?” I found it interesting.

  65. Hilarious!!! Love your post.When my husband and I got married, we didn’t have a bouquet or a garder toss because we hated it so much when we were single. Stupid, stupid, stupid tradition!

  66. I think the bouquet toss and the garter toss are both antiquated, corny-as-hell traditions. Supposed the idea is to the two catchers to dance together? Who knows.

    The Misses and I scrapped both from our wedding reception.

    Congrats on being pressed freshly!

  67. pinkimagination says:

    Excellent post!

    That damned bouquet!! To be honest, unless it’s my best friend or a family member, I try not to go to weddings… the pity on some people’s faces and the smugness of others (all of whom are coupled-up by the way) is too much for me to bear.

    Being single at most social occasions are tolerable and, sometimes, even fun! But weddings are a different kettle of fish altogether – everyone is loved up and competing with each other to see who is the best couple there (aside from the Bride & Groom of course!).

    The catching of a wedding bouquet comes down to luck and skill – it has nothing to do with fate or love. If someone threw a doll into a crowd, would that mean they would be getting pregnant soon?? No. It’s all horse manure.

    1. I used to hate going to weddings by myself but now I kind of love it. I try to own it. Although, there are definitely still moments of awkwardness I would like to avoid….

      Also, if someone threw funeral flowers into the air, would the person who caught them be the next to die??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  68. catching the bouquet doesn’t guarantees you are the next one to get married and also not catching doesn’t means you are not the next one to get married, it is a funny tradition. I guess if you are a good baseball player you won’t miss that bouquet.

  69. I am just like you! I normally stand in the back with my hands at my side in silent protest. I have been to more weddings than I can keep track of and only once did the damn thing literally hit me in the face. I caught it out of fear that the damn thing would mal me. In the end I screamed no and tossed it away just as quickly as I caught it. Needless to say, I am still single ๐Ÿ™‚

  70. Congrats on a brilliant post and, of course, getting freshly pressed. I am with you in so many aspects here.
    At 30 something, this tradition is getting more and more ridiculous as the ‘crowd’ of single ladies is shrinking dramatically. So at the last few weddings I attended the handful of gals actually tried to hide behind each other, firmly folding their hands behind their backs! Eventually one of the youngsters had mercy with them and caught the bouquet. What a nonsense.
    Also, I really loved my bouquet and wanted to keep it. I didn’t throw mine (see above) and I thankfully didn’t get harrassed about it by my friends. But I do know ladies that wanted to have their bouquet and throw it too. Guess what, they ended up having two! So the single ladies get thrown the cheaper (that is uglier) one. Talk about humiliation. Oh man.

  71. Hahahaha! soooo true! I just got married and was determined NOT to throw a bouquet – in the past I’d just found it awkward for everyone involved!

    Funnily enough, I did end up throwing one, right at the end of the night when a lot of the guests had gone to bed, and only my closest buddies were still there enjoying the end of the night with us. When I did throw it, I threw it because so many of my girlfriends had wanted me to do it, it was about them, and not about formality.

  72. These are amazing words. This is how I have ALWAYS felt at every wedding I’ve ever attended, even when I was a little girl. Nope. Never will believe in this wedding stuff. None of this bouquet for me.

  73. I agree with you. The trend I have noticed lately here in SA is actually very interesting. It is almost like the ladies have taken a silent pact to either not take part or not to catch the bouquet. They eventually but reluctantly move to the front and pack together like a rugby team. When the bouquet is thrown into the air they make no effort at all to catch it. In fact they stand with their arms folded.
    Obviously you have those who are desperately jumping and falling around in an attempt to catch it.
    Nonetheless…I looooove weddings they are so much fun!

  74. I think you took it all way too serious. I mean that thing with the bouquet is just a part of the whole tradition thing, so you can still tell whether you are at a wedding or just on a good, spontaneous home party.

  75. I really agree with you! Unfortunately the bouquet at my friend’s wedding literally hit my head although I tried really hard to stand outside the group and now everyone’s asking ‘when it will happen’ all the time. Honestly, I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years now but marriage just doesn’t mean anything to me, why can’t people just get that?

    1. Haha, then you might be happy to hear that there’s a trend in Germany to buy two bouquets- one for tossing and one for the bride to keep. I think people in the flower business are quite happy about this development. ๐Ÿ˜€

  76. Actually, I did catch a bouquet early this year at some wedding. I dont really believe in that stuff coz I’ve always thought when its my time to get married it will just happen naturally and not by some supernatural force. So my best friend has been bugging me on when am finally going to get into a relationship (just like her) and be happy. In my head I always think “But am happy already!” I’ve had a bunch of not-so-good relationships in the past and the last thing I want to do is try too hard and force myself into a relationship..I would rather it happens at its own time. But my friend just wont let up! Last week was her boyfriend’s birthday and she tagged me along to go buy a present for him. FYI the guy is not really that serious about her but she has their whole life planned in her head.Gosh! how do you tell your friend to take things slow when she is totally in love? So she asked for my suggestion on what to buy and I absentmindedly said “ummh, I dont really remember him getting you anything for your birthday let alone being there for you on the day so why the fuss? Just get him something cheap” And that’s how she stopped talking to me ๐Ÿ˜€

  77. Love this post! I dislike this moment and all the girls that fight for a bouquet..but, every time, it’s so funny!!! ๐Ÿ˜› In July, at my cousin’s wedding, a 12 years old girl cought the bouquet! You can imagine..ehehehe…!!!

  78. A Frog at Large says:

    I didn’t toss the bouquet when I got married, I gave it to my friend who had spent the whole day taking the photos for us. It’s a horrible tradition. As you say, once you’ve got the bouquet, what then? Utterly humiliating; how desperate do you have to be?
    As the bride, aside from the fact that I was never gonna do it, I was also worried about possible trajectory mishaps, like hitting someone in the eye with it, or missing the girly swarm altogether and forcing them to scramble in bushes, under the tables etc…

  79. Firstly congrats on the Freshly pressed. Secondly, we don’t do that in Asian weddings. Weddings in Asia are even more motifying because your mom or aunt or some family friend will hunt you down, drag you by the hair or hand and then ask you the ultimate question “So when is it your turn?” THEN..oh then it gets better because you see you can’t lie to these monsters in human skin, because they actually try to match make your sorry single arse DURING the wedding! If that doesn’t work, the parents do the exchange of phone number or the “Yes, lets “get together” next week, she’ll be in. Bring HIM over too”.
    At least with the bouquet toss, you have the option of blaming everything on it..we don’t even have that..hehehe!

  80. beans8604 says:

    I laughed out loud at the Hunger Games comparison. Twenty four enter, one survives. Its kind of the polar opposite with the garter toss, and potentially more humiliating for the woman. Most men avoid the garter, unless the girl is good looking then they are on it. Ive seen men avoid it based on the girl who catches the bouquet, its harsh. Followed by more humiliation of said guy putting garter on girl who had the honor of catching the bouquet.

  81. Is it just me, or are weddings full of bizarre and demeaning traditions? The white veil, the giving away by the father…etc etc. Need I go on?

    An alternative to Beyonce might be the Desperado song, since that apepars to be the underlying tone to the bouquet toss – let’s see who is most desperate!

    Good post, very amusing (with occasional nightmarish flashbacks!)

  82. Oh yeah, one of the best parts of getting married was not having to do that at weddings anymore. (We skipped it altogether at our wedding.) I always used to sneak off to the bathroom when a bouquet toss seemed imminent. I hated the way it forced you to act desperate, even if you weren’t.

  83. I’m putting my foot down. No bouquet toss when I get married. It’s ridiculous for all the reasons you mentioned. One time I caught the bouquet, and you would’ve thought I was the one who got married. Several people came up and congratulated me and were just beaming. Really? I caught (not because I wanted to, but because it would’ve fallen on my feet if I hadn’t) a bundle of pink flowers. I really can do more impressive things than that. I was not the next person to be married. That couple now has two kids. Wow, I need to read your blog. I like how you write, and I definitely agree with you! Congrats on being pressed!

  84. Oh my God! You took the words right out of my mouth.

    My boyfriend and I have been to four weddings this year. Four!

    That’s four times that I’ve had to “avoid” the bouquet because I refuse to participate in this ritual. And there’s always that person who tries to coerce you into it.

    My boyfriend gets a kick out of my refusal and we both laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing is. It’s downright humiliating to all woman kind.

    Also, he refuses to fight for the garter. We’ll decide if/when we are ready for that next step, rather than leaving it up to “fate.”

    Great post!

  85. I completely agree. Recently got married and skipped that “tradition”. There were friends that could not believe I was not doing it. They kept saying, “But you have to.” Actually, I don’t. That was my motto for the wedding planning. Don’t do something simply because you have to.
    What is creepy to me…the garter. The whole dad puts it on and then later new hubby takes it off in front of coworkers and grandparents…come on now. Its almost 2012. Its a stupid and, can’t believe I am using this argument, sexist!!
    whoa, I feel better after venting. Thanks for the forum to do it under

  86. Jessica says:

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed! I’m also anti-bouquet toss. At our wedding, I held a bouquet but didn’t throw it (or do a garter toss–ick). We donated our flowers to my husband’s grandmother so she could have them at her assisted-living home.

    We had a traditional church wedding but cut out do a lot of traditions: no flower girl or ring bearer, no bridal shower, no matching bridesmaids, no chintzy favors. At the end of the day, being married is what counts, no matter what the Wedding Industry says.

  87. I haven’t read all 298 comments so I don’t know if anyone has said this but … I wonder if it would make anyone feel better to keep in mind what this ridiculous tradition represents. It’s not about getting married. It’s about the “deflowering” of the bride (as is the whole garter toss thing). (Maybe this is obvious, but I recall being utterly stymied when I realized just how crass and anachronistic the symbolism was.) So when the time comes, just say, “no thanks, too late for me, I’ve already been deflowered” and hit the open bar for another drink.

    BTW, I seem to be developing a track record for leaving comments that aren’t meant as offensive but are taken as such, so if you find this offensive, please accept my apology and just delete.

  88. Amanda says:

    One of my best friends married this past August and announced that she would not be tossing the bouquet. At first another bride’s maid and I were critical of this decision because it lacked tradition, but in the end were happy for the decision. Both the bride and groom hated the traditional bouquet and garter toss and opted for an activity in which all the guest could be involved – A DANCE OFF! It was a ton of fun, and although I didn’t agree with my boyfriend’s ejection, everyone had a chance to enjoy the wedding even more.

  89. Catching the bouquet is OK, catching the clap is pretty rotten ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Out of all the things to be caught in a wedding, nothing beats the embarassment of that one and especially if it’s from the groom, yikes!

  90. Totally agree with you that tossing the bouquet must be updated or deleted…last wedding I attended had little girls (8 to about 12 years old) and ‘dragged up by their hair’, divorced gals in the mix. Oh, yay!!

  91. Sometimes, you’ll gonna find some confuse expression from the girl who catch the Bouquet. It’s like..”Oh Dear, what i’m gonna do next? i don’t even have a boyfriend!?!”

    i love this post, i read it and laugh with it – just because i attended a friend’s Wedding Party recently and watched exactly the same thing like you said.

    congrats for the FP.

  92. My head was bobbing in agreement so hard throughout the entire reading of this post, that I think I may have sprained my neck.

    Oh the humiliation of it all. All these married women saying, “Oh come on; it’s just good fun.” It may have been fun for them since they got married at 19 and were still children the last time they had to “go in” for the boquet toss; but when you hit 30, it’s anything but fun.

    One time my skirt was almost pulled off. I had to clutch at it with both hands and then was almost knocked to the ground.

    This is such an ugly tradition. No good can come from it.

    1. Oh yeah, it’s all fun till someone loses an eye…

      Guy’s point of view, this was a funny one. Traditions are hard to break, But you have to start somewhere. Keep the pulling the garter in the bed room and the flowers in the garden, Drinks at the bar everyone! Enjoy!

  93. joahnadiyosa says:

    Haha! You completely have it nailed in the head. Hilarious yet really something to take seriously about. ๐Ÿ™‚

  94. This post is great! I cannot stand the bouquet toss. Recently at a friend’s wedding I refused to go out for it and my guy friends dragged me to the dance floor for it. I always stand in the back and barely pay attention because I don’t want someone’s used flowers that are not going to dictate my love life for me.

  95. Love, love, love this! I cannot stand it either, from the Bride’s point of view or the poor single girls at the wedding. I will not be doing this at my wedding. Nor will my husband be sticking his head up my dress to pull a band off my leg with his teeth! I think some people really don’t think about things and do them just because they are “tradition.” I got a kick out of this!

  96. I threw the bouquet at my wedding a year ago.(but iam in Egypt)I didn’t see what was going on behind me the second the bouquet was tossed,but when I watched the video,there was no scratching or hitting or shoving,Nothing of that sort of crap,they just rushed quickly to where the bouquet was supposed to land…I personally don’t find that ridiculous at all,

    If you wanna talk about ridiculousness..how about the groom taking his bride’s underwear and tossing it to his friends??? (how disgusting)

    how about trying to get something borrowed n something blue before your wedding?

    how about keeping the wedding dress in hiding because the groom is not supposed to see it because its bad luck??? where did that come from?

    I think tossing the bouquet as a gesture..compared to the above mentioned, is pretty great. It means you’re sending flowers to one of your friends,without even knowing who she might be,and wishing her good luck….

  97. Oh wow I feel you. I always refuse to join in on the bouquet toss but the last wedding I went to this seemed to really upset some people. I was being physically pulled from my chair at one point and needed to put on my stern voice. Why is this so important to people??

  98. EmmieElle says:

    Oh my goodness. I LOVE this post. It makes me smile and giggle. I am the single girl who chooses to be single and is terrified of catching bouquet: what will people think? Haha. Thanks. Now I’ll just giggle at my next wedding.

  99. I’ve only participated once and it was so embarrassing, but i didn’t even try to catch it, i just stood there – cuz apparently they needed a bountiful group of girls. so i was dragged and i did it for moral support lol. one of the bridesmaid went out as far as to single me out at my table – “you, you’re single! come here!”

    HORRIBLE!

    great post:)

  100. kmc1969 says:

    that is awesome thanks for posting this! and I am still the single friend have been to so many friends weddings and I feel the same way and lately to the recent weddings I have been to and dragged out for the bouquet toss I just stand there and stare at something other than the bride and tossing. Thanks for saying what I have been thinking all these years!

  101. Ha ha! I loved your spin on this old tradition. Great post! I confess i DID throw the bouquet at my wedding, and my husband tossed the garter. And what pissed me off most about it is that some parents allowed their young children to get in the crowd and scuffle for the airborne prizes as if it were a Mardi Gras parade and they were catching beads and moon pies! And of course, since we’re talking about little kids here (I mean seriously…they had to be only 5 or 6 years old), the adults felt guilty about elbowing them out of the way so they pretty much stepped back and let the kids just have it all. So maybe you’re right…time to let the madness end and just STOP that silly ritual.

  102. PM says:

    oh god this post is so entertaining. i personally don’t like lining up for the bouquet too. they’re just flowers after all. give me a break. you are so right about this one.

  103. In my life I’ve braved the catch swamp many a time and even emerged with the bridal boquet once or twice. Time passed and despite the fact that I’d come out victorious in the boquet pit, it was not I but my friend’s who wed and all the while the corpses of those boquets hung as a mocking reminder of my inability to find/keep a man.

    I find nowadays when the flower toss commences I’m suddenly in dire need of the bathroom or have to take an urgent call…or maybe rescue a kitten from a tree…whatever gets me the heck out of there really. Cause you’re right, it’s ridiculous. I’m a lot more comfortable with being single now than I was in my early twenties and I sure as hell don’t need to lock a bunch of wilted blooms in my desperate grasp in order to know that I’m a good catch.

    Great post

  104. I was considered an old maid when I got married – 35 – there’s no way in hell I was doing the garter, throw the bouquet thing, no way – I was surprised when people were coming up to me at the wedding and saying when are you throwing the bouquet – I said never! Some people seemed shocked, but two lovely ladies came to me and personally thanked me for not doing that “ridiculous bridal bouquet throw” both of these ladies stated all of the reasons above – hated the tradition and always have – I think many ladies do hate it but feel pressured to pretend they like it!

  105. Sharon McElwrath says:

    Thanks for the laugh! I didn’t do the bouquet toss at my wedding because I always hated it too. I’m not sure how many women actually “like” it….maybe they’ve just had one too many by that time and just don’t care! lol Great post ๐Ÿ™‚

  106. Well… well… I usually try to find the reasons behind the strange rituals which we have been following traditionally. And being from India, I have a lot to uncover…My reasoning behind the catching bouquet ritual in a christian wedding is that it puts you in lime light in that wedding gathering. More over you will get publicity through the wedding albums & videos and probability of you catching eligible bachelor’s eye is more…. Just like posting your most good looking pic as the profile pic in the social networking sites… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Tickled my thoughts… good one….

  107. Julio Eiffelt R R says:

    I don’t know exactly, this customs of Wedding day should be done. in Indonesia, in our traditional costume (let say it on of them) people who attend, they toss rice to the couple.

    Great Post and have a Freshly Pressed Day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  108. I was a kid when my oldest sister got married, I was confused then to see grown women wrestling over flowers. I never wanted to be one of those ladies.

    The first friends’ wedding I attended I actually got hit by the bouquet. Everyone shouted for me to grab it, but I stepped away. It seemed like a long moment before another girl reluctantly picked it off the floor. I was thankful that it had not turned out to be another scene from my sister’s wedding.

    I’m all about new bouquet traditions. I especially like when couples give the bridal bouquet to the couple at the reception that’s been married the longest!

  109. I’m divorced, went to a wedding alone was seating with couples and when it was bouquet time someone dragged me to the floor. She meant well, but it was bad. Yeah, not loving the whole bouquet thing. “I Went To A Wedding But Didn’t Catch The Bouquet.” http://wp.me/p1sXPw-en Yes,the bride literally turns her back on the remaining single ladies. Ew.

  110. I am totally anti-bouquet (and anti-wedding to be honest) love this blogpost!
    I was at a wedding a few months ago and had to undergo the tradition… with a twist! Somewhere in this world brides have started tossing toy frogs instead of bouquets. A gigantic stuffed frog literally landed on my lap, I looked at it for 2 seconds and then took the wise decision of rescuing it from the many hands ready to tear it apart! At least I got to take the frog home – I assume it’ll turn into a prince ready to marry me with a kiss!

  111. kaylanmarie says:

    Was just having this convo over coffee with a friend who recently caught the bouqet… because it landed on her feet. Both of us agreed: least favorite part of a wedding. If and when I have a wedding of my own, the bouqet toss will not be a part of it.

  112. sonia says:

    In my country, brides do not throw the bouquet. They give it instead to a friend or relative who’s special in their life and yet not married. And it’s really something beautiful between the bride and the other female. And it doesn’t obligatory mean you’ll marry the next or you are single as in ‘not in a relationship’.
    I’ve received two until now: my sister’s (who’s younger and married when I was single) and my bestfriend. In both occasions, the happiness for being their ‘special female soul’ was bigger than the fact that everyone else knew I was single, as I was actually in a relationship in the second one and not willing to marry!!!
    Just some months ago, I had my first experience in an English-American wedding where I happened to be the bridesmaid. My ex partner was also there, standing with the other men. As he’s now in another relation and I am single-single, I told the bride I would not stand there… too awkward to me. I’m afraid she didn’t like it ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    Had a lot of fun with your post! Thanks. Gracias

  113. Lol Awesome post. The scenario reminds me of all those people who queue for ages before sales start and act crazy in the sales.

    I’ve been to one wedding and when the older guys (people’s dads/uncles etc) tried to push me into the fray I told them I wasn’t single even though I was, but they said it didn’t matter though I held my ground. It was rigged anyway since the bride and her sister had planned it beforehand and the sister got it.

    It’s so demeaning to watch those women jumping up and down and running for it in their restrictive clothing and heels, and I wasn’t even one of them!

  114. In southern louisiana, it’s traditional
    for the bride and/or the groom’s older,
    still-single siblings to dance with a mop,
    or broom. Mops representing women
    and brooms men.

  115. Does the type of flower in the bouquet make any difference? In Victorian times, each type of flower had a special significance, and women obsessed over the type of flower they received. Just wondered if any of that has survived in the 21st century.

  116. When I was single, I went to SO MANY weddings where the single women let the bouquet fall to the floor and then we all stood there looking at it. I went to a few where it got tossed around like a slimy hot potato. I went to ONE where someone actually tried to catch the thing…

    We let her. : )

  117. LOL – this is an AWESOME post. I was just at a wedding with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago and we chose to skip the bouquet and garter toss. Ugh – what a completely non-fun way to end a wedding! I’m glad we didn’t participate in that part. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I absolutely LOVE that you called it the Hunger Games of weddings. Too perfect.

  118. Great post! I concur. As the ever-single woman, I get singled out a lot too. Not only that, but there’s also usually a single guy in attendance whom I’m supposed to magically fall in love with. Though I believe being in a committed, loving relationship has its merits, I don’t think we should be made to feel inferior because we aren’t married. How many happy, lasting marriages of at least ten years can you count? (Happy being the operative word.)

    1. lmarea3070 says:

      Well once you’re married, you’re asked, “when are you having babies?” When you have one baby you’re asked, “when are you having another baby?” If you have too many kids, people wonder if you’re going to have your tubes tied. No on is satisfied. Society loves to put pressure on people.

  119. Ha-larious! And oh so true! What’s even more ridiculous is the garter toss. Unless the woman who caught the bouquet is super fabulous, most of the guys won’t even attempt to catch the garter. It’s really all a bunch of foolishness, if you ask me (and I’m married!).

  120. Great post! I totally agree with you. I always stand in the back and enjoy the amusement of seeing single girls fighting over the bouquet.., very entertaining ๐Ÿ™‚

  121. i could not agree more! this tradition assumes that the single females WANT to be married. and that is certainly not always the case. i’m newly divorced, so perhaps i’m a bad example, but if somebody made me stand in a crowd of women to catch a bouquet that would (in theory) get me married sooner than later, i’d curl up in a ball on the floor in an attempt to avoid it at all costs. screw the bouquet. i’d rather get seconds on the cake.
    http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com

  122. MB says:

    Hahah!
    Excellent post!

    I have an entire COLLECTION of pics of myself @ weddings, standing awkwardly off to the side during bouquet tosses.

    It’s embarrassing, and not a nice feeling…..Desperation. That’s it. Desperation.

  123. I am a photographer and of course the garter toss and bouquet are right up there for required photos. At the last one I did, the flowers were tossed, girls trampled each other, and one emerged victorious-in theory. Then the garter toss. The one tall guy of the bunch nabbed it simply because we had the longest arms.

    Now at this wedding the DJ dang near demanded the flower-catcher and the garter-catcher dance alongside the bride and groom. Apparently the garter-catcher was not up to the flower-catcher’s standards and literally said “No I’m good” and walked away leaving garter-catcher all alone up there. It was terrible.

  124. Love it! And agreed, throwing the bouquet is totally ridiculous. I like one of the other commenters ideas of just giving it to a close friend – or maybe you could devise a whole new ceremony, like giving the flowers to your mum to say thanks? That’d be a nice tradition, I think. Thanks for the blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  125. Lol. This really did make me laugh out loud – I was just at a wedding with my boyfriend of 9 months and didn’t catch the bouquet and IMMEDIATELY though, “Oh shit!” Thanks for the post!

  126. I HATE the bouquet toss too. I always avoided it at weddings, but if I was forced up there, I’d just stand off to the side and not even try to catch it. I just got married this summer & didn’t do a bouquet toss. Instead we had all the married couples come up to dance and asked them to sit down if they’ve been married for 5 years or less, 10 yrs or less, etc. So the longest married couple was left standing and THEY got the toss bouquet and gave us some marriage advice. I thought that was a much better option & it honored their marriage.

    1. Sharon McElwrath says:

      That is such a good and much more romantic idea!! I wish I had done that too, maybe for the vow renewal 20 years down the road I’ll remember ๐Ÿ™‚

  127. I love the bouquet toss. Not because I believe that catching/not catching the bouquet will affect my future relationship wise but I love watching everyone around me clamouring for it. It just brings out everyone’s competitive streak and adds a bit of fun to a wedding. My leaping catch was one of the highlights of my cousin’s wedding five years ago but I’m not disappointed that Mr Right hasn’t shown up yet.

    Plus its not all about ladies, men can get in the action as well with a less used garter toss.

  128. At my sister’s wedding this last June, her psycho bridesmaid kept talking about how she just had to catch the bouquet because it was long past time for her boyfriend to propose. My sister refused to throw her bouquet because she had a metal handle/holder thing on it. That and she wanted to dry and preserve it.

    I got married under a tree by a JP. No flowers at all. If I ever do a ceremony or reception (we had a quickie military wedding) there will probably still be no flowers because I don’t like them enough to spend that kind of money on them.

  129. ctine21 says:

    I have mixed feelings about this tradition. On one hand, I don’t take it seriously in the least bit. Catching a bunch of flowers won’t seal my fate on an upcoming marriage. Not catching a bunch of flowers won’t seal my fate as an old maid (until the next wedding I attend). Single or boyfriend, I feel the same about it. I stand in the back of the crowd, duck under everyone, and then go sit down when it has been caught.

    However, I have seen a change in the tradition. Brides openly handing their flowers to a specific girl of their choosing or preparing a speech before hand explaining why. I think that’s touching and brings more meaning. At one wedding, the bride made a speech, giving the bouquet to her mother (who was single) because she felt so thankful for everything she did.

    It’s moments like the above that make me enjoy the tradition.

  130. Victoria says:

    I went to a wedding last weekend (with a recent break-up on my record), and I was DREADING the bouquet toss. But much to my surprise (and pure joy), the couple decided not to incorporate those archaic traditions into their celebration. What a relief! No bouquet won that day.

    Also, I love this line, “Basically, itโ€™s The Hunger Games of weddings, except no one dies (unless you count their souls because plenty of those die).”

    Very cleverly written. Great post!

  131. I’m still not convinced, but this is a really funny post. ๐Ÿ™‚ Good job!

    When I was little, the bouquet toss was my second favorite part of a wedding. The fact that I never caught one never meant a thing to me (and the fact that I’m still single is suddenly shaking an ugly finger at me), unlike that spoiled little priss who cries and makes such a fuss they give it to her just to shut her up. Yeah, she’s gettin hitched all right. I tend to enjoy the vows a little more now than I did back then, but I still find the bouquet toss as amusing as a good cake fight and I enjoy my front row view. I’m never going to catch one because I’m much more interested in watching the flower girls in the front of me and remembering when I was one. If I’m fifty and I’m still single, I’m not going to look back with a single thought for the bouquets I didn’t catch, and I’ll still join in the fun.

  132. So funny and true! I hate the stigma that comes with single women. Just let me live, people!!
    #3 on your list made me laugh really hard.
    Congrats on being freshly pressed, you deserve it!

  133. Ohh wow you look so freshly pressed ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Congrats! Not surprised at all tho, it was a matter of time. I’ve been reading you for a while now and you’re funny and witty.

    About the subject of matter…hmm not a big fan of weddings in the first place, at least not the traditional type, so yes the bouquet ritual is pretty lame.
    I’m sure after reading this post lots of brides to be will refuse to do it.

    Congrats again GOThC

  134. Personally, I think all of the games at weddings are ridiculous. I don’t want any woman, mother or not, dancing with my new husband the day I get married; there will be no garter “undressing” in public, there will be no flower throwing, there will be no paying for dances with the bride and groom….if people want to pay to dance with my DJ, thats fine. NOT me. I’m not even having a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. So glad to know that I am not the only one who thinks this is childish, stupid, and a waste of time.

  135. A-to-the-freaking-M-E-N! I despise the bouquet toss. It’s so ridiculous – especially when someone like me (who is well over 30 and can see 40 on the rise) is expected to participate with the other KIDS, TEENAGERS and 20-somethings. I usually see the events unfolding and quietly excuse myself to freshen up or flirt with the cute bartender ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks for the post! I laughed heartily and so relieved that someone else feels this way too.

  136. michellediane says:

    I’ve never actually caught a bouquet, but at a friend’s wedding a few years ago I got forced into the single ladies group. I stood several feet behind the main group and was determined not to get the flowers. There was one other female behind me, but she was literally hiding behind me. So there were the two of us, happily single, unhappily in the group waiting for the flying flowers, equally determined not to get them. The bride turned around. . . and must have been reliving dreams of professional sports. She launched that thing over the heads of all the girls who wanted to catch it. It landed at my feet.

    Seriously, I’ll be a bridesmaid and work and help and all that. But if you want me to catch flowers, you better be prepared to tackle because I’m gonna assume you wanna play football.

  137. Ha! I love this! I have always hated that. The worst was at a wedding when they threw on Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and herded the girls out there like cattle. Ugh, no bouquet-toss for me please.

  138. It’s was 32 years ago for me, but I hated the tradition even then, so I did this quiet ceremonial thing of handing it to a friend of mine who was at least 10 years older than myself (I was 31). I don’t know whether I thought it would bring her luck or what. Anyway, she never got married and we’re all in our 60’s an 70’s now. It’s a silly tradition, although, it makes you wonder if Kim Kardashian threw her bouquet? If she did, maybe she should ask for it back? I wrote a humorous story on weddings and marriage last week (“So What Was That All About?”) because I think a lot of the things we do at weddings have nothing to do with staying married. Great post. Congrats on being FP’D!

  139. I totally agree with this post. And it’s incredible to think I’ve “caught” two in my life, but nothing significant has happened to me (like getting a bf or anything). The first time I was only about five years old. I mean come on! I had my whole life ahead of me. The second time was at my cousin’s wedding and I was not in a relationship. Both times the flowers landed on the floor first, so one could argue that I wasn’t really chosen, but rather I chose them! lol I don’t know. In any case, great entry!

  140. I’ve literally been called out by the dj at weddings to go catch the bouquet. nothing is more awkward than when you hear, “all the single ladies to the bouquet toss- kristan this means you.” now i am not only singled out, but literally called out and stared at as i shamefully make my way to the dance floor. i usually don’t participate, or if i am forced to, will stand there with my arms crossed and refuse to pick up the bouquet even if it lands at my feet. it’s embarrassing and i loved your reference to the hunger games. this made me laugh out loud (in class, no less) and made my day.

  141. I am totally with you on the bouquet stance – it definitely made me giggle and think about the time I caught the bouquet at a wedding…22 years ago when I was 7. Was definitely not the next gal married, and still not to this day. Hmmm…oh well!

  142. Congrats on being freshly pressed! I totally agree with this, it’s a great post! I mean, I understand that to some people it’s just a bit of fun, and that’s okay I guess. But the underlying sexism of it all is just ridiculous and uneccessary. Don’t even get my started on the father giving away the bride!

  143. I always hated the tradition for the same reason that you listed. At my wedding, instead of carrying a bouquet, I carried my mother’s wedding Bible. Throwing a Bible at a group of women would be considered sacrilege. Besides, getting a King James in the mouth would hurt a lot more than roses.

    My daughter is getting married on Christmas Eve. She’s carrying the same Bible, and avoiding the same tradition of tossing the bouquet, for the same reasons. Guess you could say we are starting a new tradition…

  144. Rebecca Garrett says:

    Throwing the bouquet IS a silly idea. I definitely agree with the comments that mention the pros of NOT arcing expensive flowers into a free-for-all. I’d rather save and dry mine and decorate with them somehow. My mother put hers into a mason jar with a lamp lid. They look beautiful when carefully dried and then preserved that way. (:

  145. Hahaha, this article is amazing! I AGREE! I hate going up for bouquet tosses, and it is a lame tradition that just makes you feel bad regardless of your situation. I think it’s frivolous. ALSO I am one of those SINGLE HAPPY – LOVE BEING SINGLE – women. I don’t want a boyfriend at this time, and am having an aversion to males! SO WHAT?! Doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or want a marriage… is that too much to handle?! The end. Lol

  146. Thank. You!! Yes the bouquet toss is ridiculous. Especially if your surrounded by a bunch of single women who are about to stamp you into the ground if it flies toward you. I’m the kind of person who would bat it away.

  147. I agree it is ridiculous. At my dads second wedding when I was younger, I caught the bouquet. I was around 10 years old.. if that. Obviously I wasn’t going to be the one to get married. Its a silly concept that puts too much pressure on people and just makes people uncomfortable. Boycott the bouquet!

  148. This post is great, GOTC! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. At the last wedding I attended, I sat back and drank with the guys while the other single ladies wrestled over those petals. One of them left with the bouquet, but I got the cute guy’s number. Just saying ๐Ÿ™‚

  149. Hi there, I liked your post (there was no like button so I have to tell you this) and I agree with you in that the bouquet toss is ridiculous but I honestly don’t think people do it anymore just out of true believe in that this will determine one’s future but rather because it is a tradition. Women have traditionally tossed the bouquet and now we do it out of that tradition without thinking about how stupid it is or about how it is BS indeed.

    I still think it is a nice thing to do although I also don’t like to participate, don’t believe in it and am not up for other girls scratching me or messing with my hair to catch the stupid flower arrangement!

  150. don’t forget when they make the guy who caught the garter put it on the girl who caught the bouquet!

    I work at a wedding venue so I get to see it ever Saturday night… that look of communal dread on the faces of all of those single ladies… and don’t forget Pat Benatar is a pretty popular tune, too!

  151. lol.. i totally get your reasons, sometimes catching the bouquet can be dangerous as well, i remember at my brother’s wedding a bunch of girls literally almost trampled me just to get to the damn bouquet.. When i managed to get out of that mosh pit, i traumatized.. ๐Ÿ˜€

  152. Yep, catching the bouquet is dumb, dumb, dumb. Yet another tradition that we do because we were taught to do it. Then here’s your cool blog post to make us check ourselves…at least on one goofy tradition. (We all know good and dern well that the “single” catcher doesn’t have any better chance of landing a guy. But still they grab.

    Eeek.

  153. Cailin says:

    First of all, I paid a lot of money for that bunch of flowers. Mine. Second, if you do manage to bean someone, say goodbye to all your wedding gift money in the inevitable lawsuit. Finally, just because everyone else does it doesn’t mean you have to. Sheeple.

  154. At my wedding I didn’t throw the bouquet. I had one ready if someone asked for it but actually was relieved to not have to go thru that. I spent 20 years being the single lady at my friend’s weddings – both while in relationships and not. So raise a toast to you and the blog!

  155. Great post and I definitely agree.

    I didn’t even throw the bouquet at my wedding – we were too busy dancing and having a great time to stop for that! No one noticed, no one minded, and I got to enjoy my beautiful bouquet for the rest of the week ๐Ÿ™‚

    Congrats on freshly pressed! ๐Ÿ™‚

  156. wemeetparis says:

    Hahaha, I love this post! Number 4 rings especially true…having a long time boyfriend with a HUGE, I mean, HUGE family means a lot of weddings and family functions. Not catching the bouquet, even though we’re happy in our relationship already, seems to displease much of the family. You can never win, huh? Thanks for the great post!

  157. Cracking up throughout the entire post! Because it is a very sad, very true portrayeal of how what happens when I am at a wedding, and trying to catch the dang flowers! Never have got ’em, dadgummit. But I try my darndest! I have had little to no luck catching a guy’s eye, which makes me willing to believe anything to help me find a man… Even trusting in a bunch of purty lil flowers to cast my fate.
    But reading this post, I’m not sure if it would help me any or not. I would probably end up eyeing the guy I’ve liked for years now, waiting and waiting on him to ask me to dance or something. I’d probably end up freaking him out (I think as far as he knows, we are just friends and that’s all we will ever be… NOT BY MY CHOICE THOUGH!)

  158. Look at you, all Freshly Pressed. My hubby and I snuck off and were married by a judge we knew. No boquet. No garter. No drama, no big bills. Just as married, no trampled single ladies, and no regrets.

  159. Bridal traditions need a serious re-vamp. I was recently guilted in to going to a shower (the WORST!). Of course, I followed the rules: travel with a group you can whisper under your breath with and we worked out who’s turn it was to “have a migraine, we hate to leave before all the festivities are over”……but then I heard someone comment about the bachelor party! So not fair, not enough bachelorette parties !

  160. I try and not participate. When I got married I didn’t even want a bouquet toss, but was pressured into one. So I got even and had the DJ announce that all the little girls under 13 come on to the dance floor where I threw the bouquet to and then invited all the ladies to come forward for Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I wanted to celebrate all the women in my life nothing more nothing less that day!

  161. lilysbakery says:

    totally agree, i have to say when i got married, my flowers were too pretty – and expensive – to be wasted on something so ridiculous!

  162. At my wedding the bouquet was caught by a seventy something widow. Really? What was she doing up there? The garter was caught by a scrawny 20 year old who had issues (drugs?). When the photographer asked if we would like a photo with the folks who caught the bouquet and garter, I said no thanks.

  163. Carlie Chew says:

    Haha love it! I’ve been to a lot of weddings recently and of course as a non married girl I get forced up there. I usually stand to the side and try to avoid the whole fuss, even better is when you go to the bathroom and oops you missed the bouquet toss.

  164. I like your header on the blog. Best to stick to the tradition of eating and the honeymoon. It’s been a long time I’ve huddled around for the bridal toss..

    That’s ok, I’m with someone already for nearly last 2 decades and not married. Which it isn’t critical ..to engender trust, faith, respect and love between 2 people.

  165. hkleczewski says:

    Thank you! I always try to run to the bathroom or go to the bar to get yet another drink so I do not have to participate in that ridiculousness.

  166. I’m a wedding DJ, I know its ridiculous tradition, but it is just that, tradition.
    I absolutely love your article and can’t wait to share it.
    Great sense of humor, great read. Thanks!

  167. Ah, yes…utterly ridiculous, indeed! I have to be honest, I have NEVER wanted to be a part of the bouquet toss, whether I’ve been single or in a relationship, and refuse to go up to try to catch the bouquet.

    Once, I was literally dragged up by my friends, and when the bouquet was thrown, it made it’s way directly to me. I looked at its trajectory, and then watched as it fell on the floor. I then took 5 steps back in order to step away from it.

    Can you tell I hate bouquet tosses at weddings? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    LOVED this post! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  168. This is hilarious! ๐Ÿ˜€ Even though in this part of the world, you don’t get shoved in the face with unwanted flowers! People still find ways to actually make you FEEL single at weddings! Trust me, they do! Talk about all the aunties going off like morning alarms, only the alarms never say “OH MYYY! WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE”

  169. I am SO with you! I’ve never participated in such a brawl…it’s so demeaning…as though I have no worth without a man AND I have to celebrate my worthlessness by hurling myself into harm’s way in order to procure some magical charm that will bewitch a man into loving me…because Heaven Forbid a man should love me by his own free will. gawd. I usually leave a wedding before this point unless I’m in the wedding party and then I find some reason to leave the room until the foolishness is over. I vote that we being a new Emily Post Book of Equality for Women in Weddings and rewrite all of these crap traditions.

  170. Why does it bother me? says:

    My last stint as a bridesmaid I stood still as statue, hands glued to my sides and refused to look up. This tradition sucks balls!

    Plus it is dangerous, flower stems in the eye is no laughing matter!

  171. After being goaded by all the married people to participate in this stupid ritual at several weddings…this was one of the first things to go when I planned my own.

    We gave away prizes and chocolate at my reception instead. Not a single person asked why we didn’t do a bouquet toss.

    Mission accomplished. ๐Ÿ™‚

  172. I totally agree with you! I don’t even bother to go up and if I’m forced to by the bride, I stay in the back and pray that she’s not a forceful thrower. And if she is, I usually head the opposite direction of the bouquet. No, thank you. One of the previous comments mentioned throwing bottles tossing mini bottles of booze. Now that’s an idea!

  173. Ebi Poweigha says:

    It’s a wedding! Stop being so miserable and enjoy yourself. Pretty much every tradition you can think of, is fundamentally ridiculous.

  174. So with you on the bouquet toss. I’m pretty horrified by a lot of wedding traditions, actually, but that is definitely one of the more insidious ones. What beats the bouquet toss, however, is the unity candle, or whatever version a couple is doing. Two flames become one and then the original two flames are extinguished. Awful! I hate any tradition that suggests that my individuality ceases to exist just because I have merged my life with someone else’s.

    1. Why does it bother me? says:

      OMG I couldn’t agree more. This post has made me smile so much, because even though I am engaged I am SO anti-wedding. I wish I could file for my marriage license on-line and stick two fingers up to those who keep telling me how to get married. So many of these traditions are degrading to women, being given away, is another one that gets my goat!

  175. I read somewhere once that the tradition of the bouquet toss stemmed (ha!) from an attempt to change an even worse tradition at French weddings in the 13th or 14th century. Seems wedding guests somehow got the notion that snatching pieces of the brides dress as keep-sakes would bring them luck. Add generous servings of wine and champagne.. and the melee after “I do” would sometimes reach riot proportions.

    As it became more and more difficult for the newly wedded couple to escape the clutches of their wedding guests – the garter toss and bouquet toss began as a distraction so that the groom could get his bride safely away wearing more than just a smile.

    Dunno if its true or not. Seems like it would be a lot simpler to give the bride one of those big cans of mace like they use for crowd control. I was maced as part of a training class once.

    Is. No. Fun.

      1. Now I understand… I was thinking, “Wow, she really hit some kind of nerve here – lots of opinions today.” I read and commented all from my phone this morning, so I didn’t realize you were freshly pressed – Congratulations!

        Had I realized before, I would have tried to be witty ๐Ÿ™‚

  176. This post was awesome!! I felt your fiestyness in it!!
    Favorite line: Itโ€™s my way of silently saying โ€œThis is some bullshit yโ€™allโ€.

    But you are absolutely right! I never thought of it like … its only funny when girls are fighting for the bouquet! Then its hilarious!
    And thanks, I now have Single Ladies stuck in my head!

  177. Andrea Thomson Viner @ Iowa Dog Blog says:

    I didn’t do the bouquet toss at my wedding because I wasn’t going to put the single ladies through that. We also didn’t do the garter removal thing. I don’t want my dad and grandmothers watching my husband remove my clothing and lick my leg, or whatever else goes on! When I was single, I conveniently had to go to the bathroom or get a drink refill turning the dreaded toss.

  178. Serenely Rapt says:

    We don’t have this bouquet throwing binge over in my part of the world. So I am safe. But, if it did happen in my part of the world, I’d have hated it. Totally.

    Silly I mean. Bunch of flowers forced to stuff like that, poor things.

    I am an environmentalist you know.

    Dagny

  179. So where I come from, there is no regular bouquet throwing but what the throwing represents is integrated in other ways…like, the bride-to-be/bride could slap the single girls in the family or like eat from her hand and other stupid stuff.
    And even without being present, the official bridal bouquet has won! Crap!

  180. I’ve been in the garter toss bit. Last two weddings I was at, I caught the garter. When one catches the thing twice, what is that supposed to mean? You’re twice as likely to get married? You’re going to get married twice? You’re going to marry two people simultaneously? You’re going to marry a clone? Oh the anxiety!

  181. Why is the truth always so darn hilarious? Being in that gaggle of ‘singles’ only happened to me once, but it felt like cattle being led to the slaughter house, with a stop at a senior prom along the way.

  182. LOVE this post.
    You TELL ’em, GOTC. These people are messed in the head. Where did this silly tradition/superstition/voodoo act start anyway? Who came up with this idea? The same person who decided that groom shouldn’t see the bride before the ceremony, I guess.

    Oh, and don’t you love the way the single men line up, but stand as stiff as boards, hoping the garter doesn’t touch them on its short journey through the air?

  183. I caught the bouquet once and tossed it like a cursed Hot Potato. I don’t want any of that mess. At my wedding next year, I think I’ll toss something like mini bottles of booze, and the crowd can consist of just about anyone (single or hitched). I’d rather take a shot than wrestle for flowers any day.

    1. Will the same happen with Second Husband’s number if it’s me doing the drying and tossing?

      GotC, congrats on being freshly pressed with this post!!! How many FP’s is this for ya?? I bet it’s a lot. …Now I’m REALLY not sure if we can be friends. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  184. Hmn, I’m probably going to come off sounding like a cranky b&tch here, but I don’t understand the point of weddings anyway. I’ve tried it twice. There is no happily ever after. Case in point: Why do you think Disney makes so few movies that involve the “after” part of boy meets girl+movie climax=marriage? If happily-ever-after-marriage is so great, why do the few Disney movies involving the ever-after part never make it to the big screen but instead go straight to video and even less often feature the same voice stars?

    Boycott the bouquet. Besides, I’m sure men know to avoid bouquet catchers; after all, what exudes more desperation and screams “Danger Will Robinson” louder than a champagne soused husband hunter triumphantly waggling her mangled and wilting prize under everyone’s nose and hungrily eye-balling the single men who are hesitantly drifting toward the garter toss?

  185. Some weddings stage a parallel-universe Garter Toss for the single dudes. Not as popular or as widespread. The reaction among the lucky participants is overwhelming indifference. Never have I seen fisticuffs break out. What does it all mean?!

  186. I’m with you! I also think that if I were a bride who had spent quite a bit of effort into picking a beautifully arranged bouquet, I wouldn’t really want a bunch of desperate harridans ripping it to shreds to see who’s going to cop off with the best man/catering manager/vicar behind the port-a-loo.

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