GotC: Mr. Butler…
Gerard Butler: You can call me Gerry.
GotC: I’m going to call you Mr. Butler because I love Gone With The Wind and have a thing for Rhett Butler. If I call you Mr. Butler, I can pretend you’re him.
Gerard Butler: That seems really convoluted and unnecessary.
GotC: It probably is, Mr. Butler. It probably is.
Gerard Butler: Ok. So. Questions?
GotC: You’re from Scotland, correct?
Gerard Butler: Yes, I am.
GotC: Oh my. Oh….oh my. I’m sorry. It’s just….you just became incredibly sexy.
Gerard Butler: I wasn’t before?
GotC: I always thought you were kind of douchey, but in all honesty, I have no clue why I thought that. But now….now….oh Mr. Butler!
Gerard Butler: You’re a little mental.
GotC: More than a little, sir. More than a little. Ok. I apologize. I’m going to collect myself and ask a question.
Gerard Butler: Brilliant! Have a go.
GotC: Ok. I’m looking at your IMDB page right now and I see that you played Phantom in the movie adaptation of Phantom of the Opera. Is that true?!
Gerard Butler: Yes it is.
GotC: Well, well, well. Look who just got sexier. It’s like your sexiness is multiplying by the minute! How are you doing that?
Gerard Butler: This interview is becoming a bit creepy.
GotC: Yes, I’ve heard that’s a side effect of being interviewed by me. Did you know that there is no chemical reason we shouldn’t be together?
Gerard Butler: What? Chemical…..why would there be a *chemical* reason we shouldn’t be together?
GotC: Exactly. There isn’t.
Gerard Butler: But why would there have been one in the first place?
GotC: I like the way you say things.
Gerard Butler: Do you have any more questions?
GotC: Oh my zeus!!! Is this *you* in the 300 movie poster?
Gerard Butler: Yes, it is.
GotC: Seriously?! Seriously?!!!!! I feel like your abs own me.
Gerard Butler: Ok. I think I’m going to leave now.
GotC: I can’t go until your abs in this poster tell me to. I obey them. They have complete power over me.
Gerard Butler: Yeah. Goodbye psycho.
GotC: You say that like it’s an insult but with your accent, all I hear is “Kiss me GotC, kiss me now!”
Wowza. Things got a little intense in that interview. Who knew my imagination had such a crush on Gerard Butler? Just in case, you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, I found this video of him giving an interview for 300. Behold the power that is a Scottish accent pared with sexy abs!
Oh, and again, I just want to reiterate that these interviews occur only in my imagination and that these celebrities have never met with, or spoken to me. Their loss. Obviously.