I did my first ever guest post and it’s up on laughteriscatching. I really can’t believe someone wanted to metaphorically invite my crazy over for dinner. Much like a gruesome car accident, I always assumed my blog was something people had to look at despite their better judgement. Click on the link and have a looksee.
Meanwhile, I wanted to share a short story with you. A short story that may or may not end up with me verbally attacking a cashier at a corner store.
Picture it: A lovely Sunday pre-lunch but post-breakfast time. I’m on my way to see a movie (I saw Drive starring my boo Ryan Gosling and it was super gory and Albert Brooks stabs someone in the eye with a fork and I’m sorry but I just can’t buy him as a villain) and I need to stop by the corner store for some Midol because my uterus declared war on my body (probably because it was feeling useless and lonely and scared because I heard there is some type of biological countdown clock and when it reaches hour 0 my uterus explodes or something) and I was in desperate need of relief. I grabbed the Midol and went to the checkout. There was a guy at the checkout, which I always hate when I’m buying lady products, but what can you do? Then this happened.
Guy: Just the Midol?
Guy: That must be awful.
Me: Excuse me?
Guy: You know. (He glances at the Midol) I mean, it just seems really awful for you girls.
Me: Are you kidding?
Guy: Well erm….
Me: You don’t get to say shiz like that to me.
Guy: I was just…
Me: Don’t push me bro. Do NOT push me.
Later on, after the drugs has mellowed me out, I started to feel bad about how I treated that guy but that only lasted like 2 seconds and then I started to feel like he should have just kept his stupid guy mouth shut. I mean, when I see a guy get kicked in the nuts, I don’t walk over to him and say “Oh man. That must really suck for you. I bet that hurts.” You know why I don’t do that?? Because I have no idea. I’m sure it does hurt but I don’t have testes and therefore have no right to remark on how awful it must be to have them crushed by someone’s foot. You see where I’m going with this?