Interviews with Celebrities: Ryan Gosling

Hey girl. Today’s imaginary interview is with Ryan Gosling. You like that don’t you? I know you do. (Note: If you don’t get all the “Hey girl” references then click on the image. Now you get it.)

Ryan Gosling

GotC: Hey Ryan.

Ryan Gosling: Hey…..Girl on the Contrary.

GotC: Why so formal lover? You can call me Girl.

Ryan Gosling: Oh. I get it. You want me to say “Hey Girl.”

GotC: Deep down in your heart- you wanted to say it.

Ryan Gosling: Yeah I did.

GotC: So….why does it feel like the most beautiful woman in the world is in this room?

Ryan Gosling: Are you talking about yourself?

GotC: Oh. No…..it’s just the first pick-up line that showed up in Google when I googled “pick-up lines”.

Ryan Gosling: I think it’s for guys to use on girls.

GotC: I believe you are correct. Ummm…so….you want to make like a fabric softener and snuggle?

Ryan Gosling: Are you trying to pick-me up?

GotC: What?! No. Sheesh. Why would you think that? Wow, you’re really conceited. I don’t know where you would get an idea like that.

Ryan Gosling: I would have to say I got that idea from the pick-up lines you’re using on me.

GotC: Seems like a bit of a logic leap to me but let’s just agree to disagree.

Ryan Gosling: Let’s get on with the interview.

GotC: Uh. I think you forgot to say something.

Ryan Gosling: Fine. Hey girl. Let’s get on with the interview.

GotC: Right you are. What’s your favorite humor blog written by a contrary girl who lives in Austin TX?

Ryan Gosling: I guess with thoseΒ parameters, I would have to say yours.

GotC: Oh my! Flattery will get you everywhere Mr. Gosling. πŸ˜‰

Ryan Gosling: I think the saying goes “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

GotC: That is correct but you+me+flattery=everywhere. It’s a simple mathematical equation.

Ryan Gosling: This is becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me.

GotC: You feel it too? Our chemistry is palpable.

Ryan Gosling: Please move on to the next question.

GotC: If you were the last man on Earth and I was the last woman….

Ryan Gosling: I’m going to stop you right there and say sure, whatever. Next question.

GotC: (Aside to self) There’s hope yet Girl on the Contrary. When the apocalypse happens you will totally be Ryan Gosling’s girlfriend, assuming we both live through it. I like those odds!

Ryan Gosling: I can hear you.

GotC: I know you can boo. I know you can. We are so in sync but not *NSYNC because Justin Timberlake totally should have had your back and asked you to be in that band. Mickey Mouse Clubbers are supposed to stick together.

Ryan Gosling: I would say I’ve faired pretty well without being the member of a boy band.

GotC: You’re so strong. In like, both ways someone can be strong. Can we do the lift from Dirty Dancing now?

Ryan Gosling: Obviously. I’ve had the time of my life.

GotC: Is it ok with you if I get a tattoo of your face with the quote “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” I know you weren’t in that movie but it just seems so right.

Ryan Gosling: Nothing would make me happier.

GotC: You forgot something again.

Ryan Gosling: Sorry. Hey girl. Nothing would make me happier.

FIN

Best imaginary interview yet. Mostly because, well, it’s Ryan Gosling and even thought it’s imaginary (and seriously kids, I want to stress *imaginary* because I really don’t want to get sued) it’s still RYAN GOSLING.

Ideas for next week’s imaginary interview?

30 thoughts on “Interviews with Celebrities: Ryan Gosling

      1. I know!! Can I tell you that I cry blubbery tears at that fake girl’s funeral? Every. Single. Time.

        And I just ache for him to get it together enough to be able to go after that cute little awkward girl. It’s like Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. I know how it’s going to end and yet I feel the anxiety and anticipation every time – even though I’ve seen it/read it about 25 times. If only all movies and books would do that for us.

      1. I’m older so Ashton has entered my mental arena. πŸ™‚ As far as Charlie…maybe he’ll ask you to be a “Goddess”! Now how many times have you been propositioned with that one? πŸ™‚

  1. GotC, I don’t know what it is about you (yes I do), but for the duration of this interview, I was utterly convinced it was a real. I went into it not even liking Ryan Gosling like that, and now… well, I won’t say Darren Criss is looking worse, but, I might just have room in my harem for Third Husband.

    This was Hi.Larious!

  2. cooper says:

    Having made significant strides in your interviewing skills, I think you should go big time next week…either Chaz Bono or Hannibal Lechter.

      1. cooper says:

        of course if you really wanted to go big time with the hottest guy to come around since George Washington (and I hear he was hot hot hot even with the varnished teeth) you’d interview me…

      1. I will pretend you didn’t say that and offer more suggestions:
        How about …… Penn Badgley… or whatever his last name is?
        Ask him if there are relations with Froto?

      2. Really? I loved Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You. Although, I can no longer watch it due to the emotional baggage the movie has for me. I hate when an ex basically ruins a movie for me. 😦

  3. Haha.. I saw that interview yesterday where the ‘Hey Girl’ thing started, and as a Canadian I can confirm ‘Hey Girl’ is totally one of our things πŸ˜‰

    I REALLY want to know what the interviewer wanted him to read ‘in Canadian’!

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