Interviews with Celebrities: Ryan Gosling

Hey girl. Today’s imaginary interview is with Ryan Gosling. You like that don’t you? I know you do. (Note: If you don’t get all the “Hey girl” references then click on the image. Now you get it.)

Ryan Gosling

GotC: Hey Ryan.

Ryan Gosling: Hey…..Girl on the Contrary.

GotC: Why so formal lover? You can call me Girl.

Ryan Gosling: Oh. I get it. You want me to say “Hey Girl.”

GotC: Deep down in your heart- you wanted to say it.

Ryan Gosling: Yeah I did.

GotC: So….why does it feel like the most beautiful woman in the world is in this room?

Ryan Gosling: Are you talking about yourself?

GotC: Oh. No…..it’s just the first pick-up line that showed up in Google when I googled “pick-up lines”.

Ryan Gosling: I think it’s for guys to use on girls.

GotC: I believe you are correct. Ummm…so….you want to make like a fabric softener and snuggle?

Ryan Gosling: Are you trying to pick-me up?

GotC: What?! No. Sheesh. Why would you think that? Wow, you’re really conceited. I don’t know where you would get an idea like that.

Ryan Gosling: I would have to say I got that idea from the pick-up lines you’re using on me.

GotC: Seems like a bit of a logic leap to me but let’s just agree to disagree.

Ryan Gosling: Let’s get on with the interview.

GotC: Uh. I think you forgot to say something.

Ryan Gosling: Fine. Hey girl. Let’s get on with the interview.

GotC: Right you are. What’s your favorite humor blog written by a contrary girl who lives in Austin TX?

Ryan Gosling: I guess with thoseΒ parameters, I would have to say yours.

GotC: Oh my! Flattery will get you everywhere Mr. Gosling. πŸ˜‰

Ryan Gosling: I think the saying goes “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

GotC: That is correct but you+me+flattery=everywhere. It’s a simple mathematical equation.

Ryan Gosling: This is becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me.

GotC: You feel it too? Our chemistry is palpable.

Ryan Gosling: Please move on to the next question.

GotC: If you were the last man on Earth and I was the last woman….

Ryan Gosling: I’m going to stop you right there and say sure, whatever. Next question.

GotC: (Aside to self) There’s hope yet Girl on the Contrary. When the apocalypse happens you will totally be Ryan Gosling’s girlfriend, assuming we both live through it. I like those odds!

Ryan Gosling: I can hear you.

GotC: I know you can boo. I know you can. We are so in sync but not *NSYNC because Justin Timberlake totally should have had your back and asked you to be in that band. Mickey Mouse Clubbers are supposed to stick together.

Ryan Gosling: I would say I’ve faired pretty well without being the member of a boy band.

GotC: You’re so strong. In like, both ways someone can be strong. Can we do the lift from Dirty Dancing now?

Ryan Gosling: Obviously. I’ve had the time of my life.

GotC: Is it ok with you if I get a tattoo of your face with the quote “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” I know you weren’t in that movie but it just seems so right.

Ryan Gosling: Nothing would make me happier.

GotC: You forgot something again.

Ryan Gosling: Sorry. Hey girl. Nothing would make me happier.

FIN

Best imaginary interview yet. Mostly because, well, it’s Ryan Gosling and even thought it’s imaginary (and seriously kids, I want to stress *imaginary* because I really don’t want to get sued) it’s still RYAN GOSLING.

Ideas for next week’s imaginary interview?

30 thoughts on “Interviews with Celebrities: Ryan Gosling

      1. I know!! Can I tell you that I cry blubbery tears at that fake girl’s funeral? Every. Single. Time.

        And I just ache for him to get it together enough to be able to go after that cute little awkward girl. It’s like Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. I know how it’s going to end and yet I feel the anxiety and anticipation every time – even though I’ve seen it/read it about 25 times. If only all movies and books would do that for us.

      1. I’m older so Ashton has entered my mental arena. πŸ™‚ As far as Charlie…maybe he’ll ask you to be a “Goddess”! Now how many times have you been propositioned with that one? πŸ™‚

  1. GotC, I don’t know what it is about you (yes I do), but for the duration of this interview, I was utterly convinced it was a real. I went into it not even liking Ryan Gosling like that, and now… well, I won’t say Darren Criss is looking worse, but, I might just have room in my harem for Third Husband.

    This was Hi.Larious!

      1. of course if you really wanted to go big time with the hottest guy to come around since George Washington (and I hear he was hot hot hot even with the varnished teeth) you’d interview me…

      1. I will pretend you didn’t say that and offer more suggestions:
        How about …… Penn Badgley… or whatever his last name is?
        Ask him if there are relations with Froto?

      2. Really? I loved Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You. Although, I can no longer watch it due to the emotional baggage the movie has for me. I hate when an ex basically ruins a movie for me. 😦

  2. Haha.. I saw that interview yesterday where the ‘Hey Girl’ thing started, and as a Canadian I can confirm ‘Hey Girl’ is totally one of our things πŸ˜‰

    I REALLY want to know what the interviewer wanted him to read ‘in Canadian’!

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