I Had A Thought.

Bra diagram

The title of this post should scare the hell out of you. I’m just sayin.

So, the other night, I was fumbling with the switch to the lamp on my coffee table and I had a thought- “This must be how guys feel when they’re trying to unhook a girl’s bra.”

Which led me to think this- “Poor guys. This is really frustrating.”

Which led me to think this- “Wait. What. The. Hell. Didn’t a guy invent the bra to subjugate women or something?”

Which led me to google “Who invented the brassiere?” And google, as usual had the answer for me, and it turns out it was a woman who invented the corset which led to the bra. So, this one is on us ladies.

Which led me to think this- “Really women? We created something that makes us uncomfortable all day just to annoy a guy for about 15 seconds?”

Which led me to think- “Yeah. We totally did that.”

And then I kept reading about bras and it’s actually a pretty interesting history but then I read this ” [bras are] the most widely accepted method for supporting breasts.”

Which led me to think- “The most widely supported? Is there some type of breast caucus where they discuss the best ways to support your lady lumps? Why am I not invited to that? It seems like I have as much right as any woman to vote on breast support. Also, what are my other options for breast support? I need all the information before I make my decision.”

Which led me to google, “breast caucus” and the results were mainly about breast cancer and one result was about a bake sale, which I found kind of insulting. Apparently the breast caucus where women decide what methods of breast support they prefer is very hush-hush and maybe even imaginary. Also, I’m not sure if a bake sale is involved or not, but if it is, I bet there is a lot of dessert related innuendo going on. But, maybe not, it seems like the breast caucus is serious business. Maybe that’s why I’m not invited- they know I would totally bring boobie cupcakes.

Anyway, that’s what I thought about the other night.

32 thoughts on “I Had A Thought.

  1. ooh, I nearly dropped my cherry bakewells..all overcome with murth and body shaking lalalalaughter that I was. Perhaps there is a designated search engine for this very subject you have brought to the fore – have you boobled it?

  2. Why do we do this to ourselves? We shove all our curvy lady-bits into contraptions built for WWII torture. Spanx website may look cool, but they’re just slapping a pretty face on garments of mass-destruction. Well, I for one am going to revolt — no more undergarments for me. No sir. Hmmm…that may cause the masses to revolt . . . I may have to think about this one.

  3. I feel like the only woman on earth who enjoys wearing bras! They give support, keep things from getting saggy and are pretty.

    Ahem, also I can get them off other women without fumbling. Hiiii laaaadies.

  4. This may be one of my most favorite blog posts of yours. I’m sure that google search also brought up some naughty images.

    I bet some other blog out in the universe is now writing a post about weird searches that led to their site and one of the examples is “breast caucus.”

    1. Thanks! Yeah, there was so naughty stuff out there…..

      Also, I can’t wait to take credit for “breast caucus” as a search term. I hope the Susan G. Komen foundation thinks it’s funny…..also, maybe now someone really will start a breast caucus because it’s kind of an awesome idea.

  5. erm. perhaps the corset is the other alternative, and hav eyou worn one? I’ll take the bra thank you. Except the plunge kind. Those are totally useless. You walk the wrong way an POP there goes a boob out the shirt. Not as funny as ‘Friends’ would make it out to be.

    1. Indeed, I’ve worn a corset. It made my waist very tiny. But really, all I can think about after your comment, is the song Pop Goes The Weasel except instead of weasel, I’m thinking “boobie”.

  6. I can’t even think what the second most widely-accepted would be. A couple of slings? A shelf sitting on stilts with wheels? Helium-filled balloons with soft cords attached? Walking on your hands?

    1. Um, boob slings would be hilarious, as would helium-filled balloons with soft cords attached. (I’m really glad you thought about the cord being soft, that could have been a disaster otherwise.)

      1. cooper says:

        I’m sure the local grocery store would quickly run out of tomatos and any other vegitable or fruit suitable to be used as a projectile

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