The Jig Is Up Kids. The Jig Is Up.

I was walking from the parking lot to my apartment last Sunday when my super-sniffer (that’s my nose) picked up a very strong whiff of marijuana smoke. That’s not a smell you mistake, I went to public school people- I know that smell. I figured one of my neighbors was just chilling out with a doobie and didn’t think much of it until about 60 seconds (or, you know, one minute) later when I walked up the first flight of stairs on my way to my apartment and found 3 boys about the age of 12 smoking a fat chillum on the stairs.

The second those hippie kids saw me they totally froze for about 5 seconds. Then they all pulled out their phones and pretended like they were text messaging. Really boys? Really? Who do you think you’re fooling. I know what’s up. I witnessed you smoking the funny stuff with my own eyes. The jig is up kids. I just stood there for a bit, staring them down. I could tell they were terrified. Then, I died laughing. I couldn’t help it, they looked so scared and the situation was just so utterly ridiculous, I had to laugh. I mean, they were smoking the ganja right in the open on the second floor of my building where absolutely anyone could walk up on them, and then when I did walk up on them, they nearly peed themselves. That’s funny folks. That’s comedy.

I found myself trying to work out the reasoning behind their laughable behavior. And sure, I’m no expert on the minds of 12-year old boys, but I think their thought process went something like this.

I need to rebel. My parents don’t pay enough attention to me and the girl I like only makes-out with bad boys. I need to show her I can be a bad boy. I should buy some giggle-weed. Yeah! That’s the ticket! I’ll buy some wacky terbacky and smoke it with my two best dudes and then that super hottie will totally let me go to second base with her. I wonder where I could get some johnson grass? Oh, right! My neighbor is a total tea head, I’ll just offer to walk his dog in exchange for some jolly green. Where should I smoke it with Β my bros though? My Mom would totally know if I smoked it in the house….hmm….where to light up? Oh! I know. We can walk over to building 3 and hang out on the stairs on the second floor. I mean, only like 8 people live on that floor and like 50 people live in that building and sure, we will be smoking on a weekend Β right in front of someone’s apartment but that shouldn’t be a problem. This is going to be boss! I can’t wait to get some puff the magic dragon and toke-up with my brosephs. (Throws fist in air)

Yeah, I bet that’s what they were thinking. Thanks for giving me a good laugh kids, but might I suggest that next time you go somewhere you won’t be caught. Not all grown-ups are as cool as I am. Not that I’m cool with you smoking weed, it would probably be better if you just didn’t do that. Just say no children, just say no, because even though I’m super cool- I will never bail you out of jail. Ever.

As a fun game, count how many references I made to marijuana in this post! Submit your answers in my comments section. πŸ™‚

38 thoughts on “The Jig Is Up Kids. The Jig Is Up.

  1. haha, hilarious story. immediately made me think of that scene in calendar girls (I think… ) where the one womans son gets arrested for smoking weed, only for the charges to get dropped (but still a call to his parents to come and pick him up from the station) when they realize that he bought and was smoking oregano.

  2. As I was reading your post I did notice that you kept referencing Mary Jane differently. Nice job! I shouldn’t be so surprised about 12yr old smoking herb now adays. My daughter use to tell me that the girls bathroom at school always smelled like pot.

    I counted 13 of the fine stuff.

  3. Chillum is another name to pipe to smoke, I think this word is popular in asia than other places.

    Life shapes up with small incidences and sometimes it leads to unexpected turn as well..

    Sometimes sharing stories of such incidences of somebody who you know or read about, would help convince that smoking appears cool but its not! However I know the teen age is all about curiosity and kids prefer experiencing things by themselves than listen to others! And all this is a part of growing up process.

    1. Haha! After I wrote that in the comments I was like, oh….totally just gave it away. And yet, you were the only one who came up with 13. Congratulations! Mental accolades are being sent your way.

  4. This is classic!! I am positive that is exactly where there frame of mind was when it came to lighting up. Not to mention marijuana has an incredibly distinctive smell, which unless you have been living under a rock will be able to recognize. I think it would have been better if they had actually peed themselves tho – just for effect…lol. I can only hope that they learned their lessons – 1. don’t smoke in public places and 2. text messaging does not make the fact that you were toking up disappear. Great Story!

  5. 14?
    Reminds me of the days I was a rebellious youth. Though I knew that Visine didn’t always work. And slow response times didn’t help either. Standing at the counter for 5 minutes trying to order a cheese pizza usually tips people off.
    But yes, it would have been a funny thing to see.

  6. 11!! Chillum is the best word out there.
    You know I used to watchthe cartoon Puff the Magic Dragon. So all those years… that;s what was coming out of his nose.
    Hmm

    What do I win???

  7. seaweed says:

    Oh wow, I truly didn’t know that marijuana can be referred to in so many different ways. I always learn something whenever I come to your blog. It’s like laugh and learn and.. say no to drugs. Thanks, GotC!

  8. As always, I really enjoyed your post although I have an admission to make. I lived through the hippie generation (will be 58 YO this Sunday, the 24th) but I never, repeat never, even tried pot – or any other illicit drug for that matter. Not that I was such a goody two shoes I just never had a desire to do so. I never even came in contact with it until years later when I was working for our local county sheriff where I busted enough people for it. At that time I probably would have busted them, but now? I would have laughed, too. The government makes too much of a fuss about it when it is much less harmful than alcohol or even tobacco. Sorry, I’m rambling. That’s what happens when you begin to get senile…I think…now, where are my pants?

  9. I suppose it’s the same mentality as the “every generation thinks they invented sex” that makes kids think no one over the age of 17 knows about marijuana.

    It kills me when teenagers are just blasted: eyes glazed and reeking, absolutely reeking, and they are mystified when someone calls them out. I mean, they used visine and everything!

  10. Chillum? Great word. Never heard it before, and lord knows I’ve smoked my fair share of joints. (not sure you used “joint”.). Great post. Tickled my logic bone…or funny bone…whatever. I would have laughed as well at the sight of them. You have a great way with words. Rock on, girl! (that’s “hippie speak” for keep up the good work.
    David

  11. This post is boss… and kids are SO dumb it hurts sometimes πŸ™‚
    Also? You win at pot references, you know, if there was a competition for most references to pot. I think I counted 12?

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