Jake Gyllenhaal Was On Man v. Wild and I Got A Little Silly.

So last night, Jake Gyllenhaal was on Man v. Wild. To say that I was thrilled and a little giddy would probably only cover about 1/10th of what I was feelings. My inner 13 year old was all over this. If you aren’t familiar with Man v. Wild, it’s a show where Bear Grylls (who has the best name ever) drops from a helicopter into the “wild” and shows you how to survive if you ever fall from a helicopter with a film crew into that same “wild”. You may also recognize this show by Mother’s ever popular responses to it such as “Oh. I’m so sure.” and “Oooooh no, Bear is in danger.” (Said in a really sarcastic and hilarious English accent).

Jake joined Bear in a helicopter in Iceland and they traveled to some sort of ice mountain and started walking. Where were they going? No one knows, except the film crew waiting at the designated destination. As luck would have it, there was a vicious snowstorm and Jake and Bear had to find their way with almost no visibility. Such trials only bring them closer, however, and according to Bear, Jake “Has a good character” and “Is afraid of heights with no survival experience.” High praise indeed. But the bro-love didn’t stop there. Jake claimed he would “Follow Bear anywhere” even though at the time he was leading and Bear following. It was a love fest. My favorite quote came from Bear, “You never know when you’re going to need you’re buddy.” Which, I personally think, is the wisest thing I’ve ever heard on reality television. I just may get that tattooed over my heart because it’s such a universal truth. This is what the sarcastic and grown-up part of me thought about the episode. The 13 year old side of me felt a little differently…

Oh my gosh! Jake Gyllenhaal is such a dreamboat. Why is he taking a knife to that dead sheep?? OH! Why, Jake? Why??? It’s ok, I forgive you Jake. Just be careful. Please be careful. If you get hurt I swear on my Tiger Beat that I will avenge your death! The shirt is off! The shirt is off! (At this point, I may have broke into a chorus of Oh Happy Day).  All the clothes are back on now.How does he look so smokin hot in all that clothing? It’s like, some kind of magic. Hotness magic. I wish he was high-fiving me. And by “high-fiving” I might mean something different. (Lots of giggling). And then after that I pretty much turned everything Jake said into sexual innuendo. Because I’m really clever. And mature.

Long story short, best episode of Man v. Wild ever! Ever!

24 thoughts on “Jake Gyllenhaal Was On Man v. Wild and I Got A Little Silly.

  1. girl, one more comment and i promise i’ll let you go to bed.

    reading your “comments” area, there are some “strange” ones, which i’m sure you’ve noticed. in my case, i have ads on the site, and other bloggers are trying to “glom onto” my site for “play” and get their site noticed. and i get a big kick out of the comments, but they’re dangerous as far as spam is concerned. so i urge you to be careful of the ones that don’t make sense. case in point: and i’m not kidding here, even though i’m the funny fuck…………take a look………..
    read this and protect yourself. you’re too good to let spammers trash you…..


  2. hi again,
    you touched my soul and funny bone with this article. i’m a gay man, and jake is one of my two fantasies. (the other is hugh jackman…..omg). so not having seen jake “in the wild”, i can only imagine. gives new meaning to “great smoky mountains”. or maybe “great steamy mountains” is better. but ala, both jake and hugh play for your team, not mine. so it will forever remain just a fantasy.
    great piece though. keep ’em coming, girl.

    1. Well, you never know, I heard a LOT of Hollywood actors are actually gay but afraid to come out. Perhaps one of your guys is! Although, for my sake, I hope it’s Hugh. I’ll take Jake, you take Hugh. 🙂

  3. impartialsanity says:

    Hee. Excellent. Small grammar note though: you used you’re instead of your in the buddy comment. ♥

  4. I’d definitely let Jake Gyllenhall (or however you spell that, I’m too lazy to scroll up) do bad, bad things to me. That kid is pretty dreamy.

    Can I tell you a secret? I only got into the Cubs when I saw Tony Romo singing the 7th inning stretch. True story.

  5. That show irritates me but has some good pointers. I suppose because I grew up in the arctic it makes me snarky with some of the things this dude does, because I know better. But- I don’t have a tv show or Jake. So He wins. lol…

  6. Geez Louise …. how am I never informed of such things!!! I would have died. That is the 26 yo talking in me. The 13 yo would have fainted right after saying the exact same thing.
    It was Wild vs Hot Dudes!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s