Hold Your Bras In The Air If You’re With Me!!!

We Can Do It

Ladies, why are we so hard on one another? Why do we spend countless hours berating, degrading, gossiping, and judging one another? Why do we have to put so much effort into hurting one another? How about a little more R-E-S-P-E-C-T and a lot less H-A-T-I-N-G? I don’t get it. I truly don’t. And that’s not to say I’m not guilty of it myself although I would like to think in the past few years I’ve made an effort at being more encouraging and supportive to my fellow females.

I started really thinking on this after attending a friends party. I had the following conversation with a friends girlfriend.

Her: Did you dye your hair blonde?

Me: I did indeed. I thought it would be fun to change it up a bit.

Her: Well, it looks a lot better than that ugly color you had before.

Me: Actually, that was my natural color.

Her: Exactly. So, are you dating anyone?

Me: Not at the moment no.

Her: Yeah, I don’t think most guys go for your type.

Me: What type am I?

Her: You know, “funny” (she was using sarcastic air quotes).

Me: Huh.

Usually, I wouldn’t let someone get away with talking to me like this without handing them a very large can of verbal whoop ass, but I didn’t want to make a scene at the party. Afterwards, though, I got a little angry. Not because she had insulted me but because I felt like she was slapping female solidarity in the face. Why couldn’t just talk about period cramps and preferred tampon brands? Or, failingย menstruation chatter, couldn’t we talk about the one thing we have in common besides our vaginas, which is her boyfriend and my close friend. If it wasn’t for him, she and I wouldn’t even know or speak to one another but because we both care about him, shouldn’t we at least make an effort to be polite if not friendly to one another? I’m happy to be civil but she was determined to try and start something that would no doubt lead to fisticuffs. Why?

I don’t have the answer to this question but I see evidence of it everywhere. It’s particularly apparent and virulent in middle and high school, and there seems to be misconception that we grow out of it. Some of us do. Most of us don’t. But why does it even start? Who told us we are in constant competition with one another and that every chance we have, we need to humiliate, shame, and metaphorically piss all over one another?

Well, I’m not going to do it. Not. Going. To. Do. It.

I propose a girl code. And not just the girl code you already know about like, don’t flirt with other girls boyfriends/husbands. This is a new girl code.

1. Don’t hate on a girl if you don’t have a reason to hate her. Being pretty, smart, funny, or Gisele Bundchen, is not a good reason to hate someone. If they ran over your dog, hate away.

2. If your boyfriend/husband has a nice friend who is a girl- that doesn’t give you automatic license to criticize her everything. She probably doesn’t want to sex up your man. Unless she does and tells you or him she does, then criticize the hell out of her.

3. Don’t flirt/sleep with other girls boyfriends/husbands. I know I said this wasn’t a part of this code, but it’s a respect thing, ok? Just don’t do it. If you are flirting/sleeping with a guy and he doesn’t tell you he has a girlfriend/wife then he is the major douche-bag, if you know about his relationship then you join him in the douche-bag hall of shame. Again, this is a respect issue. Respect her, and respect yourself.

4. Say something nice. You don’t have to say something nice if you don’t really feel or think it, but when you see a girl with a cute new haircut, or cute shoes, or a pretty top on, tell her you think so. Sew the seeds of positivity within the female ranks.

5. When all else fails, operate under the laws of common human decency.

Are you with me ladies?? If so, raise your bras in the air! Together we can eliminate like 85% of the worlds bitchiness. True fact.


48 thoughts on “Hold Your Bras In The Air If You’re With Me!!!

  1. Haha, totally with you on the code of conduct. But the thing I hate most is the people who act nice to your face and then talk $%*! behind your back. It’s like, really? I have a lot more respect for people who say mean things to my face.
    I would usually say that you should follow that code of conduct for everyone, regardless of gender, but there are some subtle yet distinct differences in the way you speak to other girls as opposed to the way you speak to boys.
    Great post! And I’m sorry if you were hurt by whatever that snotty lady said. She’s just jealous of your wonderful sense of humour. =)

  2. Am I the only one looking for a like-button here?? Ok, then I’ll just come out and say it: awesome post! And what the hell was bitchy-girl’s problem? Why on earth would she think guys prefer snotty to funny? It’s not your fault if she hasn’t got the brains to understand humor… Ok, might be violating the anti-hate code in the post, but I can’t help it – I have a bitch-allergy. I’m normally a good girl ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Anyway, I’ve read a lot of your post after being hooked by that funny bone-post, and well, what can I say, bitchy-girl was right; you ARE funny! And, eventhough I already live by it, I now solemnly vow to follow the girl code from this day on.

  3. Nichole says:

    So true! I have experienced this un-welcomed unwarranted competition many many times. I really don’t understand it but I do think that too many times women have been betrayed by others who don’t possess any morale. furthermore, this is now a learned trait by women. It is truly scary that most women don;t even trust their best friends or sometimes their siblings with their men.
    I however, give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason not to trust them. This only leaves me with small handful of friends in the end (most of which are guys) but I am pretty confident that this small group is as trustworthy and awesome as me.
    Therefore, I am with you! I really am nice to everyone…however, in the situation you described …..I do not think that I could have been so nice. I would have stopped her and said excuse me …..what on earth makes you think that in any way you are better than me? And I would have waited patiently for an answer…..
    Keep the great stories coming! I love reading them!

  4. The Unpredictable says:

    Hi, i totally agree with you. I’ve been having the same situation & i have no idea why are they so competitive towards each other.. after reading this, i’m now holding my bras in the air..lol ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. You make excellent points!
    I am wary of most females when I meet them, but that is because of my own hangups, not theirs! I am getting better the older I get, and I save vicious meanness (I would NEVER say the things that chick said to you, because if I heard them coming from someone else at me? Bitch slap!) for people who have truly wronged me. Since there’s a handful of those, they are not exempt. The rest of the world?
    I smush down jealousy of prettier/happier appearing women and just try to be nice. It works surprisingly well. I wave my bra with you!

  6. I’m with you about it!
    I never could understand why girls have to be so mean with each others, a kind of jealousy maybe ? I’ve always think that people who are jealous are not so happy in their life, plus they will always want something they don’t have. And I deeply think that to be jealous is not good for health, seriously happiness is not the best way to be Awesome ! ๐Ÿ™‚

    So let’s be awesome and get the others jealous about us if they want to… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. Kira. says:

    I already do #3-5.
    The other ones are a bit harded, but that’s cause I’m like crazy or something.

  8. Great post. Just be nice to each other already. It takes some people so long to learn negativity sucks out their own positive energy.

    Your hair looks good in both colors from what I can tell from your teeny tiny picture.

  9. Why was she snide to you for no apparent reason? I have a theory, if you’ll hear me out. I don’t know any of the parties involved in real life, but I’ve seen this scenario play out many times. I’ll share my theory for free and guarantee that it will be worth every penny, or I’ll offer a complete refund – minus shipping and handling charges.

    The most obvious, yet most overlooked, explaination is: She see’s you as competition.

    1. You are close friends with her boyfriend.

    2. You are an attractive woman with a sense of humor. She may be obnoxious, but she’s probably not stupid. She see’s that you are both of these things and recognizes that the man, being a man, notices them too.

    3. You’ve known said boyfriend longer than she has.

    4. You share a bond with him that is “different” from the bond that they have together.

    The argument against this explaination usually runs along the lines of “But we aren’t attracted to each other that way. There’s nothing going on between us. We’re just friends. He/she is like my brother/sister.”

    That has nothing at all to do with it. Trust me. It don’t matter. You’re still competition in her mind – either consciously or unconsciously. Whether or not you and her boyfriend ever hook up – in her mind there’s a threat. A threat that isn’t statistically out of the question given people’s track record, if you think about it.

    You can expand the theory to explain a lot of the reasons that women rip each other apart for no apparent cause.

    On the next episode of Paladin Explains the World, we’ll discuss why gas prices at the pump only go down the day AFTER I fill up my tank…….

    1. I hear you. I still just don’t understand why we all have to see each other as competition- it’s not as if there are only 3 guys in the world. Call me crazy but I just don’t see dating/relationships as some big competition that women have to beat each other senseless to win. But even if it is- how about a little sportsmanship??? Huh?? ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. We don’t all see each other as competition, but I agree with what Paladin said 100%. This girl is telling you these things for two reasons – to make herself feel better and to hopefully make you feel bad. It is her low-self esteem issue. The “funny girl” comment is enough to tell you that. She doesn’t believe that for a second. But she wishes it were true, because she sure doesn’t think she’s got the funny.

        I have met very few girls/women like her. Most of us have low self-esteem at some point (or all the time), but we don’t take it out on other women – in my experience. When I meet one like her, though, it’s a real shock to my system.

      2. You’re certainly correct, most women are decent to one another, but it running into a woman who isn’t definitely makes you think about how we treat one another sometimes.

  10. cooper says:

    i’d hold it up but i can’t find it….oh, your friend’s girlfriend? does she appear on Jersey Shore? what a dope….

  11. craig78681 says:

    Ok, the penultimate sentence is clearly a test to see how seriously we took “The Average Age of Marriage is a Bully”.

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