Sometimes, blogging punches you in the face. Hard. And sometimes it lifts you up on a cloud of cotton candy while unicorns play hit songs from the 90’s and angels pour you glasses of champagne. Sometimes, I spend hours writing and rewriting a blog trying to make it hilarious and relatable. I think to myself “You’ve done it this time old girl. This post is the bees knees. Brava!” (Also, I’m frequently wearing a top hat while I say that.) And then…nothing. No one comments, no one “likes” it, no one cares. And I have to wonder why I even blogged in the first place. I mean, what’s the point for blog’s sake! If hardly anyone reads it, why bother writing it at all?
Why bother writing it at all? Why bother writing it at all? (She shrills incredulously at herself for asking that question). I’ll tell you why. I blog because even when I’m disappointed that no one reads something I was proud of writing- I’m still proud I wrote it. It’s still something I created. It’s like, I gave birth to a really ugly baby that no one wants to be around because they are so uncomfortable about how ugly the baby is, but that doesn’t mean I love it any less. Even if I’m the only one who thinks I’m hilarious and witty but also has a social conscious who is also really kind to old people and makes delicious latkes, well…I lost track of what I was saying. Those latkes are really good. Oh yes, even if I am the only one who thinks those things about myself and my writing, well, hells bells, at least I have that. And also my Mom reads this blog and tells me she really likes it and that I’m hilarious and witty and have a social conscious and that I’m nice to old people but she’s never tried my latkes- so there. My Mom and I are really proud of the kind of writer I am. And that’s not pathetic because I’m an adult and adults are allowed to use their Mothers for justification. If this were a playground that argument would have been lame. But it’s not. So…yeah.
When I started this blog, I had no idea what I wanted my “voice” to be. I also had no idea how discouraging blogging could be. And also, I didn’t know how thrilling and fulfilling (if it’s rhymes it’s true) blogging could be. Basically, there was a lot, like, a LOT, I didn’t know. But, now I know. And sure, there is still a lot more for me to learn about writing, but hey, I’ll learn it. Because even when blogging is literally punching the shiz out of my face and spitting on my soul with contempt, I still really love doing it, and I still really love what I write.
To sum up what I’m trying to say, I’ll just quote a few inspirational pop song lyrics. Blogging, you are the wind beneath my wings, with you, I believe I can fly, you raise me up, and I can’t help falling in love with you.
(Even when you make me cry because no one thinks I’m funny and then I start laughing at how ridiculous I am and write a blog about it no one else thinks is funny. Huh. I’m starting to see the cyclical nature of our relationship….)