Things I’m More Excited About Than The Royal Wedding

If there isn't a fairy godmother and talking mice, I don't care.

So, in all honesty, I don’t get all the Royal wedding excitement. Sorry. (I’m not really sorry)

I mean, it’s a Royal wedding and that’s swell and certainly necessary for dynastic continuation, but movies and all-day viewing parties???? I just can’t get there. It isn’t a fairy-tale. In fact, very few Royal marriages can be considered fairy-tales as most end pretty gruesomely. We should all be saying “I hope Prince William doesn’t have her beheaded for meddling in State affiars.” instead of “I wonder what designer she will pick for her wedding dress.”

Anyway, best of luck to Prince William and Cate Middleton but there is a long list of things I am WAY more excited about than their wedding.

1. ACL. Austin City Limits. It’s in September. It makes me absurdly happy. The line-up is released May 17th. Can’t. Wait.

2. My upcoming birthday. I heard 26 is the new 25.

3. Planning a trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Road trip+Magic= Oh wait, that just equals Magic. Sort of anti-climatic.

4. Rain. You know, it’s hard to anticipate so you’re always left hoping and wondering. Well played nature. Also, wildfires are really messing with Texas right now. We need rain to teach fire the lesson that you “Don’t Mess With Texas.”

5. Seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2. I plan on weeping hysterically through most of the movie.

6. Going to Fiesta Texas for my birthday. I’m going to eat funnel cake, ride roller-coasters, eat dippin dots, ride roller-coasters, eat cotton candy, ride roller-coasters, eat fried food, and visit the water-park. Also, I may throw-up. And if I see Bugs Bunny and crew, I am going to freak my freak!

7. Completing my dating-advice book. Basically, if you do the opposite of everything I advise you to do, all your relationships will be really successful.

8. My morning tea. Makes waking up totally worth it.

9. Getting a massage this weekend. 2 hours of blissful oblivion. In your face stress!

10. Catching up on Flight of the Conchords over the weekend. Lot’s of laughs in my future.

These are all things I am much more excited about than the Royal wedding. Of course, no offense to them- it’s a lovely occasion and I wish them every happiness but I’m just not that personally invested in it. Now, if I were in England and was given a day off work for it- well, in that case I would be ALL IN.

Are you excited about the Royal wedding? And if you say yes, and it’s only because you’re hoping for a beheading, then shame on you. I’m appalled.

12 thoughts on “Things I’m More Excited About Than The Royal Wedding

  1. My mom was uber excited about the wedding…me, well not so much until I came home from work and stood in the living room for a whole 40 minutes watching the replay.

    I think for us in Malaysia (those that got excited) could be because however much we try to hide it, we are a Commonwealth country and it’s not been a big gap between my parent’s generation and mine when the British ruled. Also …we watched Princess Di’s and Prince Charles wedding (that one I was excited over), and I guess it’s just heart warming to see her eldest son tie the knot …:)

  2. I definitely agree it’s not a fairy tale. Like, what fairy tale goes “The prince met a girl and dated her for a decade before deciding to marry her. And based on family history, have a 30% chance of living happily ever after.” There aren’t even any fairy god mothers or glass slippers involved. So not romantic.

    Also, I am strangely excited about the same things you are. Especially rain in Texas. And massages. But don’t worry, I’m getting my own massage, not crashing yours.

  3. Of Life and Laughter says:

    Love the post- I also agree with No. 4! Btw, I’ve been searching for the ACL lineup release date for approximately 2 weeks with (obviously) zero success…thank’s for the date!! Hope it’s as good as ’09!!

  4. cooper says:

    to carry on with the precedent…
    Things That Excite Me More…
    1. toilet bowl cleaner
    2. excess stomach acid
    3. chelsea clinton’s shoe size (that’s two shoe references this week…hmmm…better look into that)
    4. pythagoreum triples
    5. a bucket of grits
    6. mr. rodger’s neighborhood
    7. haggis

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