I Realize Now, This Blog Was A Bad Idea.

Bradley Cooper Running
This is what I imagine will happen after the guy reads my blog. He will literally run out in front of traffic.

Recently, I’ve become aware of a grave mistake I made. That mistake is writing this blog. I realize now, I’ve been perhaps a shade too honest. A bit too myself. And because I did those things I have forever screwed myself out of love.

I think the problem is that when I started this blog I didn’t really have any interest in dating and therefore never thought through what the consequences of my posts would be later when I wanted to date again. Now that the time of dating is once again upon me, I realize this blog has to become a secret. Which will be difficult considering it’s a big part of my life. This is very problematic. I see two options.

1. Tell the guy immediately that I write a blog. (Because, you know, I’m pretty proud of it). Guy I’m dating reads this blog. Guy decides I am a whole lot of crazy and changes all of his numbers and moves to New Zealand. Because, let’s be honest, no guy who reads this blog is going to think I’m a “catch”. Sure, he might think I’m hilarious (which I totally am) but no way is he going to want to date a girl who clearly has no filter, will definitely blog about him, and even if they did date would write some sort of break-up blog when things end. Poor guy. He’s the real victim.

2. I can hide this blog like Mr. Rochester hid his wife. Hopefully it won’t burn my house down. Sure, he might wonder what I am always writing and giggling to myself on the computer about but I’m hoping I can claim some sort of celebrity gossip addiction. And I’ll be all “O.M.G. did you know that Beyonce has a secret Uncle who invented the cell-phone charger?? Scandalous! And Perez Hilton drew a penis on his face. Hahahah!” and then he’ll be like “Oh.” Β and leave me alone to write my hilarious blogs. But what if he finds out about my blog??? Then we have to have an awkward conversation that he will probably read about on my blog the next day.

All my options lead to uncomfortable break-ups. Can anyone think of a third option?? That doesn’t end awkwardly? No?? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

The truth is, I love this blog. I love writing it and I love my readers. But at the end of the day, my hot-tub of crazy is something you need to get used to a little at a time- if someone just jumps in they will be cooked alive. Reading this blog would be like jumping in head-first into my hot-tub of crazy. Basically, this blog is like TMI on crack.

I’m screwed.

20 thoughts on “I Realize Now, This Blog Was A Bad Idea.

  1. some guy says:

    I think what you call crazy, most guys would call witty, interesting and cute. Plus you’re hot and that trumps crazy 98% of the time.

    Then again you could always remove the picture from your blog…

  2. I hear you (same problem here – and my blog starting as being ABOUT relationships and love so that puts me in quite a pickle), but maybe he won’t care? At first, the guy I’m dating read my blog all the time. We were just casually dating at the time. So I blogged about other guys. That upset him. He stopped reading the blog. We started seeing each other exlusively. And he’s never picked up on reading the blog again (even though many times he is featured). I gotta admit, sometimes it bothers me that he doesn’t read something I care so much about, but I almost think it’s better this way. My point is – there are lots of other options. And I believe a guy you are supposed to be with won’t let a blog get in the way.

  3. O there are some other options, you know πŸ˜‰

    first, of course – tell the guy you have a twin sister, who writes some crazy funny stuff in a super cool blog πŸ˜€ (o yeah, that’s like super creative, ha? πŸ˜‰

    second – tell the guy you have the coolest job ever, some publisher pays you crazy money to write some crazy funny blog and act like a crazy person on it, so that later he can make a fortune out of it somehow. Like that 16-year old girl on you tube.

    third – thell the guy you have suffered from social phobia a long time and the latest thing your therapist suggested to you, was writing a super embarrassing blog.

    fourth, and I have to admit – the one with the least chance of success: just wait for the guy, who’ll find your blog adorable and funny, like I and many other readers do πŸ˜‰

  4. You should tell them about it and he (who ever “he” is) really likes you then he will accept your blog complete with crazy thoughts and all. You and your blog are a complete package.

  5. I know what you mean. Everyone I know reads my blog…I’m a bit frightened for when I have a relationship and make fun of it online…
    I love that you made a Jane Eyre reference, because life is always like Jane Eyre πŸ™‚

  6. I’ve got a great third option!!!

    Set up a poll !! The poll will go something like this:

    If you are a male aged _____ , are ____ feet tall, look so good that hunks of meat turn green in envy every time you are five feet away from them, are sentimental, funny, intelligent, a great cook and cleans up after himself, would you date me after reading my blog?

    You’d know for sure then if you’re screwed or not!

  7. I think you should go by the 3rd date rule… but instead of using that as the sex date, use it as the “see, there’s this blog that I write” date. Tell him all about it, give him the most amazing, mind-blowing lay he’s ever had, and then wait. If he’s really cool, you can spend the 4th date discussing what his nickname should be in your blog.

    Or, you could make all the blogs about him password-protected and just give out the password to all of us readers you aren’t dating.

  8. cooper says:

    If he judges you based on what you write (which, afterall is nothing but an extension of YOU) then maybe the relationship isn’t worth it. If not the blog, what else would he judge you upon? shoe color? cheese preference? being a KOL fan?

    another option is that the blog is an incentive for him to keep his act clean and treat you like the queen you are…otherwise risk a public, and well-deserved, flogging.

    and who knows….does he have a blog? myspace groupies? twitter tarts? facebook femme fatals?????

    1. Great. Now, I can add myspace groupies, twitter tarts, and facebook femme fatals, to my list of worries in a relationship. It might be better to just snuggle up with my blog at night.

  9. Yeah, you’re screwed.
    I already have my claws into the one I love. He’s all over the crazy. He’s the one who suggested I share my crazy with the world (it gives him a break).
    Seriously, though, I think you have to have boundaries. You definitely have to share your blog (after a few dates) because, like you said, it’s a big part of your life. If after reading he decides he would rather that you not blog about him you have to respect that. Unless, of course, you’re just using him for sex. If that’s the case, blog away, in detail.

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