Dear car of jerks who saw my panties,
It’s hot in Texas, ok. And when it’s that hot, I wear skirts and dresses. It’s too damn hot for jeans, ok?? Ok??!! And you know something else, occasionally, like yesterday, it also gets a bit windy. And when it gets windy a skirt may be inclined to move in a way that isn’t intended. For example, when the wind blew my skirt up yesterday and you saw my panties. I had no control over that. Just so we are clear, you would certainly not have been the ones I would choose to show my panties to. Got it?
And yes, you may detect an angry tone in this letter. I am angry. Not because you saw my panties. But because you didn’t, at the very least, buy me dinner first. And even though you only got to see them accidently, I think you should have pulled over and offered to buy me dinner after it happened. It’s common courtesy. And sure, I can understand that pulling over may have been problematic considering you were driving and definitely over 85, but I’m just saying I expect more of you. And I think I should say, in all fairness, that even had you bought me dinner, I probably wouldn’t have showed you my panties. But that doesn’t negate the fact that you did get to see my panties, even if it was accidental, and you absolutely should have offered me dinner in exchange. Maybe they didn’t teach you that “back in the day” but in this day and age you owe a lady a dinner if you get to see her panties. (Except in the case when you’ve paid to see her panties ala Sixteen Candles) You guys are a bunch of pervs. I don’t care if you are 85, you’re still a perv. So, I guess what I’m really mad about is two things.
1. I didn’t get a free meal.
2. You acted too excited to have seen my panties accidently.
I mean, if you weren’t going to offer to pay for a meal then you should have had the decency not to look so thrilled to have gotten a glimpse of my panties. You could have acted like you didn’t see anything. Laughing and clapping was not an appropriate response. And, it was mildly insulting. At least, the laughing was. The clapping was actually flattering. Compliments aside, I do NOT appreciate you acting outside the laws of common human decency. You owe me a dinner you dirty old pervs!
Hope this finds you in good health,
P.S. If it turns out you will be dying soon, because you are so old, I will waive the dinner fee. I’m just really glad to have made your last days so special. You’re welcome.