Flirtation Failure- The Facebook Dilemma

Flirt Magazine Flirtation Failure

So- as it turns out, I’m not always a hopeless fool when it comes to flirting. (I will give you a minute to let that sink in)

The truth is, occasionally, I can spin some mad game. It’s just the failures far outnumber the victories- although the victories are Rudy-esque, complete with people carrying me off a football field in triumph. So, while predominantly hopeless, I have had a glimmer of flirtation genius here and there. In fact, I recently flirted quite successfully. (I think I should be clear that by “success” I mean I didn’t hide in a closet, fail to speak, or brutally insult anyone. Yay me!) Then- of course, a problem arose- we weren’t in a situation where getting my digits was appropriate- so, assuming he did, in fact, want my number (which there is no guarantee he actually did… really the more I think about it the more embarrassed I am because now I’m pretty sure he thought I was a hideous troll with a chalky personality- oh geez- I made a fool out of myself didn’t I??? Awww, man. That sucks) ANYWAY- let’s just pretend he did want my number but couldn’t ask for it in that particular situation- how was this guy supposed to get in-touch with me??? The answer to that question for most people would be- Facebook. Facebook has made it possible for you to get better acquainted with just about any random person you meet. Except, I’m not on Facebook. I got off Facebook over a year ago (with good reason) and have never once regretted that decision until now. Now, I’m thinking “Way to take yourself back to the stone-age Girl on the Contrary. Now you will never see that guy again and all that flirtation foundation was totally wasted. You are a major stupidhead.” Was deleting my Facebook account just another example of my failures in flirting??

I don’t know. I really don’t. My reason for deleting my Facebook account was rock-solid, and I don’t regret doing it. It was necessary-  it is still necessary. So what’s a girl to do? I guess nothing. I guess I just have to leave it to serendipity and hope that I will have another wave of flirtation brilliance sometime when it won’t go to waste. What a life.

And now I’m thinking, “Facebook??? Really GotC? You should be embarrassed. I can’t believe you even considered that. You let your moderate flirtation success go to your head and it made you completely lame. And in case you forgot, your mission in life is NOT to be lame. Lame. Lame. Lame. You were actually willing to let Facebook be an acceptable substitute for a guy stepping up and just asking for your number? Because it’s not. It’s not an acceptable substitute. For shame Girl on the Contrary. For shame.”

And now I’m thinking, that I did, in fact, make a giant fool out of myself. And NO WAY was that guy interested. And now, Im reading “He’s Just Not That Into You.” You see? I never feel rejected by the broom closets. Why, oh why, did I abandon my brilliant broom closet plan? It was golden.

Advice? Anyone? Bueller…..? Bueller…….?

18 thoughts on “Flirtation Failure- The Facebook Dilemma

  1. I don’t have advice for you…I mean advice that you could actually use or find helpful that is! 😐

    I also don’t get that book..the one you are reading and berating yourself with! I mean, I don’t know…can you categorize people so definitely??
    (I haven’t actually read the book, but I did watch the guy who wrote it when he was on Oprah)

    I suck at flirting. I don’t think I’ve been on a date before! But I did get married and am divorced, so yea…

    Just go out and have fun! 🙂 If it’s meant to be it’ll be 🙂

  2. you know – today there is no “Can I have your number?” but “Do you have Facebook?”.

    I can only propose a little comfort – if he is a guy, who asks for you “Facebook”, you aren’t really that into him. To my experience a lot of people don’t even ask about your Facebook, but just search you up after meeting…. Horrible. And creepy.

    still I am on Facebook with my blog – when society goes crazy, I want to see it, so that I know when I should start evacuating 😀

  3. Wa Wa Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    From the teacher in Charlie Brown.

    Flirting is all that its cracked to me… technically you are giggling a lot and playing into his ego OR playful banter back and forth and then you walk away going Dear God what was I saying! Did I look stupid?

    I say mail order groom or boyfriend… google it!

  4. I use facebook almost obsessively to keep in touch with people, but when I meet someone new I sort of avoid using it for awhile. My rule is I have to see them in person at least a minimum of 3 times and have proper conversations before I’ll add them. I feel like too many people rely on online communication as a substitute. As it is, even when a guy has asked for my number, he doesn’t call – he’ll text. lame.

  5. I got nothin’ really.

    I quit FB over a year ago (solid reasons too) but reactivated my account last month. I was tired of being out of the loop, and it’s like no one can communicate without it anymore (serously, like one of my brothers axed his phone and only talks through FB or skype now, and I hate skype more than FB! lol). It’s horrible.

    When I re-activated my account I chopped everyone except 15 people, and have built from there with only people that I know, like, and would actually talk to should I meet them in the street. No more asshattery on my FB.

    So ya. I have nothing constructive to say, because I caved.

  6. I can’t flirt. I mean, I don’t think I can. I know I did it at least once because I’ve been married for eons. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about how incredibly hot it was to flirt with my husband when we were first getting to know eachother. How I managed not to not come off as either a complete slut or a nun is beyond me. There is nothing sexier than a confident, goodlooking, easy to talk to guy to flirt with, though. I don’t even know how you would do it on Facebook.

  7. Sabine says:

    1) From my experience, it is normal to have way more failures than successes. Seriously. I’m married now, but had to endure loads of flirtation failures prior to meeting my husband.

    2) He WAS probably interested in you, and he SHOULD have asked for your number, but the situation didn’t allow for it, and that’s a damn shame. At least you know he’s not the “can i have yo numba” type of guy.

    3) Facebook sucks and I, too, got out.

    BUT you could always create a fake Facebook profile (like I did) and look him up, and maybe find out where he works and “accidentally” bump into him and pretend you’re meeting a friend for lunch nearby. Maybe even arrange to meet a friend there for lunch, to make it more real. Not a flirtatious friend, of course. Watch Seinfeld episode “The Stake Out” for reference on how to go about that.

    Now, you may think I was joking there, but the stake out thing, sadly, is for real. I have done that, and before ever watching Seinfeld.

    I have also looked a guy up on Facebook once (except it was Orkut) and we ended up dating for a bit, and it was a significant event in my life, so there you go.

    Goodness, this comment is huge. Maybe I should get my own blog. Sorry.

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