Give Me Nachos Or Give Me Death!


Here’s the thing. I went to a hockey game last week. Well, that’s not the thing but it seemed strange enough to leave as it’s own sentence. The thing was that I was going with a large group of people and many of those people were cute and uber-smart guys and the game was at dinner-time. Here’s what happened next.

Me: I can’t wait to get some delicious nachos at the game!

They who shall remain nameless: What?! There are going to be lots of cute guys there. You don’t want to have nacho fingers.

Me: You must be kidding me. I would never, never, sacrifice my love of nachos for the love of a man.

They who shall remain nameless: Yeah, but you put lots of jalapenos on your nachos- you’ll have jalapeno breath.

Me: Jalapenos are the best part of nachos. I can’t even believe you’re saying this right now. If I can’t have nachos with lots of fake cheese and jalapenos and have a boyfriend at the same time then I choose nachos. I choose nachos every time.

They who shall remain nameless: Really?

Me: Yes! Give me nachos or give me death. I don’t want a man if it means I can’t eat nachos. It’s like the easiest choice I will ever have to make. Nachos win.

They who shall remain nameless: Fine.

I mean, c’mon. Give up my nachos??? I think not. Not even Mr. Alan Alda could pry my hands away from nachos. What are some of the things you aren’t willing to give-up for love? (Think Meatloaf “I would do anything for love. Anything you’ve been dreaming of. But I won’t do that.)

P.S. Also, as it turns out, I like hockey. Who knew?

21 thoughts on “Give Me Nachos Or Give Me Death!

  1. Just now reading this one. The right man will not only BUY you nachos, he will look at you adoringly as the cheese drips down your chin.

  2. rose says:

    firstly – there’s not much I’d ever give up for a man… Which is probably why I am single?
    Secondly here’s a joke for you – what do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?……
    NA’CHO CHEESE! Ha ha ha ha ha

  3. First off… Eddie Izzard is the man… and kinda sexy. Ahhh I can’t believe I said that.
    Second, dude I am with you. Eating is very important. And then nachos with jalopenos.
    No No No!Who is this friend … she is the ONE in need of nachos!
    A real dude like a girl that can eat! True story!

  4. At first when I read your title I thought you liked a guy named Nacho 🙂
    Let’s see….hmmm… I wouldn’t date a guy if he wanted me to give up eating (lose weight) I’m a chubby girl, never been the skinny girl and dint plan on being one. I love me some food!

  5. The right guy for you? Will be totally into your nacho fingers and jalapeno breath. Totally.

    But, um, yeah. If you can (both) keep cheese off your chin while eating them, so much the better. Sloppy eating habits are a turn off. Or they SHOULD be. 😉

    1. I promise I am not a messy eater. Believe it or not, I have excellent manners. In fact, if I ever ate hockey game nachos with the Queen of England she would have nothing to complain about.

      1. Of this I have no doubt. (It’s just that I’ve been on dates with a guy or two who clearly had never eaten among humans before, let alone in mixed company. Waiter? Can you bring us the check please? And hurry… before I get sick!)

  6. Hockey rocks (though the team you cheer for you and I might disagree

    I don’t know what I wouldn’t do… I guess I haven’t had to think about it in awhile. I would be on the same level as you though, in that If I am out and doing my thing, if a guy can’t handle the real me than to heck with that!

    But if you meet Mr.Nacho cheese dribble-shirt with Jalepeno breath at the hockey game.. you can’t judge either 😉

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