I can’t decide whether Google is screwing with me or whether you people just get me. I hope it’s the second but, to be honest, it’s totally ok with me if Google is screwing with me because, wow, they have world domination to worry about so I must be really special for them to take some time to mess with me. Whatever the case, the recent search terms that people use to find my blog have made me so very, very proud.
Immortal jellyfish- What??? They are immortal??? That is terrifying. Oh wait, I blogged about that. I knew that. Still terrifying. So, what are we doing about this humans??
Poopeye- I don’t know what this means. It could be one of two options. 1. You meant Popeye. 2. You have poop in your eye. If it’s the first, no worries, it was a simple typo, it could have happened to anyone. If it’s the second you need to see a doctor immediately because if you don’t you will get eye chlamydia.
Kenny Rogers Lucille lyrics- This is incredible. Especially since I’ve never blogged about Kenny Rogers. But I am now. Kenny Rogers, y’all!
Can a man go in a Romans restroom?- Hey man. I don’t believe in segregating restrooms based on people’s ethnicity. I believe in a world where a man can go into any restroom whether he is a Roman or not. Take your racism somewhere else.
Why would a grocery store be haunted?- Umm, I could give you like a million reasons. 1. Because someone slipped on a strawberry and broke their neck and died. 2. Because an entire shelf of canned goods collapsed on someone and killed them. 3. Because someone had a terrible accident while racing through the store in their grocery cart- and they died. 4. Someone was brutally murdered there. I could keep going, but it all revolves around dying and murder, and I don’t want to give you nightmares or a phobia of grocery stores.
How to segway into making out- I can only help you if you want to find out how to make-out on a segway. Hint: It’s awesome.
Im not invisible, what does that mean?- It means people can see you. There is probably a joke in there somewhere but I actually can turn invisible and don’t want to make light of what a gift that is.