This Makes Me Really Proud. And Confused.

Kenny Rogers
Kenny Rogers, the face of Girl on the Contrary

I can’t decide whether Google is screwing with me or whether you people just get me. I hope it’s the second but, to be honest, it’s totally ok with me if Google is screwing with me because, wow, they have world domination to worry about so I must be really special for them to take some time to mess with me. Whatever the case, the recent search terms that people use to find my blog have made me so very, very proud.

Immortal jellyfish- What??? They are immortal??? That is terrifying. Oh wait, I blogged about that. I knew that. Still terrifying. So, what are we doing about this humans??

Poopeye- I don’t know what this means. It could be one of two options. 1. You meant Popeye. 2. You have poop in your eye. If it’s the first, no worries, it was a simple typo, it could have happened to anyone. If it’s the second you need to see a doctor immediately because if you don’t you will get eye chlamydia.

Kenny Rogers Lucille lyrics- This is incredible. Especially since I’ve never blogged about Kenny Rogers. But I am now. Kenny Rogers, y’all!

Can a man go in a Romans restroom?- Hey man. I don’t believe in segregating restrooms based on people’s ethnicity. I believe in a world where a man can go into any restroom whether he is a Roman or not. Take your racism somewhere else.

Why would a grocery store be haunted?- Umm, I could give you like a million reasons. 1. Because someone slipped on a strawberry and broke their neck and died. 2. Because an entire shelf of canned goods collapsed on someone and killed them. 3. Because someone had a terrible accident while racing through the store in their grocery cart- and they died. 4. Someone was brutally murdered there. I could keep going, but it all revolves around dying and murder, and I don’t want to give you nightmares or a phobia of grocery stores.

How to segway into making out- I can only help you if you want to find out how to make-out on a segway. Hint: It’s awesome.

Im not invisible, what does that mean?- It means people can see you. There is probably a joke in there somewhere but I actually can turn invisible and don’t want to make light of what a gift that is.

23 thoughts on “This Makes Me Really Proud. And Confused.

  1. Something so strange has been happening to my stats page its scary 😐 I’ve had a sudden jump in views and a sudden jump in search engine terms for “sloth”. I checked Google and it’s the picture of a sloth that’s bringing them in droves to my blog!!

    Is it the invasion of the sloths? Are we going into the age of Planet of the Sloths? Can you imagine us all being sloth like?? Oh those poor type A personalities!!! They’d be jumping off buildings soon enough!!!

      1. The stats I see are scary! I’m thinking a blog for this particular search item is a must! I *must* warn / excitedly exclaim the news! I would make it as a sloth too actually! hehehe!

  2. My top 10 in the past 30 days:

    mental health
    chocolate cake
    sarah palin
    rebecca romijn stamos
    dead love
    curly 3 stooges
    impolite questions
    love dead
    moist chocolate cake

    Let’s be careful out there….

    1. Here is what I take from this- Trust in Rebecca Romijn Stamos but don’t ask impolite questions unless you want love dead. Sarah Palin has mental health issues due to moist chocolate cake and curly 3 stooges episodes. Chcolate cake also causes dead love.

      Let’s be careful indeed. Also, avoid chocolate cake.

  3. My most common searches usually have to do with alcohol and rum.
    Unlike your curious predicament, this whole experience has just made me realize I blog about booze way too much.

  4. I can turn invisible too! 🙂 It’s an awesome superpower. Except for those moments when I’ve fallen flat on my face and really, really want to be invisible… then it goes on the fritz. I really need to get that checked.

  5. LMAO.. okay that last one made me laugh out loud a little too much.. haha…

    And here I just a hyperlink to you. I’m so boring. I’ll try to improve.

  6. Sabine says:

    Girl, I’m totally LOLing over here. Seriously!

    Are these for real? I can’t believe the last one, whoever searched for that is operating on a whole ‘nother level of crazy! hahaha

    And these posts always makes me think of haunted elevators, and the time I got stuck in one. Elevator, that is.

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