Loving A Celebrity. It Seems Weird.

Alan Alda
Oh Hawkeye.....

Celebrity love. Loving celebrities. Hmmmm. It seems weird, right? I mean, what, you follow them on twitter, facebook stalk them, real-life stalk them? Where is the line? And if you aren’t the stalking kind then do you just walk around all the time with like lots of unrequited feelings??? And how do you handle loving someone who like a million other people also love? (I’m using the term “love” here pretty loosely- I assume it’s something more akin to lust or desire, but hey, I’m not judging) How do you get past all the groupie love? Do you get jealous? I mean, this all seems very strange, right? Am I right? I’m totally right.

Here’s what I think- I think that celebrities make for a convenient face for whatever your fantasy guy/girl is. They can be anyone, with any type of characteristic because you don’t actually know them. And they are wonderfully good-looking so that doesn’t hurt.  Am I right? I’m totally right.

And yet, I too have fallen into the trap of crushing on a celebrity. Alas, Alan Alda never returned my fervent letters that went something like this.

Dear Mr. Alda,

Can I call you Alan? Al? Sugarbee? Ok- Al it is. (Although I perferred sugarbee myself).

I just want to tell you that you are my favorite actor. Like, most favorite ever. I have a million questions to ask you but I will limit myself to 7 since I’m sure we will be communicating regularly after this and I can ask my other 999,993 questions then. Boy- do we have an exciting life ahead of us!

1. Who is you favorite actor? I just want to know so I can love him as well. It’s really important that we like the same things.

2. Do you have access to a time machine? Listen- you were super foxy as Hawkeye but I realize time has passed since then and I would feel a little strange being with you now (although you are way cuter than Hugh Hefner). So, we are going to need to travel back in time a bit. (Wait- will I exist if we do that? This is pretty complicated but you are totally worth it!)

3.  What is your favorite fruit? Please don’t say blueberries…. please don’t say blueberries….please don’t say blueberries.

4. Do you think the world would be able to handle a hilarious power-couple such as ourselves?

5. Would our love cause an apocalypse? (This is a follow-up to number 4)

6. What is your favorite pick-up line? You should know I will assume you are trying to use it on me. The answer is yes by the way.

7. Can I please call you sugarbee? Please say yes……I don’t want to have to change all the monogrammed towels I ordered.

Love, hugs, kisses, and roses

Girl on the Contrary

I can’t believe he never responded. I. Am. Heart. Broken. What I learned from this experience is that you can’t love celebrities. They will break your heart every time. And they won’t even know they broke your heart because they don’t know you- and you don’t know them. Am I right? I’m totally right.

What celebrities are you loving? And how do you avoid stalking them?

20 thoughts on “Loving A Celebrity. It Seems Weird.

  1. Rachel ann says:

    well, that’s true. Typical people like us and celebrities live in different worlds, indeed. Yet at the end of the day, you’re still keep hoping and praying that these worlds will collide. And afterwards, everything will be possible.. your love becomes possible..
    It’s kinda wishful thinking though..

  2. IU-Fan says:

    I have a crush on IU, a solo-artist, mainly called “national sister” in my country, Korea. I can’t seem to forget her after 1 and a half years. Help me! People say I’m obsessed about her.

  3. I love Lee Taemin of SHINee(South Korean Boy Band)! I love him more than my everything! But I’ve no point of loving him because he’ll never know how much I love him! He is too famous and there are tons of pretty girls around him…I know i can’t even reach to him! But I really can’t forget him! I don’t know what to do! I cried everyday ! I prayed everyday! I do everything I can do but he doesn’t even know my existence ! Am I going crazy?

  4. Craig W says:

    1. Sally Field or “Gidget”. Well, they are pretty much inseparable in my mind. I wrote her. I’m pretty sure I got a photo back. Why oh why did I not keep it?

    2. So, do you have a contract out on Ellen Burstyn? I mean all that clandestine canoodling in “Same Time, Next Year” with *your* main squeeze.

  5. I feel for you girl. Eddie Izard’s lawyer warned that if I don’t quit harrassing him I will be shocked and tased! Harrassing him?!?! More like loving him!
    Oh Eddie, I can never be mad at you.

  6. Oh wow! Celebrity crushes…where do I start!
    okay so it’s not like I have a truckload of them…

    Greg Evigan! Oh my B.J. McKay! I will love him till the day I die – I said when I was 12.

    When I was 17, I grew up and moved on to Tom Cruise. This was an off and on thing for some long, long years until he jumped on that couch and upped and married Katie Holmes! We were perfect for each other! 10 years apart, both Roman Catholics..my stalking is kinda pathetic you see…I didn’t realise he had converted or anything.

    And now…now it’s Colin Farrell! Ah! The bad boy turned good, ah! the irish accent! and ah! his eyes!
    We are perfect for each other! (till the next one comes along of course 😉 )

  7. Sabine says:

    hahahahah Alan Alda! I used to hate MASH whenever it came on as a rerun after X-Men but before The Simpsons. Because then I had a whole half hour (or was it an hour?) with nothing to watch.

    Well, I love movie characters. It’s a sickness, really. It all started with River Phoenix’s character on Stand By Me.

    Right now, it’s Legolas from the Lord of the Rings. And no, I’m not a Lord of the Rings fan, but I was somewhat forced to watch all three movies a few days ago, and Legolas caught my eye.

    And there aren’t many stalking possibilities there.

      1. Sabine says:

        I don’t know, I was like 12. And all the shows’ audios were dubbed into my first language, and I’m sure a lot of jokes were lost in translation. Maybe I’ll give MASH another chance 🙂

  8. I’m personally convinced that me and, well… just about any cast member from the show Friday Night Lights or The West Wing (some Alan Alda love there in season 7) are meant to be. I mean, they say the things I think, how crazy is that?
    Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m in for a lifetime of heartbreak with those folks.

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