Apparently, I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. I know you’re shocked but let that sink in a bit and then we can continue……ready? Sheesh, it sure didn’t take you very long to accept the fact I’ve been wrong. I’m offended- give me a minute to forgive you………ok, you’re forgiven. See how this works?
Remember how you used to hear crazy things on the playground as a kid? Things like, “My Mom told me if I keep my eyes crossed, they will stay that way FOREVER.” And you might believe them for a while but eventually, you realize what they are saying isn’t true. Well, I’m not someone who ever got to the eventually part. Basically, I have believed every playground rumor I ever heard. Until recently, that is, when I very foolishly expressed some of these ideas to the general laughter of everyone around me. So, in the interest of making a fool of myself in exchange for your laughter the following are actual rumors I believed until, like, yesterday. (On another note, I think I may have missed my calling as a court jester)
1. If you sneeze with your eyes open then your eyeballs will shoot out of your head. Finally, about a year ago, I conveyed this idea to a friend of mine and she responded with “How strong do you think your eyelids are?” It was an aha moment.
2 Your blood is blue until it hits the air, then it turns red. I made the mistake of saying this to my sister, who is a nurse. I will spare you the ensuing discussion but…..I can admit I was mistaken in my idea.
3. If you swallow bubble-gum it will stay in your stomach for 7 years. Also, not true- although this was the one that elicited the most debate. Even though I know it’s not true, the thought of swallowing gum still bothers me.
I hope you all got a laugh out of this, I know it’s hard to believe that such a savvy and intelligent lady such as myself could fall prey to these silly childhood tales but alas, it’s true. I would like to think that I clung to these notions in an effort to retain my childhood but the truth of the matter is I never even gave these rumors a second thought. Huh. I’m not sure what to make of that. But I would like to say that, if you too thought these things were true, then, welcome friends- you are in a safe place.