Flirtation Failure: Playing The Tiny Tim Card

Tiny Tim

 

So- I haven’t really had any opportunity to flirt with the accident and all. This puts me behind for my October deadline. But no fear my friends, I have a plan. I’m going to play the Tiny Tim card. Seeing as how I’m on crutches and will likely be so for a while more, this card seems like my best option. I mean, it’s an easy conversation starter. “Hey pretty lady, how did you hurt your leg?” (is what I imagine them saying). Then I can tell them about my car accident and we can just take the conversation from there. They will probably want to buy me dinner because, sheesh, I was in a car accident don’t I deserve a free meal? OH WAIT. I just realized- I can play the damsel in distress card on TOP of the Tiny Tim card. I hear that guys really go for a damsel in distress so I might as well capitalize on it now because this is about the only time in my life anyone would ever consider me a damsel in distress. Ok, I can see it all playing out in my mind now.

Attractive Fella: How did you hurt your leg? ( I left out the “pretty lady” jazz because if a guy said that to me in real life, I wouldn’t really appreciate it.)

Me: I was in a bad car accident. (bats eyelashes)

Attractive Fella: Oh my goodness! I’m so glad you are alright.

Me: Me too, it was so frightening. (more eyelash batting)

Attractive Fella: Can I get that door for you? (note: there is a door)

Me: Yes, please. I would really appreciate it. I just don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. (note: I would have figured it out)

Attractive Fella: It’s the least I could do. I’m [insert name here].

Me: It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Girl on the Contrary. (big smile)

Attractive Fella: Girl on the Contrary?  What an interesting name.

Me: My parents are hippies. (note: my parents aren’t hippies)

Attractive Fella: This may seem a bit forward but, can I buy you dinner sometime?

Me: I like your boldness. Yes, yes you may buy me dinner. (eyelash batting and smiling)

* And they lived happily ever after*  (note: or at least they had a pleasant dinner)

These crutches might actually play in my favor. Or they might just give me bruises in my armpits. At this point, it’s a toss-up.

12 thoughts on “Flirtation Failure: Playing The Tiny Tim Card

  1. And it doesn’t end there. Milk this situation of the crutches thing as much as possible.
    Use it for free stuff EVERYWHERE.
    Free drinks! Free coffee! Free meals!
    And then pretty soon no paying taxes!

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