You Want To Know What I’m Thinking? You Asked For It.

Rodin's The Thinker

Something that has always bothered me is when people ask me what I’m thinking about. Drives me mental. I mean, if I wanted you to know I would have just said it- it’s not like I have much of a filter anyway. And by “not much of a filter” I mean I don’t have a filter. So, if I’m thinking something and not saying it there is probably a good reason. Like, maybe it’s so incredibly offensive even I know not to say it. Or maybe it’s an amazing idea for an invention and I don’t want to tell you because you can’t be trusted. Or maybe I’m having an internal debate about something really important and if I have to interrupt my train of thought I will lose that great plan for world peace. Jeez, don’t  you care about world peace? Or maybe I’m pondering some of life’s great mysteries. But, fine, since you asked, I will tell you some of the things I’ve been thinking about lately. You asked for it.

How many magicians are there in Afghanistan? I’ve thought long and hard about this. I don’t have an exact number but there are definitely some magicians in Afghanistan, just not the kind I was thinking of. I was thinking more of the party trick slight of hand type of magician. What I discovered was the healing chanting kind of magician. I’m not going to delve too deeply into why I was wondering about this but suffice it to say it was an integral part in my plan for peace.

How many animals names start with H? I could only think of 3 off the top of my head but a quick Google search revealed dozens!! Yay animal kingdom! You never disappoint. My favorite one on the list was “Human” I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that straightaway. Think what an awesome school mascot the “Human” would be. Go Hartford Humans!!! My second favorite was the Hellbender which is a type of salamander with a LOT of attitude.

Is my loyalty to inanimate objects some form of insanity? The answer is probably yes so, I didn’t dig into this issue too deeply. I’m not looking to be that self-aware. But I really miss my car that was totaled in the accident and am feeling some very confusing and conflicting emotions about buying a new one. Can I love again? (A car, I mean.) Wow. Even I’m impressed with my own capability for the dramatic.

How likely is it that all my journals will survive for centuries? Because, I want to make sure that all of my thoughts and dreams and wishes and questions and rants stand the test of time. You’re welcome future generations. Apparently they need to be buried in a very dry climate. Road trip to New Mexico! I will expect gas money reimbursement future generations- also, try not to worship me as a deity.

So- those are some of the things I have been thinking about. You regret asking now, don’t you? You were warned. I actually might have done myself a favor by writing this post because now no one will ever ask me “What are you thinking?” again. (Gives self pat on the back)

9 thoughts on “You Want To Know What I’m Thinking? You Asked For It.

  1. Sometimes my friends tease me for blurting out random thoughts, then ask me questions to understand how I got there and why I felt it was important to share given the multitude of other things going on [ie: we saw a movie the other day and I pointed out how unsafe something was, when there were just so many important plot points happening in that moment that my concerns about a fictional scenario’s safety was pretty absurd.] I told one of them the other day, “Oh you don’t understand, that was like eighteen thoughts deep. The first ones were more relevant, but I censored all those, I just kind of ended up at the safety thing.”

  2. Ha ha as always crazy fun and hilarious. First I dont think I would want to go to a school with the mascot as a human. Yet I would love to be a hellbender. It just sounds so awesome!

  3. Lock me up and throw away the key! I’m one of those people that constantly ask what’s wrong or what are you thinking? But I honestly can’t control it, maybe it’s a sickness of some sort or a disorder. I can walk into a room and be thinking don’t ask what’s wrong or what are you thinkg and of course I never listen to myself! First sentence out of my mouth is “what’s wrong?” followed by ” so what are you thinking?”
    Crap, I need help.
    So that being said now what are you thinking?

  4. Sometimes, I really think you are in my head stealing my thoughts because your posts reflect what is/has been going on in my brain and it’s kind of disturbing. But good disturbing because it’s nice to see that I’m not alone.

    I once dated a guy that would constantly ask me what I was thinking. Despite answers like “What flavor ice cream I’m going to get later” or “It would really suck to be mauled by a bear” he kept asking. It got to the point where I would make up the most ridiculous things I could think of and thanks to my over active imagination it was a lot of fun. For me. Not so much for him but he still kept asking.

    1. You are definitely not alone! Although I might be stealing your thoughts….. If I had ever had a boyfriend that kept asking me what I was thinking then we would have lasted a total of maybe an hour before I broke up with him.

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