Letting Go Of The Let Down

Some of you might have noticed that I disappeared last week. On Friday February 4, I was in a very bad car accident. I won’t go into the details but  I would like to send a mental hug to the creators of the modern day  seat-belt (Roger W. Griswold and Hugh De Haven)  as well as the creators of the airbag (initially John W. Hetrick and then modernized by Allen K. Breed). So, I wasn’t here last week because I was recovering from my injuries- aka laying in bed somehow comatose and somehow high on pain meds. I’m going to be on crutches for a while. I’ve decided to name each of my crutches- the left one I call Franklin and the right one I call Brewster. I like first names that are last names.

Anyway- one of the results of this accident is that I have to postpone some very exciting changes I was planning for my life. And that’s disappointing. And my beloved car Germain was totaled. And that was really sad because I have loved that car unceasingly since it was presented to me when I turned 18 and we have been through a lot together. I feel like I lost a friend. There was just a lot of disappointment resulting from this accident. And it wasn’t anyone’s fault (unless you can blame Mother Nature and her icy blitzkrieg on the city of Austin) so I don’t have the satisfaction of being really mad at anyone. I just have to let go of the let down. So, that’s what I’m trying to do. And it’s gotten me thinking about other let downs in life that may seem less serious but are nonetheless disappointing and how I let them go.

When friends bail– I actually have assigned my friends bail-out percentages which is the percentage of likelihood that they will bail-out on our plans. It helps cushion the disappointment when they do bail on you.

When someone you have a crush on doesn’t have a crush on you– This is an easy one for me. I just keep my feelings to myself (i.e. Flirtation Failure) and then it’s just a matter of pretending to myself I never liked them anyway. It might be crazy. It might be unhealthy. But it works.

When the left-overs you’ve been looking forward to eating all day are gone when you get home– This is a tough one. When it happens to me, it’s difficult not to lash out at whomever ate my left-overs (just ask my sister). BUT- I now employ yoga breathing to calm down and then promptly begin trying to convince my stomach that it really wanted a grilled cheese anyway. The grilled cheese always tastes a bit like lost hope but it fills the belly.

When that new haircut just doesn’t look quite right– Headbands and bobby pins are lifesavers. And there is hope in knowing it will eventually grow out.

When you want to eat Mexican but everyone else you’re with wants Chinese– Hey, Chinese food is also delicious. This one is easily shrugged off. Besides, you can always eat Mexican food tomorrow.

When you really wanted that promotion and it went to someone else– This one hurts, I’m not going to lie. I like to curb my disappointment by making up hexes in my head and  directing them at the person who got the promotion. Unless they are like, a really good person. Then I just eat my feelings. Mmmm, emotional binge eating, the food tastes so good when it mixes with my tears…..

Unfortunately, none of these methods are very helpful in letting go my present let down so I’ve had to create a new method. It’s called “one day at a time” and basically it means I’m just going to deal with all of this one day at a time and hopefully I will get back to a place where I can plan big exciting future things. Fingers crossed.

How do you let go your let downs?

34 thoughts on “Letting Go Of The Let Down

  1. OMG! I was drawn to click here like it was a magnetic force or something.
    This post is something else.

    Life can really suck or let you down at one point but if everybody kept a cool head like you I’m sure they would get over their letdowns faster.

    You’re awesome!

  2. OMG, I can’t believe I missed this! *wonders what happened to her email notification*

    Onwards and upwards, thank goodness it wasn’t more serious. My husband was in an accident almost 5 years ago, we’re still waiting for the compensation and for him to be fit for work again. 😦

    All those plans you’ve had to postpone? Now you can make them bigger and better. Think positive thoughts, not easy I know, but you can do it.

    Sending positive vibes your way x

  3. I was wondering where you were, too. I’m so glad you are okay. I hope that you find a shiny, new and uber fabulous car to replace your beloved other car.

    Bobby pins and headbands can be a girl’s best friends. I also find a blanket is really to have by the door when you are bra-less and the pizza guy shows up. Just sayin’. 😉

    Feel better soon.

  4. thank god you are ok. recuperate at your own pace.

    oh, and the leftovers thing? Punishable by forcing the perpetrator to eat lima beans and gefilte fish.

  5. I was wondering where you were… so glad you are back!
    I think I am quite similar to you in the whole ‘letting go thing’ and I think that you actually deal with it all very well.
    I must say though I also had a car accident recently, It was my last day of work in fact, just before my month long summer holiday (mid December). It was my first major accident ever, but luckily I was not hurt at all, just a little whiplash.
    It’s very strange and scary thing, being in an accident and it sounds like it got me ‘thinking’ just like you. My biggest conclusion to the whole matter was letting life just be, allowing life to take me where it needs to take me. I think it was a wake up call for me to stop trying to control everything ie my feelings, my emotions, my needs – need to just let things be a little and as you said take it one day at a time.
    Also, after having an accident it can be quite scary driving again, so do it asap!

    PS regarding the crush thing… that’s just like me. I have recently made the biggest fool of myself in front of a definite ‘possibility’ of a guy that I’ve liked for a while and I cringe every time I think about my behaviour and I too have been telling myself all the reasons I never liked him anyway… so that’s me!

    1. That’s great advice- I know I have to drive soon but I have to admit I’m pretty scared. It’s also complicated by the fact I’m on crutches but my driving leg wasn’t injured so I know I just to get it over with. Thanks for sharing you story and for your well-wishes! Don’t worry about the crush, he wasn’t good enough for you anyway. 😉

  6. I’m so sorry to hear about your car accident. As far as let downs, I was lucky most of my life to not be let down that often. Maybe I just never allowed myself to get really excited about anything, always stayed pessimistic, so I was always pleasantly surprised when things weren’t as bad as I expected. I guess the biggest let down of my life was planning an entire wedding and then having to cancel it a few months before. The only way I could get over this was to just force it from my mind. To tell myself that there was nothing I could do about the situation, so I had to deal with it and rise above it. It was really hard, but that’s the only way I could get through.

    Take good care of yourself and I’m sending positive thoughts your way for a swift recovery!

    1. Thanks! I can’t imagine how hard your let down was- definitely more disappointing than losing left-overs. I think you dealt with it the right way though- I’m doing a little bit of that myself- just forcing it from my mind and trying to move forward.

  7. Sayrah says:

    Oh, I am so glad you are okay! I was really worried. I know that it’s totally unlike like you to just go away without notice.

    Please rest up. You’ll be back to new in no time, I know it!

  8. Ish! So sorry to hear about your car accident but glad to hear you are ok or on your way to being ok. I look forward to reading all about your adventures while searching for a new car. Best wishes for a fast recovery.

  9. Dude! I am so sorry. I feel so bad now. Cause i was like dang .. where is girl on the contrary? Here I was thinking you were slacking it.
    And you actually hurt!
    I feel horrible.
    And then as soon as your able you write …. god I am so glad your alright.
    Poor you.

    I love it that you name your car! Awesome name. My Tahoe is called Big Bertha

  10. I wondered where you went, and I am really sorry that I now know!! And hear I thought you had figured out that magical portal between us and the cool books you have been reading. This is by far, of the suck.

    You are saying that you have to put htings on hold… is that because of the accident or injuries or both? I hope you are not too hurt… financial hurt is bad, but physical hurt is generally harder to overcome.

    Dealing with dissapointment is kind of an oximoron. I generally think of it as coping with dissapointment, because dealing isn’t really in the cards at the moment it happens. It’s like the grilled cheese sandwich of life man… it’s cheesey, but it’s not the same.

    1. Physical and financial. It was a double whammy. But- I am dealing or coping (which I really do think is a better word for it) with it day by day. Also- I WISH I had discovered the portal between us and books, I’m still working on that one.

  11. Sabine says:

    I did notice you hadn’t been posting! I’m glad to hear you’re alright, and I hope you feel better soon. I was also on crutches for a while, and now I can’t believe I didn’t name them anything…

    About coping with let downs, I guess I just keep reminding myself there was nothing I could have done about it. Except for when someone eats the leftovers I had saved for later. That’s a tough one. There was one particular leftover-banana-bread incident I will never forget.

    Well, take your time to mourn your beloved Germain, and be sure you will have plenty of opportunities to put your plans to practice in the future! : )

  12. I am so sorry to hear about your accident (I wondered what had become of you!) but am glad to know you’re going to recover. And you WILL recover, and then you WILL start moving your life in the exciting new directions that you hope to.

    Also thanks for sharing how you deal with life’s little disappointments. When I’m done crying and praying, I find that hexes on exes are also a help. Punching a pillow helps when it’s really bad. For smaller things, putting on mood-lifting music… and eating something chocolaty both help me. But then, I like music and chocolate anyway.

  13. Ghetto_Philosopher says:

    I am glad that you survived your accident and that you are staying positive. Sorry about your car and that your plans were messed with. This whole ice storm sounds crazy. I live in California so I feel a bit guilty for having our weather here.

  14. MJ says:

    Sorry to hear about your accident and subsequent letdown. I’m glad you are alright and hope you heal quickly. I often get wrapped up in plans and details and when there’s a wrench thrown in them, I usually feel the letdown, but I try to look at the bigger picture and find I enjoy finding a new, creative plan to get my way anyway!

  15. Margaux Bejarano says:

    AWESOME TAKE ON LIFE. Thank you very much. I was just let go from a job that I deserve, but my supervisor (who I managed to prove before I walked out the door this morning) is dishonest, unprofessional, unorganized, has not delegation or communication skills, and just a downright BAD human being.

    Thanks for the pick me up.

    1. I’m so sorry to hear about your job. I’ve been there myself Try not let that awful person bring you down (even though I know that’s easier said than done). Try putting a mental hex on him- perhaps hex him with a painful and embarrassing STD. It won’t happen but it might make you feel better- it usually works for me. I’m so glad my post picked you up- I am sending you mental hugs and high-fives of encouragement.

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