In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you guys that I haven’t been practicing flirting. I am still a flirtation failure. I sort of smiled(ish) at a guy not too long ago if that counts for anything. No? It doesn’t? Oh. Ok.
So- I’m starting over at trying to be less of a complete and total goofball at flirting (and by goofball I mean coward). And now, I have more motivation than ever- a wedding in October that I have been instructed to “bring a +1….or else” I’m pretty sure the “or else” is one of the following options.
A) Taking care of drunk family members at the wedding
B) Being forced to sing “Single Ladies” at the wedding
C) Having to sit at the kids table and all the kids have boyfriends and girlfriends and then I have to admit I’m the “loser” at the kids table.
D) Being forced to watch movies about aliens until I pass out in fear and then when I wake up I realize that flirting isn’t nearly as scary. But that’s a really hard way to learn.
E) Be set-up on a blind wedding date. (Now that’s scary)
Obviously, I don’t want any of these things to happen. This gives me motivation to start flirting (shudder) and hopefully, fingers crossed, find myself a +1 to take to my friends wedding.
Ok- I have the motivation but what I’m lacking is the skills to make this happen. I mean, I can “practice” all day long but if I’m not doing the right things, then it’s sort of just reaffirming bad habits. What I need from you people is advice. I know I got a lot of flirting advice in my first Flirtation Failure but it was sort of overwhelming and mixed in was a lot of “Flirting is so easy, it’s like riding a bike” and I happen to be really scared of bike riding so that just confirmed my suspicion that flirting is actually terrifying. I need help. Sure, I need help on lot’s of things (i.e. the bike riding) but flirting help is priority right now because I have a deadline looming and even though I love singing “Single Ladies” in my car, I don’t fancy doing it at a wedding. Help me, readers of Girl on the Contrary, you’re my only hope!