I Don’t Understand You, But I Welcome You.

Welcome Mat
Please wipe your feet. I just cleaned this blog.

You know, I never get tired of the increasingly bizarre search terms that lead people to my website. So, thanks for that all you wonderfully odd people who have arrived at this place courtesy of the following search terms….

Why do people say I love you to strangers? Strangers need love too. How insensitive.

Nothing makes me happier than a ripe banana right into my favourite ear. I am so happy that you have found your bliss. Also- I can tell your probably British by the way you spelled “favourite”. You are one step closer to being revealed. I mean, how many British people can there be? I’ll look it up……oh. Fair enough. You win. Might I suggest buying a banana to celebrate? One question, why do you have a favourite ear? Don’t you think that might hurt the other ear’s feelings?

Kostas-pepi in love. Yay?

Is true love just once in a lifetime? Whoa. I’m happy you came here to find the answer but I’m afraid you were disappointed and left. Please come back. I don’t have an answer but I can totally hook you up with good music, good books, and lots of awkward stories. Also- we just met. How can I answer that question before we get to know one another? Give a girl a little time. You’re smothering me. I think we should take a break.

Things in life that don’t make sense. You, my friend, have come to the right place.

Will sparkly nail-polish attract barracudas. Vindication! Some people thought I was silly for wondering the same thing. But I wasn’t silly and I’m not alone. There are two other people worried about the same thing – or one person who searched for the same thing twice- or it might have been me. Who knows? Who can say for sure? Let’s just agree that this is a very reasonable question that deserves a scientific answer.

Ten ways to avoid awkward moments with girls. I can only think of one- avoid me at all costs. For the other nine you will have to go somewhere else because the longer you stay here the more awkward it’s going to get. Be ye warned.

I see accidental breast. If you are a twelve year old boy- congratulations. Otherwise….what the heck, congratulations!

I’m stalking a guy. Any search term you use to find this blog can be held against you in a court of law. Go into hiding. I’m pretty sure the cops are almost to your door. You better run! (Don’t forget to read my blog from your hideout. )

I know you’re thinking “oh no she didn’t” but I just totally did. I really like you. A lot.

Explanation for kissing someone. No explanations, no excuses. Take responsibility! Sheesh. Also, if there needs to be an explanation then you were probably doing it wrong or doing something wrong. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Trapped elevator bladder. Elevators have bladders!? And they are trapped?! Call the fire brigade!

Contrary or cross? Contrary, always contrary. Unless you keep asking me that question because then I’m probably going to get cross. (See what I did there?)

 

 

12 thoughts on “I Don’t Understand You, But I Welcome You.

  1. Canucks spell it favourite too. We like U’s after our O’s. Like in Colour 🙂

    I wondered the same thing about the nail polish, and while i was snorkelling I found my mail polish did attract little wee fishys. So why not big assed bad ones? I also thought that the Tuna were the baracudas though. All i saw was TEETH that was enough for me!

  2. craig78681 says:

    “You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

    I’ll see that and raise you a “When the goin’ gets tough, the tough get goin’.”

  3. Sabine says:

    I remember making a comment about never going into an elevator with a full bladder, maybe that caught someone’s attention?

    Or was it you that said that? No, I think you had written something about elevators being haunted by ghosts.

    Also, I think sparkly nail polish will definitely attract barracudas.

    1. Thanks. I for sure think barracudas are attracted to sparkly nail polish. I remembered what post that search term was referring to but I thought it was worded in such a funny way! I’m so glad that my posts and everyone’s comments attract these searches!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s