Things Not To Say At University Commencements


As I mentioned on Friday, my sister recently graduated from university. We had two ceremonies to attend, a special pinning ceremony for nurses and the main graduation ceremony. This gave me plenty of time to think of inappropriate things to say when people’s name were called. Usually, you just cheer loudly, clap, and blow your vuvuzelas but I do like to make my own fun. This is what I came up with.

Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!

4.0? So what?  He was a music major.

That’s my baby daddy!

Who dressed you? The grim reaper?? (You know, because of the black graduation robes…..)


They let him graduate?

She cheated!

He slept with my best friend!

Who are you kidding in those hooker heels???

If he got a degree in business then he must have majored in the business of smoking weed. (Bazinga)

Basically, I was giggling to myself the entire graduation. Except when they called my sister’s name and I tried to whistle but I was too choked up and no sound came out.

What are some of your favorite things not to say at university commencements??


2 thoughts on “Things Not To Say At University Commencements

  1. I seem to remember someone saying, “Hey, why isn’t my diploma signed?”
    btw Girl, you should stop over my site where we’re having the end of year repost of your favorite post from the past year that you wish more people new about. Take care.

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