Avoiding Thanksgiving Controversy

Simpsons Thanksgiving

We are having close to 40 people over to our house for Thanksgiving. And it just so happens that there are a lot of, how shall we say…, “strong personalities” that are coming. Needless to say, things can get controversial. In order to avoid being part of the massive argument controversy I have created a list of responses to questions that lead to murder controversy. Please feel free to use these at your Thanksgiving if things get…..controversial.

Argument causing question: So, what do you think about the President?

Answer: Yes, I really did enjoy Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1. Thanks for asking.

Argument causing question: How do you feel about Healthcare?

Answer: Did you know really cold things, like liquid nitrogen, can actually burn you? Imagine getting burned by something that was freezing? What’s up with that?

Argument causing question: What do you make of Sarah Palin?

Answer: Did I ever tell you about the time I spilled pineapple juice on my laptop? Funny story.

Argument causing question: How do you feel about [insert any religious subject here]?

Answer: You know, I really feel like grown-up cereals should have prizes in them too. Don’t you?

Argument causing question: What do you think about immigration?

Answer: I think I’m going to immigrate over to the dessert table- yum!

Argument causing question: Who did you vote for?

Answer: I was thinking about owls the other day. What do you think, most undervalued animal ever?

Argument causing question: So, when are you going to get married and start having babies?

Answer: Do you ever think about the word “tissue”? It’s a weird word. Sounds almost like a sneeze. And you use one after you sneeze. Think about that.

I hope you found these dangerous conversation diverters useful. They can be used on any major holiday when families gather.

Happy Thanksgiving! And for those of you not from the US- I just wish you very happy.  I won’t be posting Thursday or Friday (because I will most likely be in some type of coma). I am so thankful for each and every one of you who read and comment on this blog!

16 thoughts on “Avoiding Thanksgiving Controversy

  1. … if they dont get me committed . that sounds like a person who is way out touch with reality. I see it working tho; people will dismiss you as super drunk or super spacy, or get the h3ll away from you before you complete your meltdown…

  2. Bethany says:

    Thank you so much for posting these as I have been spending countless hours these past few days trying to find ways to dodge all controversial questions!

    I am also a big fan of complete withdrawal into a small, dark corner with an alcoholic beverage. By the time someone finds me, I am rocking back and forth and humming very loudly to myself.

    Enjoy your coma….er….I mean, Thanksgiving!

  3. OpentoAdventure says:

    Those are excellent responses to some very common controversies! I hope that this year you don’t have to use any of them – or that you do and that they work a treat!

    Enjoy your break; I for one am thankful for you and your brilliant blog! 🙂

  4. Brilliant answers! They are all thought-provoking and interesting enough to distract any of the argument-causers at the table.

    I don’t know if I’ll have any occasion to use these in the near future, but if I do, you may rest assured I’ll send you royalties.

    Happy controversy-free coma-inducing Thanksgiving!

  5. sabine says:

    So families are like that over there too? People are really… controversial everywhere.

    The part about migrating to the dessert table, that was a GREAT one. I’ll try to come up with more come backs that turn the question around like that.

    And the part about getting married and having babies. Oh, man. I’m married, but don’t want any babies. I think I’ll just not answer the question. You know, I’ll just snicker, like it was a joke.

    Like this: http://www.tvcert.com/second/player.swf?config=http://www.tvcert.com/second/conf_embed.php?vkey=72883

    1. Somehow, when families get together controversy is present. Especially my family. I like the idea of just laughing- in fact, I might just cackle like a mad person until the rude questioner just walks away.

  6. Comment: I can’t believe Aunt So-and-So took Grandma’s good china…the nerve of that woman!

    Response: (bowing head quietly) Oh, I’m sorry…I was just speaking to God…we’re having a long conversation on how to save my soul from eternal damnation and Hellfire…be with you in a second!

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