I Know This Is My Fault But….

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Because I am a blogger who totally stalks their stats, I’ve been perusing the search terms people have used to find this blog in the past few weeks. I know I’ve blogged about this before but it never fails to disappoint me. I know that it’s my fault these terms lead people to my blog but….still……some of these are kind of weird

“Made you look.” Umm….no you didn’t. Also, what? When did I say that? And, who is Googling that? This one has more questions than answers.

“Dinosaur scaring someone ” Uh, yeah, they scare people all the time. They are scary. After I thought about this for a while I got a little scared that someone had a youtube video of me cowering and crying while watching Jurassic Park. Luckily, I was wrong.

“Walking into office.” Yes, I do that Monday-Friday. All the same, how do you end up on this blog with that search term? Unless you mean like walking into the wall of the office and hitting  your face. But that didn’t happen to me. Really.

“How to tell if your friend is being a douche.” They are being a douche. Don’t waste your time Googling for an answer. Also, I’ve never once written a post about my friends being douchey. Only their boyfriends.

“Scroll saw pattern girl name” Contact a doctor immediately because you are having a stroke. Or perhaps you are having a very bizarre acid trip. Either way, a doctor is what’s called for. I’m just a blogger, I can’t help you with serious medical issues such as these.

“Fall down.” You fall down. I’m not falling down. Oops, I just fell down. Touche.

“Guy at Starbucks today Texas.” He’s cute right? You should stalk him.

“Can a man use a women’s restroom?” No, no he can’t. That’s my final word on the matter.

“I crave hugs.” Me too! But only in the way Care Bears crave hugs- not in the pathetic way. I’m sure you aren’t pathetic either. Neither of us is pathetic. There, that’s settled.

“Preventing awkward moments.” The only way I prevent them is by living them and then telling you the cautionary tales. You’re welcome.

“Hugs cure.” Yes, they do. Unfortunately for me, no one would hug me when I had the plague so I had to resort to antibiotics.

“What is on my closet eats my clothes?” Duh. It’s a monster. Or a ghost. Or like moths. Oh! It’s probably definitely, a million moth ghosts. You should see a paranormal expert about that. I can only help you identify the problem, they can help you solve it.

“Ghosts and elevators.” I’m glad someone else sees the connection. Welcome friend.

“Sass your pants off.” Oh yes I will. You’ve been warned.

“Is is a compliment to be called cool?” If you don’t know then you probably aren’t cool. It’s okay, you’re among friends here.

“What to do calculator is Dad say maybe to do something and Mom say no.” I’m not a calculator so I probably can’t help you. Also, I don’t think a calculator can help you. Consulting your Ouija board might be a better option because ghosts know lots of stuff. Also, you may be having a stroke or a bad acid trip. Ask you Ouija board if you should call a doctor.

“Make a car out of letters.” Boy, would I like to see that. You’ve got the right idea friend. I hope you weren’t disappointed that that search term lead you to this blog where I have never ever talked about making a car out of letters.

“Wonder woman.” I get that a lot. I mean, if you consider a lot to mean never. Which I do. Because I’m contrary. Hence the blog.

I don’t know why some of these terms lead you here. It makes absolutely no sense to me- which is probably why I like it so much. I guess we all have to trust the great and mighty Google (which is really just a guy behind a curtain with a bunch of smoke, code, and sound machines- true story).

8 thoughts on “I Know This Is My Fault But….

  1. Great blog! and I know exactly how you feel–ever since I added one post–ONE POST–mentioning Nigella Lawson, searches involving Nigella Lawson make up the majority of the terms people search when they find me. I don’t even like Nigella Lawson.

    I’ve menioned her three times now in your comments, so your blog will probably come up right alongside mine from now on. 😉

    1. I can live with Nigella Lawson being a search term- but everyone should be prepared to be really disappointed in my blog because not only will I not talk about cooking, I pretty much lose all common sense once I step into a kitchen.

  2. Why wouldn’t you stalk your blogs?!?!
    You’re a blogger! Don’t apologize for this!
    Its nice to know though I can find you if I google :“Can a man use a women’s restroom?”

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