For Real Things I Have Recently Googled. This Is Not A Joke.

Google Giant
I shouldn't be allowed to Google.

1. Is there a Subway sandwich in Africa? I don’t even remember why I did this. I just know I did. Also, there is a Subway sandwich in Africa. In fact, South Africa has 13 of them. I bet this is a Jeopardy question. If anyone who reads this blog wins Jeopardy off of this question then I get half of whatever you win. It’s only right.

2. Best pumpkin desserts. Who wouldn’t want to know this?

3. Mumford and Sons Stubbs Austin. Tragically, all of the tickets are sold out. My heart breaks.

4. Can you add Google Alerts to your Google Alerts? The answer is yes. And just so you know, when I googled this, a wormhole was created. The universe is probably doomed. Sorry.

5. Plague symptoms. I was pretty sure I had it. Science was in my favor- all the symptoms I had pointed to plague. Sure, the symptoms I didn’t have pointed not to plague but I like to always focus on the positive. Long story short, the Plague and an ear and sinus infection can be easily confused. Seriously. It could have happened to anyone.

6. Fear of dinosaurs. Also known as Ornithoscelidaphobia. Yep. It’s a real thing and I’m not the only one who has it. In fact, loads of people have it. It’s completely normal. Really. It’s normal. Why are you looking at me like that?

7. What is a boysenberry? I knew it was a berry but I had no idea what it looked like. Also, as it turns out, it’s a hybrid berry, so it must be good for the environment.

8. What should my rap name be? I have mad rapping skills. So, I decided I needed a good name in order to release an album. Here are the options I was given: GC Deja Glide, GC Baddie Kid, Tiny Rhythm Girl,  Girl C-Note Face, Serious Fresh Girl, Girl C Trixx, GC Triple Tripp, and Young G. I think I will probably go with GC Baddie Kidd or Girl C-Note Face. What do you think? The only one I hate is Tiny Rhythm Girl because you know my rhythms are anything but tiny! Holla.

9. Black snakes in Texas. Because there was one in my garage yesterday. True story. And I don’t live in the country. I live in a city. And yet, somehow, there was a black snake in my garage yesterday. No word yet on whether or not it’s poisonous. I bet it is.

I could have put 10 things but I didn’t want to be cliche. Lists with 10 things are so dull. What have you been Googling lately? (Keep the porn to yourself)

9 thoughts on “For Real Things I Have Recently Googled. This Is Not A Joke.

  1. Haha, loved this post. Some of my past Googles:
    “spider dating” someone asked me if I’d ever heard of spider dating, after I mentioned I got bit by a spider (and my mom has been warning me that maybe the spider layed eggs in my finger. Nice, mom).
    “Philadelphia cheese cake bars” because damn, I had a craving. And they were discontinued.
    “bumble bee costume” because I wanted to be a bumble bee (all of a sudden) for Halloween
    “sexy bumble bee costume” um, because I then decided I didn’t just want to be a bumble bee. I wanted to be a sexy bumble bee.

  2. I googled two things actually: i wondered if I was dying cause my cramps were so severe. So I put “Dying from cramps”.
    The other thing I asked was how long does it take a toe nail to fall off. I am suffering from the plague of the toe due to the garage door shutting on it.
    Gotta love google. Who ever takes care of google is probably a psychotic genius!

      1. Apparently you can go crazy from cramp pain but no reports of dying. A toe nail falling off anywhere between anyway from 7 to 15 days from injury. It actually sounds more like I am waiting for mail.

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