Awkward Moments To Avoid

Awkward

1. If you went to a public restroom and then bent over to make sure no one was in any of the stalls (because you’re pee shy) and then just when you where looking someone who was in one of the stalls was bending over to look at the feet of the person who just walked in and you just sort of met face to face. I bet that would be awkward.

2. If you were more invested in Dancing with the Stars than your Grandmother and then you called her to talk about it and she was like “You need to reevaluate your life.” I bet that would be awkward.

3. If you went to a restaurant and then spent the whole time talking really badly about your friends ex-boyfriend who you never met and then he turned out to be your waiter. I bet that would be awkward.

4. If you were at the grocery store and were reaching for the last banana but at the same time a chimpanzee was reaching for the banana I bet that would be awkward because by all rights of nature- you should let the chimpanzee have it but also, why would a chimpanzee be in a grocery store? I bet that would be awkward.

5. If you were talking to a baby in a baby voice and then the baby responded in a grown-up voice. I bet that would be awkward.

6. If you sneezed at the exact same time as someone next to you. Who says “bless you” first? It’s like a nasal version of chicken. I bet that would be awkward.

7. If someone asked you not to blog about them at the exact moment you were blogging about them. I bet that would be awkward.

Life is awkward enough. Take my advice and avoid these situations at all costs. You’re welcome.

15 thoughts on “Awkward Moments To Avoid

  1. If you sneeze at exactly the same moment as the person next to you I think that each of you would probably only hear your own sneeze, so you wouldn’t know you needed to say anything. This would avoid the awkwardness but you might both be a little put out that the other hadn’t blessed you I suppose. Oh, there’s just no way to resolve this!

  2. 7. If someone asked you not to blog about them at the exact moment you were blogging about them. I bet that would be awkward.

    This is definitely awkward. What happens to me a lot, is I’m in a situation or a conversation with someone, and I’m already mapping out how I’m going to blog about it in my head. This would be an awesome story to tell! And then they say, “You aren’t going to blog about this, are you???” with just disgust for my blog and my consistent oversharing. “Of course not… I know better than that. I have boundaries!” I say. (not)

    1. I know! I find myself turning a lot of my conversations into blogs and then wondering later if I am crossing a line. I’m still not sure. It’s awkward but I try my best to disguise who it is- also a lot of my friends I blog about don’t even read my blog so I feel somehow justified.

  3. So I’m blabbing away on the phone, telling a tech. guy all about the problem I’ve been having with my phone, going on and on until I’ve contentedly told him the entire hoo-ha and just said, “So what do you think?”, when my call-waiting button alerts me that I have another call. I look, and I see it is my local phone provider.

    “Sorry about accidentally hanging up on you,” he says. “Do you want to tell me about the problem you are having?”

    Awkward.

  4. I never check under the stalls to see if they are empty – but after reading this hilarity, I am kind of tempted to start. At least I would know exactly what I did to make this moment awkward , as opposed to most of my other life experiences.

  5. I try not to go with the norm. So if I was reaching for the last banana and so was a chimp. All bets are off. Its Battles Wars with the Chimp at the fruit section at the grocery store.

    Afterwards, then, it would be awkward. Especially if he kicked my ass!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s