Somehow in the course of a conversation with a good friend (who has now been demoted to being “that guy”) I was called a hopeless, pitiful, discount prostitute. Let me explain….
Hopeless. Apparently if everything anyone says immediately reminds you of something lyrical or literary you are hopeless. This came about when we were discussing hip replacements and the first two things that came to my mind were “Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira and “Hip Hop Hooray—- Ho Hey—- Ho” from that rap song I can’t remember the name of. I was singing these all day. Also, I may have begun a rendition of “Defying Gravity” from Wicked for no reason whatsoever other than I love that song. And then I couldn’t stop thinking about the book. All of this makes me hopeless. This is a lesson I learned today.
Pitiful- I don’t mind going to the movies by myself. That makes me pitiful. I didn’t know that. I thought I was just being independent and not letting my solitary status hold me back from doing things I want to do. “If I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free” -oops there I go being hopeless again. Back to being pitiful, I don’t really think I am. Although I guess people who see me at movies by myself think I am. Apparently. This was all news to me.
Discount Prostitute- I don’t like expensive dates. According to “that guy” formerly “good friend” this makes me a discount prostitute. Except I don’t really think it does. At all. Also, I don’t think he actually said this as much as implied it. He didn’t actually call me a discount prostitute but it felt like he did. It felt like he was judging me with judging eyes and thinking very poorly of my character. Except he wasn’t. I may be being a bit dramatic. Especially because I asked him if he was calling me a discount prostitute and he was appalled I thought that. I was appalled he didn’t realize that saying “she’s cheap” could easily be mistaken for “she’s a discount prostitute”. Anyway, I probably shouldn’t hold this one against him. But I’m pretty sure he meant it the way I took it even if he didn’t know he meant it that way.
Begrudgingly, I am letting him off the hook for “discount prostitute” because I have a very generous and forgiving heart. However, “pititful” and “hopeless” will still be held against him. Because I’m not those things. Except this was kind of the highlight conversation of my day so maybe I am pitiful and hopeless. Alas.