So, it seems that I have developed a bad habit of verbalizing my constant and ever-flowing stream of consciousness into my conversations with people. I’m pretty sure that while sometimes this can be funny mostly it is annoying. Please accept this blog post as an apology (the title of this post should make it clear to those whom I am apologizing to).
So, in an effort to be less annoying in conversation I thought I might get a little of my typical stream of consciousness out in this blog. You are welcome, or, I sincerely apologize, depending on how you feel. Also, my stream of consciousness is more like the river Nile than a stream. You’ve been warned.
The following is an approximation of the thoughts I was having when I went to dinner with my dear friends last Friday and ate some really fresh mango.
They really look pretty tonight. I wonder if she made that dress or bought it. She is so good at sewing. Should I sew? Can I sew? Do I have the attention span needed to sew? I wonder if I have ADD. Probably not. I might have had more trouble in school if I had it. Is there late-onset ADD? Because I might have that. I wonder how many people go without being diagnosed with diseases they actually have? I bet lots. Lots and lots of sick people who don’t know it. That would be awful. I hope I don’t have a disease I don’t know about. Oh great, now I sound like my Grammy. What did she just say? I’m going to need to take a bite of her dessert. This dinner was so good. I could die happy with a meal like this. I don’t really want to die though. Just a thought. Why did I qualify it was “just a thought” to myself? I know it’s a thought I freaking thought it. Something is definitely wrong with my brain. Yum, this mango is really fresh. Oops, I just said “that mango is really fresh” out loud and interrupted her story. I’m a jerk. You know who else is a jerk? That guy I saw texting and driving on the way here. Way to put other people in danger douche bag. I can’t believe I got lost on the way here- I’ve been here before. I am getting really sick of my directionally challenged ways. Also, why do I only have a hard time getting around the USA? I never once have gotten lost in East Africa or Europe. Ok, there was that 1 time in Ireland I apparently got on the wrong bus. Although I still think it was the right bus and I should have just asked but I was too humiliated and then I just ended up getting off in some neighborhood and walking around like I knew where I was going. Then I found a cab and just barely had enough money for him to take me to my hotel. I’m so embarrassed. Man, the Chinese food at that hotel was amazing though. I haven’t had Chinese food in a while. This place is probably some of the best Mexican food I have ever had. I’m glad she picked this place. I should come here more often. There was a Hey Cupcake on the way here, I should stop by there later. Those cupcakes are so delicious. I wonder how early they have to get up? I dread waking up early. It’s not that I sleep late, I just don’t like having to get up. I should start working out more though. I miss my daily yoga. Why did I stop? I wonder if it would help my mood at work? Maybe I should try that. I’m so glad it’s a long weekend. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to lay around and watch trashy television and write blog posts. Do I have enough blog ideas for next week? I don’t want to have a bad week, my stats have dropped enough as it is. I hope people aren’t getting bored with my writing. I really need to focus on my book. How am I ever going to get published if I don’t finish it? I’m a failure. No, I’m not a failure, think positive. Ok, time to pay the check.
This is only about a quarter of the things I thought. And I was having a conversation the whole time (although admittedly it was punctuated by some of these thoughts on accident). I would say this is a pretty impressive feat of multi-tasking. Only, I wasn’t really getting anything done.
Sorry to my two beautiful friends! I will really try not to let this happen again. But it might.