I’ve undertaken an important and dangerous mission- cleaning out my closet. I might not survive it but I hope you will carry the stories of my heroism in cleaning to future generations. It’s a toss-up how this will kill me. Either I will suffocate in an avalanche of clothes or I will commit suicide from the guilt I feel in giving them away. Let me explain.
I believe we have covered how I often associate people feelings with inanimate objects. This is called “personification”. It doesn’t really matter what it’s called but I really like the word “personification” so there you go. Anyway, I sometimes feel that things that most likely (although no one has really proven this to me) don’t have feelings actually do have feelings. For example, I never slept with any of my stuffed animals as a child. Why? Because there really wasn’t room for all of them and I didn’t want to hurt any of their feelings in not including them. That is a true story. Another example is, I always alternate reading fiction and non-fiction, that way I don’t feel like I’m placing one over the other and therefore insulting one. This is just my way.
So, now it is definitely time to clean out my closet, and I am having a bit of a hard time letting go of my clothes and shoes. Not because I would still wear any of them- because I don’t want them to think I never loved them. Really. This isn’t even a joke- this is my real life. I just start to think back on all the good memories I had in those clothes or in those shoes and it makes me feel very sentimental towards them. And then I start to think about how I would feel if after years of being there for someone they just dumped me and sent me to live with someone else. I would be devastated. Just completely heartbroken. How can I inflict that type of pain on my cherished (though now very ill-fitting) clothes and shoes?? What kind of a monster am I?
Then, I take a deep breath and try to rationalize my way out of this (which takes a lot of effort). I can’t quite get myself to a point of not feeling like I’m hurting their feelings but I definitely talked myself into “re-purposing” them. Like maybe I am helping them find a new lease on life because they will probably be going to new homes that will love them and wear them more often. These clothes might actually have a higher calling than belonging to me. They might even change someone else’s life. Maybe. Yeah, I think that could happen. So, really what I am doing is a good thing. And though they might feel the prickly sting of rejection for a minute they will soon rediscover the joy of belonging to someone who will actually wear them. The guilt is slowly receding.
I think I have actually talked myself out of my completely unnecessary guilt. Ok, I am now prepared to let these clothes go and even if they keep giving me a guilt-trip I really think I can handle it. Probably.