Tastes Like Murder. A Typical Day at the Office.

I opened the refrigerator at my office today. It smelled like something had been brutally murdered in it. It was beyond retch worthy. Not only was I afraid something would jump out of the fridge and then brutally murder me to replenish the smell- I was mostly worried about the drink I had left in it yesterday. The opened drink that I was pretty sure would now taste like murder.

Now, at this point, most people would probably just throw away that drink. Not I. I chose to trepidatiously sip at my day-old-cooled-by-a-murder-smelling-refrigerator beverage. Luckily for me, it did not taste like murder. It tasted just like the mixed berries it should have. Boy, was I relieved. Also, afterwards, I had to wonder why I had chosen to take a sip, sure it worked out alright in the end but that could have been the most disgusting of beverage disasters. Why in the world, did I take the chance?

I don’t really have an answer but I do know one thing. Someone in my office is responsible for that foul stench. Of course, when cornered and mercilessly interrogated, no one would admit their wrong-doing (or at the very least forgetfulness). There are only a few plausible conclusions to draw from this.

1. Someone at my workplace is trying, unsuccessfully, to kill me via my sense of smell.

2. There is actually some type of hob-goblin living in that refrigerator that is invisible and is brutally murdering things and then making them invisible and then letting them rot for the joy of seeing the office’s disgusted faces. (I heard somewhere that hob-goblins get the most joy out of making people disgusted).

3. There are vampires working here and they accidently left their bottles of blood opened in the fridge and now they don’t want anyone to know it was them because their super secret vampire identities would be revealed.

4. There isn’t a smell at all and I have a massive brain tumor that is making me smell things that don’t exist.

Those are the only logical conclusions I have come to. Don’t even get me started on the improbable scenarios I have concocted for the source of the smell (suffice it to say one of them involves time travel). Anyway you look at it, I’m not sure my workplace is safe anymore.

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