Are We Still Friends If I’m Not On Facebook?

These are the things I’m pondering when I should be working….

1. Will J.K. Rowling ever write another Harry Potter book? Because I know she said she wouldn’t, but it would really mean a lot to me. I need another magical adventure in my life.

2. Why can’t more restaurants deliver? I think it would be big business for them because as someone who occasionally wants to order and eat enough food for 3 people, I don’t really want to eat in your restaurant and be stared at like a circus freak nor do I want to drive to your restaurant, pick-up my food, and have to lie about how many pieces of silverware I need (the answer is 1 but I will go to my grave saying 3). So, please, just get a delivery service, I know there are others people like me out there who would take advantage of it. But, hey, if you don’t want to make money that’s your business.

3. Why is it that online dating commercials make me feel judged? They just look at you from the screen with those smiles on their face and their arms around their match and their eyes say “What are you doing to meet the love of your life?” Or maybe I’m just being silly.

4. Are we still friends if I’m not on Facebook anymore? This, I think, is going to be the question of my generation.

5. When did text messaging become an acceptable way of asking someone out? I actually know the answer to this one, it isn’t nor will it ever be an acceptable way of asking someone out. Cowards. You deserve more effort my friends.

6. Why do some women get so upset when a man opens a door for them? Let’s be clear, I am a feminist. Like, a big one. But if a  man wants to open a door for me, then I let him. I don’t feel offended, I know I could open that door for myself and I’m sure he knows that if he wasn’t there I wouldn’t just stand outside the door waiting for someone to come along, he knows that I could open that door for myself. Seriously, I could open the hell out of that door. But if he wants to then I let him go right ahead, and I won’t get mad either, my arms are a little tired anyway.

7. Why in the world are there florescent lights everywhere I go? Honestly, I don’t need to see myself like that and I certainly don’t want other people to. Soft lighting folks. We all could use a little more soft lighting.

Those are just some things that I was thinking about today. I guess it would have made more sense to just have 5 questions or 10 but keep in mind, I am a girl on the contrary.

2 thoughts on “Are We Still Friends If I’m Not On Facebook?

  1. Ghetto_Philosopher says:

    Why does this post not have more comments? It’s genius. I mean I discovered it from the post about your grandma but I am shocked, shocked that it has no comments. It’s pure gold. Few responses:

    Text messaging should be an acceptable way to ask someone out. I get your point about the effort, really I do and I agree that you and most women deserve the effort. However, asking someone out is nerve racking enough as it is. Dudes should be allowed to do it however they want. Besides, if a girl is feeling a guy, they will say yes regardless of how the guy asks. If you want to say yes, you will even if he asks by carrier pigeon or smoke signal. And more restaurants should definitely deliver. Thai food delivery would definitely be great right now.

    1. Carrier pigeon would be the best way to get asked out ever. Smoke signals is also good. I can’t be sold on the texting thing although you are definitely right in saying that a girl will say yes no matter what if she likes a guy.

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