Basically, this week is going to be nothing but Grammy posts because we went on a road-trip last weekend and it was like hitting the blogging jackpot.
Grammy: When I was 5 I had my tonsils out but later they grew back.
Me: No. They didn’t.
Grammy: Oh yes they did! Ask my Doctor.
Me: I believe you have tonsils, I just don’t believe they were taken out and grew back. That would have been a medical miracle. Your doctors would have written papers about you. You would be the famous regenerating woman!
Grammy: Well, they did grow back.
Me: If that is true, and I’m not saying it is, then you are way more evolved than the rest of us. You can regenerate! Like a lizard’s tail.
Grammy: All I know is that I had my tonsils removed and now I have them, so they obviously grew back. You can ask Nana.
Me: Grammy, Nana is dead. What am I supposed to do? Get a ouija board and try and contact her?
Grammy: Nana would never talk to you through a ouija board!
Me: I think we’re at an impasse.
Grammy: I also had a floating kidney.
Me: What the what??!
Grammy: A floating kidney.
Me: Where did it float to?
Me: So, you really had a sinking kidney?
Grammy: You don’t believe me!
Me: I believe that you believe you.
Grammy: Wake up your sister! (My sister, an ICU nurse, was sleeping in the backseat)
Me: Sis! Is there such a thing as a floating kidney?
Sister: Ummmmmm, yes, I think so…..
Grammy: Put it in google!
Sister: Ok, just a sec…….yes, there is such a thing.
Me: Grammy thinks she had it.
Sister: No way. Grammy, you didn’t have a floating kidney.
Grammy: YES I DID! I had to wear a corset and everything.
Me: How old are you that they would use a corset to treat a medical condition???
Grammy: They did!
Sister: That’s not how you treat a floating kidney Grammy.
Grammy: Well fine, but I did. I know I did. Y’all don’t believe me but I DID. It got fixed when I had a baby.
Me: I’m just saying, that if this is all true, someone should write a book about you because you’re a wealth of medical miracles.
Grammy: You should! And then give me 10%.
Me: I’ll work on that.