Tag Archives: death

Nobody Takes Me Seriously

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Pouting Child Nobody Takes Seriously

When I hit my head, and feel really sure that if I go to sleep I won’t wake up because of a massive head bleed.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I tell people that David Muir is the love of my life.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When really bright lightening wakes me up in the night and I feel really sure that aliens have landed.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I know that I saw Rachel McAdams in the bathroom at Nobu in NYC.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I know that I could definitely talk someone out of murdering me.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I tell people that if Zach Braff just met me he would hire me as a writer and I would write hilarious TV shows for him.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I don’t have a doubt in my mind that the mob is somehow involved in everything.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I worry that every inanimate object that surrounds me might really have a brain and feelings.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When it’s important to me that both my shoes be tied at exactly the same level of tightness. No matter how long it takes.

Nobody takes me seriously.

When I write blog posts about nobody taking me seriously.

Nobody takes me seriously. And I LIKE it.

What Type Of Music Do Unicorns Listen To?

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Unicorn and Rainbow

Seriously, what type of music do unicorns listen to? I can only imagine it is beautiful and haunting. I want to hear it. I bet it’s really good and they probably pretend not to be real so we don’t steal their music. Selfish unicorns.

It’s like I have so many unanswered questions about things that are probably not real. I mean, there have to be answers.

I’m always thinking about what house I would be sorted into at Hogwarts. And I know there are supposed tests online that will tell you but I don’t want to find out that way. I want the sorting hat to sort me. Is that really asking to0 much?

Are we really sure Narnia isn’t real? Because C.S. Lewis did a pretty good job of convincing me it is real. Either he was just a really good writer or he was trying to tell the world about this beyond awesome place and everyone just thought he was insane and so they labeled his books “fiction” so as not to ruin his reputation. I really want Narnia to be real and then find a way to go there. Because I deserve it.

You might be wondering why I’m not asking any questions about Vampires or Werewolves. There are 2 answers to this question.

1. I am not a teenager.

2. Vampires drink blood and Werewolves maul you to death and then I think they eat you (although, admittedly, I’m not sure about that). I only want happy things to be real. Because although Twilight is very entertaining there are far more sources of vampire and werewolf brutality against humans. I have to go with the majority here- vampires and werewolves are scary.

And some people (Twilighters) might argue that Harry Potter was way scarier and a lot worse things happened in it because people actually died. And my response to that is, yeah of course people died, it’s real life. People die in real life. They don’t live eternally. Sheesh. And then all the Twlighters are like “Edward Forever!” and I’m like “He will always be Cedric Diggory to me” And they can’t argue because he was totally Cedric Diggory first. I believe I just won my argument. Also, Harry Potter was happy because good triumphed over evil. And I have to wonder what they are teaching in schools these days if kids don’t know that good triumphing over evil is happy.

And now I am really wondering why I wrote this post. Because it’s weird. And also I’m wondering if this is really a dream and that’s why this post is so bizarre and completely unnecessary. And now I’m wondering if it’s possible to write a blog post in a dream.

This list of questions regarding impossible things is getting really long….

Happy Friday!

Death Isn’t Interesting

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It’s what you do before death that is interesting.

Have you ever thought about your obituary? What would you want written about your life? How do you want people to remember you? I don’t find it macabre to consider this. I think it’s an interesting way to put your life into perspective, because when you think deeply about it, obituaries aren’t about deaths- they are about lives.

It is believed that obituaries began formally after the invention of the printing press. Before then, it was simply eulogies- the spoken word being the only way to commemorate the life of the deceased. When they first began, obituaries were simply factual accounts of death. It didn’t take too long, however, for obituaries to become poetic, lyrical, and thoughtfully worded accounts of a life, rather than accounts of a death.  Again, death is dull and life is interesting.

If you want to be remembered as generous- then give generously. If you want to be remembered as successful- then work hard to be successful. If you want to be remembered as compassionate- then always show compassion. You will be remembered for how you lived your life, so live it well. Live your life they way you want it to be remembered. Chances are you won’t be the one writing your obituary so you better make sure that your life now reflects the qualities and accomplishments you want to be remembered for then.

Think about your obituary- write one for yourself now- and think of it as a to-do list for your life.