Taking my cue from one of my most frequent ( and less fanciful) daydreams, I have begun working earnestly on my travel memoir (also known as my first book). The whole thing is written in my mind- when I daydream I do it in detail- it’s just a matter of taking it from my mind (and journal pages) and putting it on my computer. Of course, I also need to edit, organize, and take it out of stream of consciousness (lets be honest, that only worked well for Hemingway) and then voila, my very first book will be completed and the wild success can follow accordingly (ok- so there is still a fair amount of daydream in this…)
Unfortunately, I find myself somehow hitting walls with writing it. It’s not writer’s block, I know exactly what I want to write, it’s more along the lines of writer’s laziness. I have never thought of myself as lazy,never once been accused of laziness, but I’m not sure what else I could possibly call it, I literally don’t want to open my computer and type. The story is all there- and I can’t seem to force it into actualization, something concrete to send to publishers, and I’m not sure why. Psychological issue perhaps? Something like self-fulfilling prophecy, or fear of rejection. Probably not, I think it’s more about being afraid that once I actually attempt what I have been imagining for more years than I would admit, that I won’t be able to daydream about it anymore. Because if I am rejected by every publisher, then how can I possibly continue dreaming about a Pulitzer? I guess I just feel very protective over my dreams, which is kind of bizarre.
But, you know, I have a lot of daydreams. It certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world if I lost one to reality. There will, after all, always be plenty of things to occupy my imagination, and if I happened to get lucky and this dream were to end up being even better in reality than in my imagination, then it would have been worth all the worry and writing struggles. Aha. Excuse me, I have a book to finish………….