In an ongoing effort to overcome my admittedly absurd fear of dinosaurs I bought a dinosaur (specifically a stegosaurus) cookie cutter and made dinosaur cookies. Basically, this was my attempt to make dinosaurs ridiculous thereby stripping them of their fear-inducing power over me. Like a cookie based Riddikulus spell. This plan was a two-parter.
Part 1: Make yummy dinosaur cookies.
Part 2: Watch Jurassic Park and see if dinosaurs still scare me.
Take that, you non-violent herbivore!
The cookies were delicious and decorating a dinosaur with brightly colored sprinkles and pink icing definitely made it seem less scary but I think choosing an herbivore as my cookie cutter was a mistake. Because really, how much fear did stegosaurus’ really induce pre-sprinkle? Not much. I really should have chosen a T-Rex or Raptor because when I tried to watch Jurassic Park after baking, I found that those two still scare the rhymes-with-spit out of me. I didn’t make it through the movie. Not only did I not make it through the movie, I didn’t even make it through the first hour. The cookies tasted good though and were mighty helpful when I was eating my feelings of shame about not being able to watch a movie that most adults would consider only slightly scarier than Aladdin. (Jafar was really evil y’all, if I had known the term when I was 8, I would say he was a megalomaniac, but I stand by my description of him as a poopy-face.)
Although this little experiment was an overwhelmingly delicious failure, it did inspire me to coin the term SWA, which stands for “Spielberg Wins Again”. And it’s particularly relevant as I ‘ve recently read he’s eager to begin work on the fourth installation of Jurassic Park. SWA.
I love to bake. I’m a baking fiend and I usually make everything from scratch because I think it tastes best that way and also makes me feel more accomplished. There is nothing so satisfying as someone saying they like whatever you made and being able to say “Thanks, I made them from scratch.” It’s a pride issue.
But occasionally, I will make cookies from a box. Usually because I’m crunched for time or because I’m going to be putting a lot more effort in the decoration. And you know what? Those cookies always taste good. Sure, I don’t get to say “I made them from scratch.” but the compliments I get on how good they are still feel pretty great to hear. Although, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not always forthcoming with the “it came out of a box” confession. “Why not?”, you may ask. Well, because of incidents like this one.
Me: Look at this yummy peppermint chocolate mix I bought at the store today! They’re super fast and easy to make and taste great. We can take them to game night.
Cookie Shamer: (grimace) I’ve never had cookies out of a box before….(more grimacing)
Me: Oh. Ok.
At first I was shocked, then I was angry, then I forgot about it, then I got angry again. Those cookies are yummy gosh darnit and I don’t have all day to bake for game night. Sometimes, you have to take the quick route and if the quick route ends in tasty cookies then who the hell cares?! I will not allow myself to be cookie shamed! I bought box cookies, I’m going to make them in like 30 minutes, and they are going to taste wonderful! So there!
Anyway, I went and bought all the ingredients so I can make them from scratch. Apparently, I will allow myself to be cookie shamed.
Also, if you’re interested, I got the recipe for the cookies (and the image) from Sweet Pea’s Kitchen. It’s a delicious recipe!