So, I wasn’t going to blog this week because I’m totally spending all my time studying for the GRE (aka watching old episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer) but then a part of me thought “You lazy ass, you should at least do a thought on a Friday.” And then the nicer part of me said “Hey you. You’re great. You should do a thought EVERY DAY this week!” So, that’s what I’m doing because the part of me that called me a “lazy ass” hurt my feelings and I want to prove to it that I’m not lazy.
What I’m trying to say is my thought today is that we should all be nicer to ourselves.
At our house we call double-stuffed Oreos “breakfast Oreos”. Get on our level.
There is one thing that never fails to make me laugh – videos of little kids cursing. I don’t know what this says about me as a person, but at the very least, I think it means that I reinforce bad behavior as long as it’s funny. I foresee a lot of parent/teacher conferences in my future…..
I get that #YOLO is lame-o (If I don’t win an award for that turn of phrase then there is no justice in this world), but is it cool to say “you only live once”? Because that just seems like something good to keep in mind. Or did the youths ruin that too?
Every time I watch the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she kills Angel I just cry and cry and cry. Every. Time.
I am 1000% more productive on sunny days than I am on cloudy/rainy days.
On the other hand, I think I’m a better cook on rainy days than I am on sunny days.
You win some, you lose some amiright?
Why is it that people you have been waiting for all day (electricians, plumbers, cable workers, etc.) always knock on your door right when you start to go to the bathroom?
Is there some dark magic at play? Or is my bladder just a jerk who likes to play annoying pranks on me?
Every time something is on TV that makes me uncomfortable (which is so many things y’all) I run out of the room and/or cover my eyes and ears so as ot to have to witness it.
So, I guess my question is, WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN DOING THIS IN REAL LIFE SITUATIONS?? Consider this strategy implemented. If you are ever talking to me and I suddenly run out of the room, or close my eyes and cover my ears, it means you’ve done something to make me uncomfortable and should apologize to me immediately and also buy me some French fries.
Y’all, I think my laugh sounds just like Bellatrix Lestrange’s laugh.
This causes me great distress.
I try really hard to make sure that spam doesn’t get published in the comments because spam is something that should be eaten while vacationing in Hawaii, not something that should show up on your blog. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to respond to those comments, some are so ridiculous that I can’t help but want to respond because I enjoy laughing at robots. Unless the robots do eventually take over one day, in that case, I was totally laughing *with* them and not at them.
Spam comment: You really stick it to the media in this post! Your take is biting. [redacted link for Viagra]
My imaginary response: This post is about farts. I’m not really the biting type, I learned not to bite in kindergarten and it’s one of those lessons that really stuck with me.
Spam comment: This article is not as hard hitting as it could have been. I am enjoying every article.
My imaginary response: Mixed messages. Did I used to date you?
Spam comment: Buy gold jewelry from [redacted link]
My imaginary response: Your mother.
Wow. That felt good. Very cathartic. In your robotic faces spam machines!