I stayed in a hotel this week and while there, I had an idea. I decided to leave happy notes and pictures around the room for housekeeping to find when I left. I left things like, “Have a great day!” and “You’re the bee’s knees” and pictures of smiling faces and unicorns.
I thought it was nice. Then, I realized that it all probably ended up in the trash and basically all I did was murder trees and scribble on the dead bits.
Which just goes to show you one persons nice is another persons tree murder.
I haven’t blogged at all this week. And I just realized this yesterday.
Where have I been? Exactly where I was and no other place and I can’t say truer than that.
Also, I was in Nashville all of a sudden and unexpectedly. And I forgot my phone charger. So it goes.
But, I’m back again and will be here until I’m not. Like Dr. Who. Only less cool and time-travely.
All this is to say, I’m sorry I’ve neglected you. It will definitely happen again but I’ll be just as sorry then too, I promise.
I don’t care how cute people think it is, I have always found children speaking in unison chillingly.
A couple of weeks ago, I almost ran into Jack Black at the airport. Almost, but I caught myself in time. If it wasn’t for my damn cat-like reflexes, I would have had an awesome story about literally running into Jack Black.
Last week in my yoga class, my instructor advised us that while in downward dog we should feel our “anus blossoming”.
I’m not sure I want to be that good at yoga.
According to the lovable robot who lives in my blog – it’s my 4 year blogging anniversary today!!!
I totally forgot. Or, I had no clue. Either way, I think my blog is probably really pissed at me for not making a big deal of it. Sorry blog o’my life, I promise I will definitely remember next year. Probably.
Also, I looked up what the traditional gift for a 4th anniversary is, and found a site that said “Fruit/flowers, or if you are modern, appliances”. So, I’m going to buy myself some flowers today, because I have all the appliances I need, including a sno-cone maker.
Also, Also, THANK YOU PEEPS (by the by, I have decided to call you all “peeps” because…..you’re my peeps. Ok? Cool.) Y’all make my day every day and I am so thankful for you!!!!
Does it seem to anyone else like there is a Country Music Awards show about once a month? They are always on right? Or am I having a groundhog day experience but instead of a day, I keep reliving the same month?
For the last 30 days, the most popular search term to this here blog o’mine was “cotton candy”. This is the first time in the last couple of years that a search term other than “douche bag” was tops. This makes me very proud. I don’t know why and I have no idea (nor do I care to delve into) what mission it is that I have accomplished but I think it’s safe to say:
Mission accomplished y’all.
This isn’t so much my thought as it is a verbal exchange from The Simpson’s episode “Four Great Women and a Manicure”, which for the record, is one of my favorite Simpson’s episodes of all time even though lots of people apparently didn’t watch it and those who did hated it. Whatever, I downloaded it as soon as I could from iTunes and watch it again all the time, I’m contrarian like that. Perhaps a lot of my love for the episode stems from the following exchange:
(In a totally not copyright infringed upon retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
Lenny Dwarf: There’s someone in our house!
Crabby Dwarf: Let’s put a pickaxe in it’s brain!
Lenny Dwarf: You’re in marketing! Why do you even bring an axe?
Crabby Dwarf: If you were in marketing, you’d know.
I’m in marketing. I know. For some reason, laughing at that makes my day job somehow more bearable.
I got a nice long massage the other day and it became apparent to me about halfway through it that maybe I don’t know how to relax, because while I was supposed to be relaxing and basking in the zen of it all, I was compiling a list in my head of all the people I have disappointed in the last few years. That’s not relaxing right? Is it? I don’t even know.