So, I saw Godzilla last weekend and I LOVED IT. Which is confusing, because Godzilla is basically a dinosaur. And I am afraid of dinosaurs, right?
Except, I don’t think I am anymore. Or aliens.
Holy guacamole y’all. I think I’m growing up. My new fears are mercury poisoning and that my carbon monoxide detector will fail.
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?
I found a post in my drafts folder called “Get Thee To A Margarita!”
So…..that feels right. Let’s go with that.
Today is my birthday, and I have just one wish – that every one who reads this blog today gives someone a high-five.
That’s it. That’s all I want for my birthday – a world wide high-five movement.
Let’s do this.
Let me explain the genius of this plan to you. Everyone *already* high-fives so tomorrow, when I see people high-five it will most likely be unrelated to this post or my birthday, but I am going to think that it was all because of me and that is going to make my day super special. This is how you do a win/win y’all.
On Monday, I went to Pottermore.com for the first time. WHY HAVE I NOT DONE THIS BEFORE?
I received my wand (rowan with a unicorn hair core, 14 1/2 inches, slightly yielding) and was sorted into my house. I’m a Ravenclaw!
I am almost embarrassed by how happy this made me. Like, it felt like J.K. herself met me, and was like “Oh yeah. You’re a Ravenclaw.” which is just like the best thing ever.
Anyway, I guess my thought is: Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.
What Fraggle Rock would look like after the apocalypse…
Can anyone think of a good reason why I wrote this? Because I did. This and only this. A title and one sentence with ellipses at the end.
Also, is this a thing I should try and think out and like, write a script for? Is this a million dollar idea? It kind of feels like one in my gut. But, my gut is also really into that fake nacho cheese you get at football game concessions stands so I don’t know that we want to put a lot of stock in it.
I need a hobby. All the people I know, they do things. I don’t do things.
Here is a diagram describing what I’m talking about – because professionalism y’all. I take this shit seriously.
Any suggestions on what I should do? Keep in mind I’m not really good at anything that doesn’t involve ghosts, cotton candy, and the apocalypse.
About once a day, I take my phone and go to the bathroom at work. Not because I need to use the bathroom, but because that is about the only 5 minutes of peace I get all day at work and playing angry birds helps relieve some of my tension. I know every thinks I’m pooping, but I don’t care.
Once every couple of months, I look at myself in the mirror and think “I should have blue hair. I really want blue hair.”
I should just go for it, right?
I probably won’t though. But I totally should.
This is my 752nd blog post ever on this blog and Captain America opens in theaters today. Everything is coming up GotC y’all.
Ways we should all celebrate:
1. Go see Captain America and then talk about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
2. Wine popsicles.
4. Jazz hands.
5. Chili cheese burritos.
6. Do a dance that involves jazz hands after eating chili cheese burritos for dinner and having wine popsicles for dessert before going to see Captain America and then talking about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
I think y’all can guess which way I am celebrating…….
Welcome to Austin SXSW-ers! Please don’t move here, our traffic is bad enough.