About once a day, I take my phone and go to the bathroom at work. Not because I need to use the bathroom, but because that is about the only 5 minutes of peace I get all day at work and playing angry birds helps relieve some of my tension. I know every thinks I’m pooping, but I don’t care.
Once every couple of months, I look at myself in the mirror and think “I should have blue hair. I really want blue hair.”
I should just go for it, right?
I probably won’t though. But I totally should.
This is my 752nd blog post ever on this blog and Captain America opens in theaters today. Everything is coming up GotC y’all.
Ways we should all celebrate:
1. Go see Captain America and then talk about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
2. Wine popsicles.
4. Jazz hands.
5. Chili cheese burritos.
6. Do a dance that involves jazz hands after eating chili cheese burritos for dinner and having wine popsicles for dessert before going to see Captain America and then talking about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
I think y’all can guess which way I am celebrating…….
Welcome to Austin SXSW-ers! Please don’t move here, our traffic is bad enough.
My favorite and most successful coping mechanism is re-reading all 7 Harry Potter books.
I like the One Direction song “Story Of My Life”.
There, I said it.
I always get more anxious and paranoid around the full moon. Is werewolf personality disorder a thing?
Also, Happy Valentine’s Day! May it be werewolf free.
Over the last 2 months, this blog has received hundreds of visits from some interesting search questions. And while I can’t image why they were directed my way (Google and it’s ways are mysterious) I don’t think it would be right for me not to answer them. Just remember, you asked….
1. How to make box cookies taste homemade?
Make homemade cookies. That is literally the only way. Or you could just eat the boxed cookies and repeat in your head as you chew “these taste homemade” and maybe your brain will rewire or something.
2. He calls me baby, babe, and boo but we aren’t dating. What do I call him?
Frank. Unless his name is Frank, and which case you should call him Sailor. Unless he is a sailor named Frank, in which case you should call him Peanut. Unless he is an actual peanut named Frank who is a sailor, but I’m guessing the odds of that are pretty slim.
3. Ball busting by consent?
I don’t know what this is. My first guess is that it is some sort of form a man has to fill out before someone metaphorically busts his balls. Although that seems like a lot of paperwork. My second guess is this is some kind of sex-thing of which I am unaware. And I’m ok with that. Like, super ok with it.
I know lava is hot. I know it is. But every time I see lava on tv, I just want to stick my hands in and play with it.
Everytime I listen to a Backstreet Boys song, I feel like I’m betraying N’Sync.
And also, I’m like “Did I travel back in time to 1998?”