Try To Have A Bad Day After Seeing This

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This is a poodle DRIVING A CAR. I dare you to have a bad day after seeing this. You can’t. It is impossible. Bad days can not be had after looking at this. This photo (taken by me which is why it’s not great) is the ultimate cure for a bad day. It’s a smile inducing, giggle creating, euphoria machine of a picture.
Also, for the record, I don’t want you to try and have a bad day. I only want you to have happy days which is why I am posting this. I just said you should try to have a bad day for dramatic effect and to really underscore how happy this picture should make you. For the record, hand on my heart, for really reals I hope you have a happy day. And I also hope that dogs learn to drive at some point because I have a hunch it would make the world a better place. I haven’t worked out the details…it’s just a hunch. But like, a strong hunch.

Here Is A Thought On A Friday

UPDATE: I mistakenly posted this on a Thursday. I think that is proof positive that I need today to be Friday. Let’s just go with it shall we?

 

At noon on weekdays, two radio stations in Lincoln play 90s music. Yesterday, one was playing Spice Girls and the other was playing Bone Thugs N Harmony. Choosing between them was so hard, I actually started to sweat. #truestory

This Is A Thing I Love

Something I’ve noticed over the last few years of writing this blog is that when I tell people it’s a humor blog, they almost always tell me a joke in response. This is a thing I love.

Here is a joke someone just told me the other day upon learning I wrote a humor blog. It’s a slam on the Cornhuskers but it was told to me by a fan so I think it’s ok.

What does a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan do when his team has won the national championship?
He turns off his Playstation 3.

Boom. Let’s laugh more today y’all.

Here Is A Thought On A Friday

Dear Science,

Where are we with heated roads, freeways, streets, etc.? I can not possibly drive in the snow and ice any more. Can not do it. So, please please work on a solution for this. Right now. Well, actually work on cures for diseases first. Then the snow roads. And also clean water for everyone. And hunger, I don’t want anyone to be hungry. Ok, so cures for diseases, clean water, world hunger, THEN snow roads. And it’s ok if something more important that helps a lot more people comes up first as well. But then you have to deal with the snow roads ok?

Love you,
Girl on the Contrary

Ummmm….What?

Captain Thoughtful: I hope this show is like America’s Next Top Model.

Me: Ummmmm….what?

Captain Thoughtful: I hope it’s like Top Model.

Me: I still don’t understand. I just….I really don’t….what?

Captain Thoughtful: The show where they make the clothes and actually have skills.

Me: Oh! You mean Project Runway.

Captain Thoughtful : Sure. Whatever.

Me: This was weird.

You know that thing where someone you love says something so out of character that your brain can’t process it and it feels like you are in a surreal dream? I bet there is a German word for it. That is what this conversation was.

Don’t Let ESPN Fool You

Y’all. ESPN will try and trick you into thinking it’s only about sports and sport related news. While this might be technically true, do NOT let them fool you. Right in between showing a repeat of some college football bowl game and a new Big 12 basketball game, they will put in a segment about something really sweet and touching and you will start sobbing because it’s so sweet and who knew that ESPN would make you cry? You just wanted to watch basketball but now you have run out of tissues and your eyes are red and swollen and you can’t stop crying because of the precious kiddo with a life threatening illness that a college football team took under their wing and that kiddo has a huge smile on his face because he got to run in a touchdown and the whole team is crying and the kiddo is happy and WHERE ARE ALL THESE TEARS COMING FROM AND HOW DO YOU TURN THEM OFF???? Y’all, don’t let ESPN fool you like that.

You Know That Thing…

You know that thing where you realize you are talking too much, but you can’t seem to to stop yourself from talking, and then you just keep talking and talking and talking and in your head you keep telling yourself to shut up but somehow your mouth doesn’t get the message and then you start to panic because you realize how annoying it must be for the other person but you just keep talking and talking and talking? That thing happens to me all the time.