How To Cure Brain Mushiness

I took the GRE last Saturday and though I did well (Yay! Thanks for sending all the good luck peeps!) I had major brain mush afterwards. My brain, it was all a-mush. Luckily, I happen to know the cure for brain mush and in the interest of eradicating brain mush forever, I wanted to share it.  It is as follows:

1 big gulp sized glass of red wine (or whatever adult beverage you prefer)

1 large pizza of choice

12 hours of a Lord of the Rings movie marathon (Harry Potter movies will also work)

Voilà! You’re cured!

Here Is A Thought On A Monday

So, I wasn’t going to blog this week because I’m totally spending all my time studying for the GRE (aka watching old episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer) but then a part of me thought “You lazy ass, you should at least do a thought on a Friday.” And then the nicer part of me said “Hey you. You’re great. You should do a thought EVERY DAY this week!” So, that’s what I’m doing because the part of me that called me a “lazy ass” hurt my feelings and I want to prove to it that I’m not lazy.

What I’m trying to say is my thought today is that we should all be nicer to ourselves.

When Are You Going To Have A Baby?

Before I had Captain Thoughtful, I used to get asked “Do you have a boyfriend?” a lot. So, I came up with smart ass responses because that’s how I do. I thought my days of annoying questions was over but as the good Captain and I near our second anniversary we are being asked more and more frequently “When are you going to have a baby?”

You asked for it people. Warning: smart assery dead ahead!

- Well, as I understand it, the first step is having lots of unprotected sex. Then, his semen fertilizes my egg. Then, 9 months later a baby shoves it way out of my body in a pretty painful way. So, you see, it’s a multi-step process. These things take time.

- Can one ever “have” a baby? Or does the baby “have” you? Food for thought.

- Damn! I knew I forgot to pick something up at the store.

- I heard those are really expensive – will you be mailing me a check to cover those costs or do you have a literal boat filled with cash you are gifting me? I’m good with either.

- Do I not get issued one when I renew my passport? Is that not how it works? I’m sort of unclear on the specifics.

- We are just planning on adopting a successful 25 year old and calling it a job well done.

Here Is A Thought On A Friday

There is one thing that never fails to make me laugh – videos of little kids cursing. I don’t know what this says about me as a person, but at the very least, I think it means that I reinforce bad behavior as long as it’s funny. I foresee a lot of parent/teacher conferences in my future…..

 

Happy Halloween!

Too Bad I’m Not Taking O.W.L.S

I’ve been studying for the GRE and part of that includes learning some new vocabulary words, which I actually love doing because I’m a word nerd. Anyway, this word nerd was flipping through some vocab flash cards and I came across the word “enervate”. I threw it in the “know it” pile because obviously it has something to with awakening or enlivening someone because that is the spell used to revive someone who has been stunned as I read in Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire.

WRONG.

Enervate means to weaken or render feeble. At least that is what it means in reality. Clearly, it has a different meaning in the magical community. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I’m being tested on reality so I’m going to go with the flash cards on this one. On the plus side, I feel even more confident I could dominate O.W.L.S, which as a theoretical Ravenclaw feels good.

On the downside, I’m not taking O.W.L.S, I’m taking the GRE. But the silver-lining to that is that I will never forget what “enervate” means so really this was a win/win for me.