A couple days ago, I an AARP card in the mail. My first instinct was to be offended – how the hell did I get on their list? Can they see my Amazon purchases and just made an assumption that someone who buys old movies, ginko biloba, and fancy olive oil should be a member of AARP?
Then, I thought a bit more about it. Doesn’t an AARP card get you like a million discounts on things? Don’t I love discounts? Don’t I love coupons? Don’t I always try to make it to the early bird showing of movies? Aren’t I concerted about bone health and retirement and my investments?
I might be 29, but I AM AARP. Well played AARP, well played.
There are grapes that taste like cotton candy. They are called, unsurprisingly, cotton candy grapes. And I tried them and they DO taste like cotton candy, but they aren’t cotton candy, they are grapes.
What kind of magic is this?
Last night, Captain Thoughtful and I took a long walk because it has come to my attention that “Drinking a lot of red wine, but doing nothing else, will not prevent heart disease.” Whatever doc, just because you went to medical school doesn’t mean you get to tell my heart how to be healthy. The heart wants what it wants – which, in my case is red wine. Anyway, we’re on this walk and a Dad and his son are sitting on their front porch. The Dad says “Why don’t you say hi son?” and his son, this brilliant possibly psychic kid says “No. They’re weird.”
He’s not wrong folks.
Last week, Captain Thoughtful and I ate at a new restaurant. It’s not new in Lincoln, but we’ve never eaten there so it was new to us, which is pretty much every place in Lincoln since we just moved here. Anyway, I ordered a drink and it turned out to be a VERY large margarita. Like, way way larger than I thought it would be. Long story short, I got a little tipsy. So, I did what any 29 year old who get a little too tipsy at 5pm does.
I went home and took a nap.
Then, when I woke up, Captain Thoughtful and I watched a show about genealogy and then we went to bed.
I think I’m doing my late twenties wrong.
I keep my vitamins next to my margarita mix in the kitchen.
I’m not sure what this says about my dedication to healthy living, but I know if my vitamins are next to the margarita mix, I will remember to take them.
Unrelated question: Can you take vitamins with margaritas?
Here are my thoughts on life in Lincoln week 2. They are terribly interesting and quite possibly world (my world) changing so pay close attention. If you are ever in Lincoln, these thoughts might save your life. Probably.
1. Tap water tastes pretty good here.
2. There has not been a day over 85 degrees since we got here. I have hardly used air conditioning at all and keep my windows open all day. I am making an effort to commit these glorious days to memory in hopes they will keep me warm during the bitterly cold winters.
3.Speaking of bitterly cold winters, apparently Lincoln is the 7th coldest city in the US. This bodes ill for me. Very ill, indeed. I might make human hibernation a thing in light of this.
4. The Green Gateau has delicious brunch with massive portion sizes and cheap mimosas. This is where you will find me on all Sundays from now on (your welcome stalkers, I just did like half your job for you).
5. The Farmer’s Market on Saturdays is LEGIT. Some might even venture to say it is too legit to quit. Unfortunately, it will quit in mid-October, but until then, all my produce, eggs, and cheese are farm fresh and delicious.
And thus concludes my second week in Lincoln. Stay tuned next week when I report back on my quest to find good Mexican food.
Basically the title is the whole story. We had ants, like, a LOT of ants, in our master bathroom. Which, it turns out, was kind of my fault because I wash my face with manuka honey and ants just can’t get enough honey and I basically begged them to enter our house by keeping my honey by the shower. So, after more or less inviting the ants in, I was mad that they were here and so we sprayed the crap out of the bathroom and now they are all dead and I feel oddly guilty about it. They weren’t biting ants and really they weren’t hurting anything but I killed the lot of them because I don’t want bugs in our house. I just feel like I did something mean and wrong. But also, I’m relieved because no more bugs in our bathroom. A lot of mixed emotions y’all.
Two amazing women I know are conducting research on miscarriage and they way that husbands and wives communicate after that loss. I think this research is crazy important and finding ways to support people dealing with miscarriage is something that is near and dear to my heart. This is something that matters.
As part of the data collection, they are conducting a survey and those details are below. If this applies to you, please consider taking the time to complete it. There is an Amazon gift card at the end of it for you and the knowledge that you’re contributing to something that could help other couples dealing with miscarriage.
Drs. Haley Horstman (University of Missouri) and Amanda Holman (University of Nebraska-Lincoln) are conducting a survey study on the ways couples communicate about miscarriage. If a) you and your spouse has experienced a miscarriage (with your current spouse) within the last ten years, b) you are at least 18 years old and c) are in a heterosexual, married relationship, and d) your spouse is also willing to participate, consider completing our online survey. It will take about 40 minutes, and each couple can receive a $20 Amazon gift card for their time.
Survey link: http://goo.gl/loKrn9, or contact MUUNLMiscarriageStudy@gmail.com with any questions.
So, we are officially moved into our house in Lincoln. It was hard and I cried a lot because Texas Forever, but I am sure I’m going to like it here. So, here are things I’ve learned about life in Lincoln thus far.
1. Honest Abe’s. EAT AT THIS PLACE. The burgers are INSANE. Also, parmesan truffle fries. Basically, all of the NOMS.
2. There are not enough stop signs. Like, there are many places it should be a four-way stop but there are no stop signs. None. I find this concerning.
3. We have a pet squirrel. Sort of. There is a squirrel called Sam that is missing half a tail that will eat out of your hand. I also suspect this squirrel to be sort of psychic or like telepathic. Sam is wiser than you would expect a squirrel to be. I wonder if she used to work for Cinderella or Snow White? Sam seems like a squirrel who would totally dress a princess and help her clean up her house.
4. The staff at Whole Foods in Lincoln is SUPER nice. Like, the friendliest Whole Foods employees I have ever interacted with.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got right now, but I’ll keep y’all updated on life in Lincoln.
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you soon. Texas Forever.