I was thinking the other day about how doctors get to say “Hi my name is Doctor McDoctorson, M.D.” or “My name is Doctor McDoctorson, Ph.D.” or rich people get to say “My name is Richy McRicherson, Esquire.” And I was thinking it might be really cool if everyone got to have a title but [...]
Archive for the ‘Discoveries’ Category
Girl On The Contrary, Sleeps On Her Side.
Posted in Discoveries, Humor, Life, tagged Discoveries, Humor, Life on April 11, 2012 | 61 Comments »
Up Yours, One-Uppers!
Posted in Discoveries, Humor, Life, Random, tagged aliens, Discoveries, funny, Humor, Life, random on March 8, 2011 | 10 Comments »
You know them. You loathe them. We all do. They are the One-Uppers. They are those that always have a better story, a worse sickness, a better car, a better haircut, a harder work assignment, a sexier lover, a whatever it takes to one-up whatever it is you have. They suck. Not because you suspect [...]
“Someday I’ll Have It All” Delusion
Posted in Discoveries, Humor, Life, tagged Discoveries, Humor, Life on December 7, 2010 | 12 Comments »
I woke up over the weekend. I woke up to the fact that I have been deluded. Actually, I didn’t wake up to it- I just said that to make it dramatic. The truth is I was laying on a massage table getting the knots in my back worked out. Anyway, all of the sudden, [...]
My Grocery Store Is Haunted.
Posted in Discoveries, Humor, Random, tagged baking, Discoveries, ghosts, Humor, random on November 22, 2010 | 8 Comments »
The following account is completely true. (In my opinion) My company’s Thanksgiving potluck lunch is today. So, I spent yesterday baking pumpkin cupcakes and apple pie. This story is not about that. It’s about what happened when I went to the grocery store to buy all the baking supplies I needed. It was a blistery [...]
The Internet Is Not An Oracle
Posted in Discoveries, Life, tagged centaurs, clairvoyant, comedy, Discoveries, forunte tellers, funny, google, Humor, internet, Life, oracle on September 30, 2010 | 25 Comments »
I realized the other day that I’ve been using the internet as some sort of oracle. Googling questions like “What will I eat for dinner?”, “What is going to happen on Glee?”, “Will I ever live in a haunted house?”, and “Am I going to be abducted by aliens or eaten by dinosaurs?” You know, [...]
Your Office Doesn’t Care About Your Health.
Posted in Blogging, Discoveries, Life, Random, tagged blogging, conspiracy, Discoveries, funny, Humor, Life, mafia, office, random, spiders, work on September 3, 2010 | 14 Comments »
I do care about your health. I want to make sure you know as much as possible about serious diseases such as eye chlamydia. Your office doesn’t want you to know that. They want you to get eye chlamydia. They are probably trying to kill you. Shame on them. How do I know this? Well, [...]
BobbleHead Neck Brace
Posted in Discoveries, tagged bobblehead syndrome, Discoveries, Humor, Life, neck injury, office, work on August 7, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Just a follow-up to my previous bobblehead post. One of the best reasons not to be a bobblehead is your health. You can literally hurt yourself. This has been proven to me by my offices resident bobblehead and the recent neck injury the bobblehead sustained. Sure, they say it’s from something else but I know [...]
More Back Rubs, Less War
Posted in Discoveries, tagged back-rubs, Discoveries, Humor, Love, war, world peace on July 29, 2010 | 2 Comments »
Finally, my long awaited plan for world peace is about to be unveiled. The time for holding your breath is over! In a nutshell my plan for world peace is this- more back rubs less war. I know what you’re thinking- this plan is BRILLIANT. You are probably really jealous you didn’t think about it. [...]
