Do you remember when you were little and you used to randomly declare it was “opposite day” and you would walk around saying “no” when you meant “yes” and would ask your Mom to let you eat cotton candy for dinner, and when she said “no” you jumped up and down with excitement because it was “opposite day” and you had just tricked your Mom into letting you have cotton candy for dinner? Was that just a thing I did?
Well, planning a wedding is like one giant “opposite day”, because everything I thought would be easy, has been hard, and everything I thought would be hard has been easy. Take finding a wedding dress for example, I was convinced that it was going to be the most traumatic and horrific experience of my life. I didn’t eat the entire day before my appointment because I was so anxious about trying on dresses, I had my sister, Mother, and best friend prepped to give me a champagne IV should things go poorly. And then I went and my sister picked out a dress for me to try on and it was PERFECTION. It was the first dress I tried on and even though I tried on 9 others just to see, I knew, I KNEW that that dress was the one. Just like I knew Captain Thoughtful was the one. It was so simple and so perfect. On the other hand, I thought finding shoes to match that perfect dress would be easy as pie. Wrong. I have not found one pair of shoes that I like that go with the gown. Not one. They are all either too sparkly or too plain. Why can’t I just Goldilocks this mother and find the pair that are “just right”?
And really, shoes??! Shoes are causing me the most frustration? But shoes have been so good to me. Shoes I understand. Shoes I know. Shoes I love. And yet, now, when I can buy a pretty pair just to go with one dress, I can’t find any that I like. The wedding rule of opposites!
But, I’ve got this wedding planning thing figured out now. I get it. It’s just like when I was a kid playing “opposite day”. I see you wedding planning. Game on.
This might be crazy, but this is what I would do, and it might be because I’m slightly crazy: Kick the shoes to the freaking curb. Wear boots. Or flip flops. Or sneakers. Or ballet slippers. Anything but regular ol’ stupid, hard-to-find shoes. Love ‘em and be happy! No one’ll see ‘em anyway, right? Or is your dress short? Anyway, when you lift up your dress or w/e, it’d be cool to see something a lil different. IF it’s your style. If not, just trust that you’ll find the right pair. It can’t ALL be easy. How DARE you find your dress on the first go?! This shoe issue is the wedding goddess making sure you know how this wedding plan thing works!
Pick carefully and let others help you… Just don’t turn into a Bridezilla!!
Shoes? Well go for comfort, then cute. I did the can I slip them off my feet easily and be barefoot instantly? If the answer is no they are the right ones for me.
Focus on something else, perhaps the right shoes will jump out at you when you are looking for them.
What does the dress look like?
I can’t say. I’m keeping it a secret from Captain Thoughtful and he totally reads my blog comments.
I definitely played “opposite day”. I hope that you find shoes that match soon and – more importantly – that don’t kill your feet!!!
I had a hard time finding shoes and accessories too – the dress was easy. You Go Girl – Game On!!!
Thanks for the encouragement!
Perhaps the key to this situation is to expect everything to be extremely time-consuming and difficult to make a decision on. Then you won’t ever be disappointed. However, maybe you need to rethink the shoes and go with something more outside the box- like a pop of color??
Definitely what I’m thinking about doing at this point. Maybe I’m just not a fan of white/ivory shoes in general….
Shoes should be the fun part – if your dress is floor length, go crazy and don’t wear white shoes! It is one way you can really express yourself while being traditional on the outside. Shoes should NEVER be stressful, shoe stressing probably should be one of the seven deadly sins.
I’m considering not going white- I think that’s been part of the problem. And you’re right, shoes stressing should not be a thing that’s allowed.
As long as everyone keeps their undergarments off their dashboards I think everything is going to be OK.
That’s a good point.
To me, shoes were the easiest part. I figured that since my gown is so long that they aren’t going to really be a focus and it’s the only place where I can have a little fashion fun without it being a distraction. Our wedding was in the yard of a waterfront bed & breakfast at 4pm on a sunny December day in Florida. Everything was traditional except for my dark purple snakeprint heels. No one even noticed them until late into the reception festivities.
That’s a great way to look at it! Thanks for the new perspective.
You could always go all Wizard of Oz on everyone and do the Ruby Red Slippers. Yes. They have those.
I would only wear them if they were the exact ones Judy Garland wore.
You know my life lately is one big opposite day. I never thought about it before.
Glad I could help shed some light.
Oh now I feel bad for not warning you – shoes are really hard!
All the wedding shops in our area told me “We used to do shoes … but not any more.” Great. Thanks. But the last shop I tried said, “We used to do shoes … but not any more. We do have 3 pairs left – what size are you?” And the one and only pair in my size was just right and really comfortable.
Maybe shoe serendipity will happen for me too!
I love your blog – it makes me laugh every time I read it. I just had my wedding in August and planned it for 18 months from overseas so I can feel your pain about the fun of the planning process. It really is all worth it in the end. Anyway, I found my shoes on here: http://www.bhldn.com/ which has several lovely things – just thought I’d pass it along. G’luck! – Megan
Thanks! I LOVE bhdln! Great suggestion!
“Cause it’s all about the art….
Perfect, mysterious,
Comes from above.
Magic is a magic thing,
And lovely as love.
A gift from Olympus,
Who sent me a muse and shoes…
…
No, it’s not about shoes,
Even if they’re sweet,
They should focus on my tragedy
And not my feet,
It’s not about shoes,
It’s all about the art.” -Penny, “Commentary: the Musical” from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog.
I needed that. Thanks!
Opposites day was totally not just a thing you did! I spent many days in my youth asking my mother for chocolate fudge cake for breakfast and telling my brothers they smelled nice. I thought I was a genius.
I too found my wedding dress most unexpectedly within minutes and struggled for months with the shoes. In the end I resorted to making them myself courtesy of some quite plain, white satin bridal shoes, customised with two claret satin roses shipped from Hong Kong. They looked fabulous, went with our claret/red rose theme – and were truly unique!
Great post my dear. Good luck with your shoe hunt!
Thanks! It’s nice to know I’m not alone in “opposite day” or in having difficulty finding the perfect shoe.
Shoes are always a bitch. Nothing hurt my heart like finding the perfect pair of Steve Maddens (not a label girl, but they were cute) on ebay in “my size” and then not being able to squeeze my feet into them. Luckily, the silver Nina mesh pumps that wound up being way prettier than their picture worked out. Go for comfortable first and foremost, then factor in cute. And there’s no written rule that they have to be white–something blue, maybe? That knocks out one of the three…..
Or you can go for embellished Keds–those were my after-shoe but hey, cute and comfortable in spades! Definite possibility there.
I’m definitely focused on comfortable but it would be nice to find some that are cute too. I’m probably going to change into my converse for the reception.