Did you know you aren’t allowed to get angry when you’re a bride? Yeah. That’s a thing. You aren’t allowed to get angry because no matter how justified your anger, everyone will call you a “Bridezilla” and completely disregard your feelings, even if they’re legitimate….because you’re getting married….so, that automatically makes you a “Bridezilla”. Apparently, it’s science.
Say, for example, you’re a bride and a member of your bridal party intentionally hits you with their car (you know, for laughs) – you totally can’t get mad at them because then everyone will say “She’s just stressed about having two broken legs at the wedding and is being such a Bridezilla.” That is a thing that would happen.
Or, on a less violently hyperbolic note, perhaps someone you’ve invited to the wedding makes a big deal about how inconvenient your wedding is for them and what a hassle it will be to attend. You, as the bride, are not allowed to respond with anything other than a smile and a shrug because otherwise OH MY GOSH IT’S BRIDEZILLA.
There are a lot of things that can go wrong with your wedding, and nothing is going to go exactly as planned. Most of those things are minor and you’ll be able to laugh about them because, in case you haven’t heard, weddings are hilarious. But there will be other things, things that actually do matter, relationships that matter, that are going to go through the ringer and cause the bride heartache and headache- and while those things might not be hilarious (although, if you’re me, you might still inappropriately laugh at them) what is hilarious is that as a bride, you aren’t allowed to get mad without getting slapped with a big scarlet B for “Bridezilla”. And that’s funny y’all because out of all the villainous monsters, I’m way more of a Medusa when I get mad. Or like, an Octoshark. Godzilla doesn’t even make sense- I’m terrified of dinosaurs, why would I become one when I’m mad? That’s just poor logic.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that people should be more clever with their bride-directed insults. Yeah. That’s probably what I’m trying to say. Because I certainly wouldn’t say that it’s some bull that a bride isn’t allowed to get angry for legitimate reasons for fear of being labeled a “Bridezilla”. Saying something like that would make me a “Bridezilla”. Which I’m not. Because I’m afraid of dinosaurs.