The end is nie!! It’s nie!!! How do I know? I know because many many people have found their way to my blog this week via the search term “I farted cats”. People are literally farting cats! Why isn’t this being covered by the news? Is there some kind of worldwide cover up? We need the truth people! There may or may not be a pandemic causing human beings to fart cats.
Or, you know, people are just searching “I farted cats” for fun. Either way, I think it’s pretty clear that the end is nie. Touchè Mayans, you really knew what you were talking about.
Updated: Yes, I know it’s “nigh” not “nie” but I’m not going to change it. So there.
I patently refuse to enter an apocalypse with farting cats. Or cat farters, for that matter….
Interesting search term. Who knew? ‘)
Certainly not me.
I almost pissed myself from laughing so hard – loving that photo! What is it about farts and talking about farts that is so darn comical. My sides hurt. Have a Great Day – you certainly made mine a 1000 times better this afternoon:)
Yay! I’m so glad I could bring some funny fart jokes to you!
Ha ha! You’re right – it’s got to be the same as pigs flying!
I get “farting for pleasure” as a search term fairly often. Best search term this week at GoGuiltyPleasures, though, was: “you should have bought a squirrel”
Oh man! I knew I would be the last one at the “bought a squirrel” party. You should have told me earlier!
Stick to your guns woman!!
Sounds painful? Is it a recurring condition? perhaps the human equivalent of coughing up a hairball only we’re flatulating kittens instead of gas? What does this say about our dietary habits?
I would hate to be their gastro-entrologist?
“‘We have the results of your colonoscopy…you’re not going to believe this!”
Inquiring minds want to know.
I have no answers, only more questions. This will require some more research.
Is there some new fad about farting hackneyed Broadway show tunes?????
Not that I’m aware of…but that would be kind of awesome.
I’m not sure about people farting cats, GotC, but I do know it’s “nigh,” not “nie” – although that may be the way Monty Python spells it. I actually wouldn’t doubt that.
Btw, did you know that FART’s acronym is “Feeling A Rectal Transmission”? (Why are fart jokes so funny? And that kitten is priceless!)
Color me humiliated. But, I’m not going to change it, as it serves as an accidental and hilarious homage to Monty Python. Nie! Nie!
And now that the problem has been identified, you have to make sure you have suitable responses at the ready when one of these Cat Farters rips one in in an elevator:
“I can haz match?”
“Ok… who cut the Chesire?”
“I’m smelling an SBD. Silent But DomesticShorthair.”
“Hey.. somebody just floated an Air Bengal.”
And in the unfortunate instance that you, yourself, should embarrassingly fart a cat and someone else comments on it – you can always feign an innocent expression and blame it back on them with the tried and true:
“Hey Buddy…. The guilty dog barks first. At the cat. That was just farted.”
Those responses are so amazing that I don’t even have the words….except these words….obviously…..
“I told you. I said end of the world. And you’re like, “Pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.”
“I’m so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.” -Buffy and Giles.
Haha! I love that episode!
I would be more concerned if people were farting kittens. All productivity would litterally screech (think high pitched gas) to a halt, because kittens are just too damn cute.
That is an excellent point! Ok, I’ll save my panic for when people start farting kittens.
OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! You made my day!
Good, I’m glad!
What are you doing to me? I had to try a search. I wasn’t directed to your blog, but the search returned 132,000 results which I am now going to have to sift through! This will not be a productive day at work.
Sorry. I googled it to, I on like page 10 or something….I didn’t think people ever even looked at page 10 of search results.
Oh my. Now I will have to write a post about farting cats. Can I just use the title and then write about something else?
Of course! Feel free!
I follow you in spite of farting cats – and btw, I downloaded The Bloggess yesterday – see the wonderful effect you’ve had on me?
Trust me, you will not be sorry.