This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Y’all, ever since I started posting regularly about the spam I get in my comments, I’ve stopped getting spam in my comments. Well, at least I stopped getting comment spam in English, I have continued to receive quite a bit in Cyrillic but it’s just not as funny. Finally, finally, I received a comment yesterday that was post-worthy.
“Thank you for this posting. You surely grease the shafts of knowledge with your information.”
Y’all! Did you know the shafts of knowledge were rusty? I sure didn’t. We need to remedy this immediately. No wonder there are lots of bad things happening and problems we can’t solve- our knowledge shafts are rusty. How can we expect to get anything done with rusty knowledge shafts? Shouldn’t the rusty knowledge shafts alarm be going off somewhere in like a secret government facility of something? Why isn’t everyone freaking out?!
I mean, my blog posts can’t be the only thing greasing the shafts of knowledge. Y’all, it’s a really big problem and as awesome as I am, I can’t possibly be expected to fix it myself. This is beyond my considerable powers. Luckily for the world, I have a three-part plan. (All the best plans are three part)
1. Everyone should make a point to recite all the facts they know about everything all day.
2. Everyone should get paid to read books for at least 20 hours a week so they can learn more.
3. Repeat parts 1 and 2 until the shaft of knowledge is good and greased up and then all the world’s problems will be solved.
You’re welcome.
I had a spam comment from somebody telling me how proud they were of my writing and my blog. I was signed ‘love Mom’. Seriously, you think somebody would fall for spam mail signed love Mom?! Especially as I am English so it’s Mum where I come from?! FAIL.
Oh my heavens! That’s hilarious! I haven’t gotten one like that yet.
Ach…and all this time I’ve been Crisco-ing the shafts of knowledge. No wonder my cake never rises….
Well, now you know.
my SPAM is so boring compared to yours….
Just you wait – I’m sure it will get good soon.
Your spammers are wise people! ha! I can see why you would want people to get payed for reading but I’m afraid they wouldn’t actually learn nor pay enough attention to what’s in their hands. They’d only be doing it for money.
It’s like the books we are forced to read at school or college, we do it because we have to not because we want to. No pleasure derives from that.
ergo no real learning involved :S
I do support however point 1!
Of course, I was always the nerd who loved the assigned reading.
OK awesome!! I can do this!! Yesterday I learned that if you pour a can of coke-cola into the toliet, the acid will clean the bowl.
Now I haven’t tried it yet but I will today. I haven’t cleaned my bathroom in a long time and the hubby is returning today. I need to make him think I have been working the whole time.
I can not wait to hear how this goes!
Quick update: my toilet did not look any cleaner.
Shucks. That would have been an awesome trick.
DO NOT DISTURB. I’ll be greasing the shafts today.
Best “Do Not Disturb” sign ever.
The greasing the shafts comment must have been made by a politician. See, I have to issue restraint or gutters.
I certainly wouldn’t be surprised….
Hilarious! You just greased my shafts right up! Hahahaha!!!
Huzzah!
“The knowledge gained from a computer is a – it, uh, it has no no texture, no-no context. It’s-it’s there and then it’s gone. If it’s to last, then-then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.” -Giles.
One of my favorite Buffy quotes!
Hilarious. And here I was worrying about global warming and health care. Maybe I should finally read that Alice Bliss book instead. (But since I just got the The Bloggess’ memoir, it’s not looking good.)
I know! Mine is in the mail! All other books are on hold.
I grease my shaft all the time. I think it just makes me dumber though.
You’re greasing the wrong shaft- you should be greasing knowledge’s shaft.
See, I told you I was stupid.
I don’t believe it for one second.
“That’s what she said!”
I think your spammers are just stumped at trying to come up with original things to say to you, but at least when they do post, it’s a worthwhile comment.
Haha! I kept making that joke in my head while I wrote this.
Hilarious!
Well, my 9 yr old swears anything you read on the internet is true, so ok………
If it turns out he’s right, I’m probably doomed.
good one, GotC.
i wrote a piece a while back on a very similar topic, so i feel your pain regarding the people commenting without actually reading. take a look at the nonsense i posted. keep up the good work, i love your stuff.
http://www.observationsbydavidk.com/?p=1141
Thanks very much! We are all in this thing together!
I never really thought of knowledge as having any phallic implications – now I’m so confused!! But laughing….:-)
I know! Also, why does knowledge have to be a dude?? So many things to think about.
My head just went straight into the gutter when I read that. lol.
I think I deserve some sort of award for not making a dirty joke. I showed great restraint with this post.
Yes , Indeedy.