This weekend I went to one of my favorite antique stores here in Austin- it’s pretty massive and you can always find something really odd and interesting there. And yet….I find walking around that store raises many questions.
1. Why would anyone need half a map of Texas? I saw not only one, but two of these while I was walking around. But why? Why would someone buy half a map of Texas? Or anywhere for that matter? It would seem that maps are best when they are whole. But maybe this is just indicative of my personal philosophy, in my eyes, the map is always half-missing. Curious, because I’ve always thought of myself as an optimist. You can really learn a lot about yourself in an antique store.
2. Why are toys from my childhood in an antique store? There was one booth that was positively filled with toys I owned as a child and they were all labeled “antique”. I find this very upsetting as it made me contemplate my own mortality and I really felt like I had another ten years or so before I had to do that.
3. Who needs taxidermied squirrels in chains? I mean, it’s not bad enough that someone killed two squirrels for fun, you have to put them in chains? I bet whoever buys that will have a massive case of squirrel hauntings on their hands. And trust me, squirrel hauntings are some of the worst kinds of hauntings.
Seriously y’all, you should go antiquing because it’s a pretty philosophical experience. Also, there are globes that turn into bars there and so that’s pretty great. Any place that sells things that have secret liquor hidden in them is a-ok with me.