What fresh hell is this? A slutty skunk? Really? That’s what you wanted to be for halloween? In all the world, your heart’s greatest desire was to pay $250 for a costume that makes you resemble a skunk prostitute? Ok. Fine.
Listen. I have absolutely no problem with you wanting to dress a bit more daring, even rique if you so choose and you’re an adult attending an adult function (Please, please, no more slutty skunks at kid centric events). Really, I get it. It’s kind of fun to let your wild side have a night out and halloween presents an excellent opportunity for it. I say go for it. If dressing up in a sexy costume and going out in public makes you feel carefree and beautiful, I have no problem with it. None at all. Other than these.
1. It’s October. Aren’t you cold?
2. Why are the only costumes available to women of the skank variety?
3. Animals. As my darling and ever pithy friend Mary put it “It’s taking anthropomorphism to a very bad place.”
Skunks stink. For reals. They are known for being stinky. What is sexy about that? Ok- I guess a case can be made for Pepe Le Pew being kind of sexy, I mean, he was pretty darn romantic and always looks like he’s wearing a tuxedo, but he is clearly the skunk exception and not the rule.
I simply can’t imagine what was going on in the brains of the ladies who chose to be a slutty skunk for halloween. Or can I?
What was going on in the head of this year’s batch of slutty skunks according to my imagination.
Finally, a costume that allows me to use the line “Let me put my stink on you.” without seeming gross and bizarre.
This is the best costume ever- I don’t even have to shower!
I can’t wait to hear all the bestiality jokes this costume will inspire!
With this costume, I’ll never have to apologize for farting. It’s totally implied and expected.
If there is one thing the fellas like, it’s a girl dressed as a skunk.
Am I taking crazy pills or are sexy animal costumes completely ridiculous??? As a point of reference, I was Zelda Fitzgerald for halloween.