When I was in university, I had the most amazing date ever in the history of the world. No exaggeration. The funny part, because I know you’re expecting a funny part, is that I didn’t even realize it was a date until it was over. True story.
I was very good friends with this guy, we’ll call him Mr. Romantico, and he and I spent quite a bit of time together and got along splendidly. One day, Mr. Romantico and I were having a discussion about dating and I mentioned that it would be so amazing if a guy sent you a written invitation for a date. About a week later, I received a letter in the mail. It went a little something like this:
Dear Ms. Contrary,
You are cordially invited to attend a dinner party for two at my residence on Friday night. Dress is casual. There will be wine. Please RSVP.
Sincerely,
Mr. Romantico
You may think that it was obvious to me that I was being asked out on a date. And to that I say, sure, when I tell you it ended up being a date and with hindsight and all that jazz, it’s easy to know it was a date, but when it was actually happening, it was a lot less clear. Also, fine, I should have known. Whatever.
So, obviously, I accepted the invitation and went to his house that Friday night- still none the wiser that I was actually on a date. When I got there, he had some awesome music playing on his turntables, Mr. Romantico had the best taste in music and he only ever played it on vinyl, and he was making me dinner. Seriously. He made me dinner. It was delicious. It was some type of pasta dish that had lots of yummy vegetables and a fresh tomato sauce and we each had a very large glass of red wine. Basically, he was setting a pretty stellar mood that I was completely oblivious to. Had I known I was on a date, I would have pretty much been swept off my feet.
After dinner and another glass of wine, he taught me how to play chess. I know. I told you it was the best date ever. He was so patient and thoughtful and we laughed a lot and he totally let me win. We listened to some more music and then I hugged him and left. We still saw each other fairly frequently but he graduated soon after and that was that. Although we haven’t spoken in years, when I think about the coolest people I’ve ever known, he is in the top 5. (As a side note, I totally keep a list of the coolest people I’ve known. It really helps me measure my own coolness in comparison.) It wasn’t until I was describing that night to a girlfriend of mine and she said “Um, that sounds like the most amazing date ever.” That I realized I had, in fact, been on the most amazing date ever and not even realized it. How do you say “what a waste” in Latin? I ask for it in Latin because it seems like the right language to really underscore what a waste of a lovely date that was. Also, how do you say “I’m a schmuck.” in latin? I feel like thats a sentence I need to memorize in every language.
I am so glad I am not the only oblivious one in the world.
Not at all! It seems like we are in good company.
Maybe he reads your blog. Maybe he read this post. And maybe, you will get an invite by mail tomorrow.
I. Would. Die. That would be too lovely for words. Also, though, a little creepy because how does he know where I live now??
I just got to know you, and if I’m not horribly wrong you’re in Austin. A cool guy who can teach chess will surely know the moves.
Keep your fingers crossed!
Good point. Fingers crossed.
Well, on the positive side, you’ll always have the memory of that one perfect date. Many of us aren’t even close to having that!
And I agree with Chris, (who said that your being oblivious to the fact that it was a date made you more relaxed and able to enjoy every moment of it.) If you were in the know, you would have stressed out about it (most women would, I think…)
You guys are probably right. And I do love that I have such a lovely memory of that guy that’s not tainted by anything.
This post is hilarious! It has definitely happened to me more times than I want to recount (the whole going on a date and not knowing it thing). Also, I keep a top 5 nerdiest people I know list, because, well, I want to know how I measure up next to them (it isn’t good).
Sydney
ps. Latin is a good choice– it gives everything such finality, it being a dead language and all.
Thank you! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one this has happened to.
whether you call it a date or not (you could call it the King’s Nuts for all that it matters) is immaterial. It was fun, right? just think of all the pressure you did not put yourself through because the word ‘date’ was not applied….
so the next time some piece of eye-candy asked you out, discard the ‘date’ label. Think of it as a golf outing. There. Doesn’t that feel better?
If I think of it as a golf outing, I might be prone to complain about how boring it is. How about mini-golf outing? Now those are fun!
whatever makes you happy…
Umm, totally not meaning to be rude, but I feel there is a huge part of this story unconsidered and inquiring minds want to know… If it was such a wonderful evening, why did neither of you think to do it again before he left? ‘Cause whether or not I realized I was on a date, I’m pretty sure I’d have been all like, “Whoa, that was totally fun, let’s do this again!!”
Well, I didn’t really give him any indication that would be something I was interested in. I was completely oblivious and it wasn’t until later that I realized what I had in him as a friend and as a potential boyfriend. We definitely kept hanging out but it was usually in a group- if memory serves he did ask me to do something else but I declined for some reason…..moral of the story is, I’m a schmuck.
*Awww* That’s a shame. However, I like to think that things happen for a reason. If neither of you pursued it, it’s probably because the Universe has something better in store. So you’re not a schmuck. If it was meant to be, it would have been. Serendipity happens or it doesn’t, and most of the time there’s nothing you can do about it.
I’m with you on serendipity although she can be kind of a tease sometimes.
I feel like I need to review some of my nicer dinners with boys – maybe I had the perfect date hiding in there somewhere and didn’t know it!
You should! Who knows what you might discover???
Heus!
Nōn sollicitāre!
Which means … Hi!
Don’t Worry!
Thats all I know…
Can I be #7 in your top 10 list? 7 is my favorite number.
Thanks Marina! Unfortunately, I can’t reveal the list or the rankings but I will take your favorite number into consideration.
Whaa! That was totally a Mr. Darcy! So what has become of the man?
I only know how to say “lick my ass” in Latin
I’m pretty sure I don’t need to say “lick my ass” in latin but I’ll let you know.
Oh, man!
Don’t worry. I’m one of those ladies who needs friends to put things like that out to her. *shrugs*
Happens to the best of us.
The best date ever are always the one that we do not expect to be a date !! True !! No pressure at all, just being yourself and having fun.
It was definitely a lot of fun.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all just turn hindsight onto frontsight? Our brilliance would be dazzling!
Our brilliance would be dazzling indeed!
Great post! I wonder if asking a girl out on email like that really would work. What do you think?
Nope. I think it has to be handwritten and mailed to have the same effect. Email is less special. Thanks for reading!
All right, so handwritten and mailed. I’ll change my question. Does handwritten and mailed work? And secondly, do you really need to personally know that person? What if you send it out to a girl you only know by name?
Yes, handwritten and mailed works. But I think knowing someone would help a lot, I’m not sure how I would feel if I received mail from someone I didn’t know asking me out.
oh crap! BUT, maybe we all need to keep one of those flawless moments that don’t get all smudged with newer memories of them being stroppy, having wind or forgetting your birthday….perhaps we shall call those The Hollywood Hindsights where the memories are perfect and rose coloured….or maybe you should Google him and let him know your new Latin name and current address?!
Actually, I think you have a really good point. It is quite nice being able to look back on that one lovely moment and know it wasn’t completely ruined by anything that might have come after.
Ewww hindsight sucks, and it’s pretty much the only way I ever get things
I know, right?! Stupid hindsight.
PS Please understand that I’m not calling you stupider than a donkey, merely passing on the wisdom from my latin teacher!
No worries! I knew what you meant.
If it’s any help, you could say “Ego sum stultior quam asinus”. Which could translate as “I am stupider than a donkey”. It’s not exactly what you asked for but it’s about the only thing I remember from Latin lessons…
THANK YOU! I am memorizing that immediately!
Sounds like the perfect date! Thanks for the great read
Thanks for reading!
Well, maybe it was a good thing you didn’t realize it was a date. I mean, think about it, if you’d realized it was a date, then you would have probably been stressing out a lot more. But since you were completely oblivious you were able to enjoy a wonderful evening with an amazing guy. You weren’t worried about all the tiny trivial things that a girl on a “date” normally is. Just sayin, I think you were actually rather fortunate to be oblivious, for because of that you could be at ease, and be yourself. And as far as i can tell you’re a pretty amazing self. : )
Yeah, I probably was a lot more calm not knowing it was a date. Although, I wish I had known so I could have appreciated it a bit more and maybe encouraged him to ask me out again.
I got to your blog thanks to The Good Greatsby’s stellar recommendation today, and I’m glad I did! This was hilarious, I’m now a subsriber and looking forward to reading more!
Thank you so much! I guess I owe the Good Greatsby my first child now.
oh goodness…lol… if I knew Latin I’d help you with those phrases (because that’s about as good of help that I could give with this one!)… sounds like a really lovely experience though, and one that a lot of people don’t get. Lucky duck!
Yeah, it was a pretty stellar experience. I wish I had appreciated it a bit more at the time.
I’m dying to know where I fit on your ranking of cool people.
Ha! I knew you would be the one to ask that question. I have the list secured by magic in a secret cave somewhere in England. If you can survive the many spells protecting it, then the knowledge of the list is yours to have.