R.E.M. Is Screwing With Me.

So, the other day I was leaving my place to meet a friend at the movies. I was playing it pretty low key. I wasn’t wearing any make-up other than mascara, was wearing shorts and a comfy top, gladiator sandals (my go-to shoe), and my hair was in a ponytail. Without sounding too disparaging, I wasn’t looking my foxiest, but was not especially concerned about it either. So, I’m walking to my car and I see a cute guy. Like, a really cute guy. He was walking back from the pool and had no shirt on. Bascially, it’s everything a flirtation failure like me fears in life. Hot guy+no shirt= me hiding in the bushes. Except, this time, I didn’t hide. I didn’t want to run late for the movie ( as a side note, I saw Horrible Bosses and it was hysterical). So, I just kept walking to my car.

Then, something miraculous happened. He smiled at me. And not like a polite smile, it was a full on, checking me out smile. Needless to say, I was stunned. So stunned that I was able to smile back. Miraculous indeed. I got into my car and as I was pulling out of my parking space noticed he turned around to check me out again. I’m not even going to lie, I felt a little giddy. My self-esteem bucket was overflowing. If you don’t know what a self-esteem bucket is, you obviously weren’t in my high school speech class, where I learned that everyone has a bucket of self-esteem and when you compliment someone, you help fill their bucket and when you insult someone, you take self-esteem out of their bucket. It’s very scientific, although my sociology professor in college wasn’t super impressed.

So, with a full bucket of sunshiney self-esteem, I turned on my car radio feeling like good music would complete this perfect moment. What I got was R.E.M.’s ‘It’s the End Of The World As We Know It’. So, if I’m to understand the universe and R.E.M. correctly, when a superfox checks me out it is the sign of an imminent apocalypse. Huh. I guess you should all prepare yourselves for the apocalypse because that for sure happened.

Thanks a lot R.E.M., just when things are looking up, your song predicts the end of the world. Good grief.

30 thoughts on “R.E.M. Is Screwing With Me.

  1. I’m jealous…you have hot guys where you live?

    All we have are farm boys that use manure for bodywash and rednecks who think the epitome of cool is wearing their sunglasses upside down on the bills of their John Deere ball caps.

  2. funny post, girl.
    actually i’ve never heard of the self-esteem bucket, but what a great concept! i live that way anyway, finding that “propping people up” is way more beneficial to mankind than “tearing people down”. but henceforth, it shall be called the “self-esteem bucket”. love your descriptive abilities. keep it up.
    david

  3. It’s funny, isn’t it, what will attract a man versus what we think we attract a man? I feel like I’ve had more guys check me out when I felt like I looked my worst than when I make myself look nice. Crazy. But gives me an excuse not to bother dolling myself up all the time! :)

  4. I liked it all!
    If you are girlonthecontrary..i am boyonthecontrary. Hope surely it matches!
    Wishing you the very BEST without any contrary!
    Loves to be in touch!

  5. Ok Ok, I have to admit I bumped on to your blog following random blogs trying to pass my time and I have so far read a few of them and I find them very interesting and funny.

    Having said that, Phew!! my compliment one person for the day is done, I think you are looking at the song all wrong, personally I think every song REM makes has a deeper meaning behind it, this one says the world may end but I’m ok with it, so to say that I’m at peace with myself. I take that a little to the next level to say REM in this song are trying to say that the life may look like an end of the world (looking at the room in the video) but its gonna get better you just gave to be ok with it and deal with it.

    So in the case of your blog I think it would have been the perfect song, thinking you describe you were not looking the best, but that smile made you feel good, and that is what the song talks about :D

    I think I have ranted on too much and my constant need to psychoanalyze music is getting to me :D

  6. So, a little irony, and a lot of me being a big nerd, but Michael Stipe apparently wrote that song in reference to high school debate, so maybe it came on the radio to remind your of your high school speech class and your self-esteem bucket. Which, I can’t believe your college professor hadn’t heard of. It’s all extremely scientific. Maybe the college prof never took an anatomy class.

    • No way!!! The universe is seriously crazy. :) I am starting to wonder how qualified my college professor was considering he had never heard of a self-esteem bucket. I might want to get my money back on that class.
      Thanks for reading!

  7. Dear GirlOTC, don’t worry, it’s just a metaphor. The world-as-we-knew-it was the one that had flirtation failures. That world should end. The new world is coming and you will be the flirtation goddess of every man’s dreams. OK?

  8. lol!! I love it when something happens and a song full of irony b*tch-slaps you back.. haha… it’s just so humbling ;)

    Good on you GotC for the flirt un-failure! (non-failure? frick. good pass!)

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