Recently, I’ve become aware of a grave mistake I made. That mistake is writing this blog. I realize now, I’ve been perhaps a shade too honest. A bit too myself. And because I did those things I have forever screwed myself out of love.
I think the problem is that when I started this blog I didn’t really have any interest in dating and therefore never thought through what the consequences of my posts would be later when I wanted to date again. Now that the time of dating is once again upon me, I realize this blog has to become a secret. Which will be difficult considering it’s a big part of my life. This is very problematic. I see two options.
1. Tell the guy immediately that I write a blog. (Because, you know, I’m pretty proud of it). Guy I’m dating reads this blog. Guy decides I am a whole lot of crazy and changes all of his numbers and moves to New Zealand. Because, let’s be honest, no guy who reads this blog is going to think I’m a “catch”. Sure, he might think I’m hilarious (which I totally am) but no way is he going to want to date a girl who clearly has no filter, will definitely blog about him, and even if they did date would write some sort of break-up blog when things end. Poor guy. He’s the real victim.
2. I can hide this blog like Mr. Rochester hid his wife. Hopefully it won’t burn my house down. Sure, he might wonder what I am always writing and giggling to myself on the computer about but I’m hoping I can claim some sort of celebrity gossip addiction. And I’ll be all “O.M.G. did you know that Beyonce has a secret Uncle who invented the cell-phone charger?? Scandalous! And Perez Hilton drew a penis on his face. Hahahah!” and then he’ll be like “Oh.” and leave me alone to write my hilarious blogs. But what if he finds out about my blog??? Then we have to have an awkward conversation that he will probably read about on my blog the next day.
All my options lead to uncomfortable break-ups. Can anyone think of a third option?? That doesn’t end awkwardly? No?? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
The truth is, I love this blog. I love writing it and I love my readers. But at the end of the day, my hot-tub of crazy is something you need to get used to a little at a time- if someone just jumps in they will be cooked alive. Reading this blog would be like jumping in head-first into my hot-tub of crazy. Basically, this blog is like TMI on crack.