So- I haven’t really had any opportunity to flirt with the accident and all. This puts me behind for my October deadline. But no fear my friends, I have a plan. I’m going to play the Tiny Tim card. Seeing as how I’m on crutches and will likely be so for a while more, this card seems like my best option. I mean, it’s an easy conversation starter. “Hey pretty lady, how did you hurt your leg?” (is what I imagine them saying). Then I can tell them about my car accident and we can just take the conversation from there. They will probably want to buy me dinner because, sheesh, I was in a car accident don’t I deserve a free meal? OH WAIT. I just realized- I can play the damsel in distress card on TOP of the Tiny Tim card. I hear that guys really go for a damsel in distress so I might as well capitalize on it now because this is about the only time in my life anyone would ever consider me a damsel in distress. Ok, I can see it all playing out in my mind now.
Attractive Fella: How did you hurt your leg? ( I left out the “pretty lady” jazz because if a guy said that to me in real life, I wouldn’t really appreciate it.)
Me: I was in a bad car accident. (bats eyelashes)
Attractive Fella: Oh my goodness! I’m so glad you are alright.
Me: Me too, it was so frightening. (more eyelash batting)
Attractive Fella: Can I get that door for you? (note: there is a door)
Me: Yes, please. I would really appreciate it. I just don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. (note: I would have figured it out)
Attractive Fella: It’s the least I could do. I’m [insert name here].
Me: It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Girl on the Contrary. (big smile)
Attractive Fella: Girl on the Contrary? What an interesting name.
Me: My parents are hippies. (note: my parents aren’t hippies)
Attractive Fella: This may seem a bit forward but, can I buy you dinner sometime?
Me: I like your boldness. Yes, yes you may buy me dinner. (eyelash batting and smiling)
* And they lived happily ever after* (note: or at least they had a pleasant dinner)
These crutches might actually play in my favor. Or they might just give me bruises in my armpits. At this point, it’s a toss-up.
Fabulous. I would do just the same
you still make me giggle, girl on the contrary, and that keeps our relationship fresh and exciting. 
We might just be soul-sisters.
don’t your eyelashes get tired, ms. scarlett???????
Nope- I have super strong eyelashes.
And it doesn’t end there. Milk this situation of the crutches thing as much as possible.
Use it for free stuff EVERYWHERE.
Free drinks! Free coffee! Free meals!
And then pretty soon no paying taxes!
Yay! No taxes! These crutches are magical!
Boy, no kidding your parents aren’t hippies. Grammy, neither.
Not so much. Or rather, not at all.
How come you don’t have a like button?
*LIKE*
I thought I did. Someone liked this earlier…..or maybe that person lives in an alternate universe where my site does have a like button. Think on that.
Stay open for the guy wanting to help the damsel in distress. It makes us guys feel all manly.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
I’ll try my best.