So- I haven’t really had any opportunity to flirt with the accident and all. This puts me behind for my October deadline. But no fear my friends, I have a plan. I’m going to play the Tiny Tim card. Seeing as how I’m on crutches and will likely be so for a while more, this card seems like my best option. I mean, it’s an easy conversation starter. “Hey pretty lady, how did you hurt your leg?” (is what I imagine them saying). Then I can tell them about my car accident and we can just take the conversation from there. They will probably want to buy me dinner because, sheesh, I was in a car accident don’t I deserve a free meal? OH WAIT. I just realized- I can play the damsel in distress card on TOP of the Tiny Tim card. I hear that guys really go for a damsel in distress so I might as well capitalize on it now because this is about the only time in my life anyone would ever consider me a damsel in distress. Ok, I can see it all playing out in my mind now.
Attractive Fella: How did you hurt your leg? ( I left out the “pretty lady” jazz because if a guy said that to me in real life, I wouldn’t really appreciate it.)
Me: I was in a bad car accident. (bats eyelashes)
Attractive Fella: Oh my goodness! I’m so glad you are alright.
Me: Me too, it was so frightening. (more eyelash batting)
Attractive Fella: Can I get that door for you? (note: there is a door)
Me: Yes, please. I would really appreciate it. I just don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. (note: I would have figured it out)
Attractive Fella: It’s the least I could do. I’m [insert name here].
Me: It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Girl on the Contrary. (big smile)
Attractive Fella: Girl on the Contrary? What an interesting name.
Me: My parents are hippies. (note: my parents aren’t hippies)
Attractive Fella: This may seem a bit forward but, can I buy you dinner sometime?
Me: I like your boldness. Yes, yes you may buy me dinner. (eyelash batting and smiling)
* And they lived happily ever after* (note: or at least they had a pleasant dinner)
These crutches might actually play in my favor. Or they might just give me bruises in my armpits. At this point, it’s a toss-up.