I had a smashing day at work yesterday. Literally. I actually got smashed by the front door of the office. It was a very proud moment for me. I mean, I wasn’t even trying to get smashed- it was like fate knew how incredibly stellar I would look to everyone at the front desk when I couldn’t even manage to get through the front door without making a fool of myself- so fate took over and made the wind blow really hard just as I was about to step through the door and the door just couldn’t resist the wind so it slammed shut and wedged me between the door and the door jam. And of course, to make me look extra super good, fate made the wind continue to blow so I had a very difficult time pushing the door off of me and just sort of wiggled around until I finally managed to free myself. Classic. So incredibly proud of how professional and competent I looked.
Oh, but wait. Fate wasn’t done making me look incredibly awesome.
I ran into the CEO of my client’s company in the kitchen while I was making tea. He started chatting with me and asking me about some new programs. I was so distracted I filled my cup too full and then twisted the lid on. Scalding water started pouring out of one side of the cup, down my hand and arm, and on my shirt. Hoping to play it off I just twisted the cup a bit so that the side that wasn’t spilling was facing him and just acted like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Sure, it burned. It burned badly, but did I let a little thing like burning skin stop me from finishing my conversation with my client? No way. I’m a professional. And sure, on retrospect, I realize he probably knew I was spilling hot tea all over myself, but I can’t help but think he was mighty impressed with how I didn’t let that distract me from the conversation. Or you know, maybe he just thinks I’m a spaz.
Thank you fate/bad luck/bad juju/whatever the kids are calling you these days. You really helped me look competent to hold employment between the getting stuck in the door incident and the scalding hot tea spilling incident. Quality work, my friend. I’m probably going to get a promotion.
(This is when I need a sarcasm tag)